"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Poll: Help with looking at options to move out

What do you think is the best option?

  • Closer to work but further from fun

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Midway between work and fun

    Votes: 1 33.3%
  • Closer to fun but further from work

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • You can't afford to move out without a roommate to get lower rent

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • You can't afford to move out at all, keep saving

    Votes: 2 66.7%

  • Total voters
    3

BPH

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Building off of this post: https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/how-would-you-find-a-good-roommate.283132/

Since the idea kinda shifted from how to find a roommate, to where I should be looking for a 1BR/studio. Here are some quick stats:
  • I make about $38,000 per year, around $3,000 per month
  • I have about $10,000 saved up
  • I live in Wilmington, DE but am considering moving as far as Philadelphia, PA, which would lead to about a 30-40 minute work commute but I wouldn't have to spend $100s on Ubers for the sake of a social life
  • Most studio/1 bedrooms that aren't garbage are $1,000 - $1,200
  • Most places include basic utilities; parking, internet, water, trash disposal, etc with electric/AC being calculated based on usage
  • I don't have major bills - my largest expense is about $600/mo which pays down my student loan
So far I've had the best results searching on Apartments.com. Zillow and AirBNB are lacking in comparison, even based on price.

Thought I'd toss this poll up to get some more opinions, even if people don't want to bother leaving a reply.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Bible_Belt

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Have you looked into buying anything? Based upon those numbers, you would qualify for a mortgage payment of about $900 per month. I know that isn't much but it could put you into a distressed/foreclosure property if you are handy or want to learn. If you have any inkling at all of wanting a loan, start paying your parents a grand or so a month *on paper* so you have the documentation of being able to make that payment.

Everyone interested in real estate should look up their local tax lien sales and go to an auction. I once bought a vacant lot for $700. Just going to observe is educational.
 

RickTheToad

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Building off of this post: https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/how-would-you-find-a-good-roommate.283132/

Since the idea kinda shifted from how to find a roommate, to where I should be looking for a 1BR/studio. Here are some quick stats:
  • I make about $38,000 per year, around $3,000 per month
  • I have about $10,000 saved up
  • I live in Wilmington, DE but am considering moving as far as Philadelphia, PA, which would lead to about a 30-40 minute work commute but I wouldn't have to spend $100s on Ubers for the sake of a social life
  • Most studio/1 bedrooms that aren't garbage are $1,000 - $1,200
  • Most places include basic utilities; parking, internet, water, trash disposal, etc with electric/AC being calculated based on usage
  • I don't have major bills - my largest expense is about $600/mo which pays down my student loan
So far I've had the best results searching on Apartments.com. Zillow and AirBNB are lacking in comparison, even based on price.

Thought I'd toss this poll up to get some more opinions, even if people don't want to bother leaving a reply.
I would be best to purchase something.


As an example. Offer $130k.

FHA 5% down - $6500.00
Closing costs - $2000.00

monthly mortgage with PMI - $1,215.32


Stay there a year, turn into a rental, and earn around $2300.00 a month. Congrats, you are now making a profit of around $1085.00 as a landlord. Move into another unit, stay there for another year, rinse and repeat. In two or three years, you have $2500.00 - $3500.00 monthly in passive NET income. All expenses are now investment expenses (mortgage, insurance, taxes, etc), and you write them off, thus lowering your taxable income. Add in depreciation as a bonus.
 

Bible_Belt

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I would be best to purchase something.


As an example. Offer $130k.

FHA 5% down - $6500.00
Closing costs - $2000.00

monthly mortgage with PMI - $1,215.32


Stay there a year, turn into a rental, and earn around $2300.00 a month. Congrats, you are now making a profit of around $1085.00 as a landlord. Move into another unit, stay there for another year, rinse and repeat. In two or three years, you have $2500.00 - $3500.00 monthly in passive NET income. All expenses are now investment expenses (mortgage, insurance, taxes, etc), and you write them off, thus lowering your taxable income. Add in depreciation as a bonus.
I like how you think, buy that's probably a little too high of a payment to get approved. The mortgage underwriter would also want to see a payment history on bank statements to the parents for a similar amount as rent. 50% of gross income is the most that any lender wants to see going toward total debt payments.

A lot of individual owners will take a contract for deed if they are motivated. Tax and foreclosure sales are all public information.
 

BPH

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Have you looked into buying anything? Based upon those numbers, you would qualify for a mortgage payment of about $900 per month. I know that isn't much but it could put you into a distressed/foreclosure property if you are handy or want to learn. If you have any inkling at all of wanting a loan, start paying your parents a grand or so a month *on paper* so you have the documentation of being able to make that payment.

Everyone interested in real estate should look up their local tax lien sales and go to an auction. I once bought a vacant lot for $700. Just going to observe is educational.
I would be best to purchase something.


As an example. Offer $130k.

FHA 5% down - $6500.00
Closing costs - $2000.00

monthly mortgage with PMI - $1,215.32


Stay there a year, turn into a rental, and earn around $2300.00 a month. Congrats, you are now making a profit of around $1085.00 as a landlord. Move into another unit, stay there for another year, rinse and repeat. In two or three years, you have $2500.00 - $3500.00 monthly in passive NET income. All expenses are now investment expenses (mortgage, insurance, taxes, etc), and you write them off, thus lowering your taxable income. Add in depreciation as a bonus.
I'm not gonna pretend I know the first thing about home ownership, seeing as I've never owned one.

What I DO know is that I don't want to live in Delaware, and I'm not ready to settle down. So anchoring myself with a 15-30-year mortgage doesn't seem like a good idea.

If I understand this example, it assumes that somebody will first, pay $2,300/mo to live there, then continue that for the entire 15/30 years that I'd be carrying that mortgage. If either of those things comes up short, I'd be more likely looking at a break-even or loss. This also doesn't factor in other costs such as cleanup, maintenance, fixing issues caused by tenants, etc.

On paper, this may work, but dumping 90% of what I have saved up into something that's going to lock me into the same position that I'm already in for another 15-30 years doesn't seem ideal - especially if I lose my job or have my hours reduced again.

These are all assumptions, but renting appeals more to me because I can relocate as my life situation changes (ideally, as income improves). Building equity so that I "hopefully" have a passive income stream in the next several years doesn't seem like it'd be as easy as you're describing. If that were the case, I'm sure people would be doing it to GET rich, rather than AFTER they get rich.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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sevbucmash

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A). You are not taking into accoung utility bills. You'd be paying for light, water, garbage, gas, etc.
B). You are forgetting about food bills. Right now you are sharing food bill with your parents.
C). Mortage? Well you are not taking into account insurance and moving expenses like buying new furniture.

I make about $38,000 per year
Nice! In Russian Federation you'd be ballin. But keep in mind you'd be renting appartment for $250 and your utility expenses would be $30, plus your food expenses would be $100. You'd be saving 2700 a month.

But as it is right now, you are in lower class poor people territory. You need to grind it and make it until you make $100,000 per year or above. Use all the help you could get, including from your parents. Living with parents helps you at this moment in time.

P.S. Back in the day, I used to make around $3000 a month in the United States, and it wasn't enough for me, we're talking year 2003-2006. Now in 2024 I don't know what you thinking.
 

RickTheToad

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I like how you think, buy that's probably a little too high of a payment to get approved. The mortgage underwriter would also want to see a payment history on bank statements to the parents for a similar amount as rent. 50% of gross income is the most that any lender wants to see going toward total debt payments.

A lot of individual owners will take a contract for deed if they are motivated. Tax and foreclosure sales are all public information.
Not for 1st time home buyers. Wilmington, DE also has up to a 15k first time home buyers program.

 

RickTheToad

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I'm not gonna pretend I know the first thing about home ownership, seeing as I've never owned one.

What I DO know is that I don't want to live in Delaware, and I'm not ready to settle down. So anchoring myself with a 15-30-year mortgage doesn't seem like a good idea.

If I understand this example, it assumes that somebody will first, pay $2,300/mo to live there, then continue that for the entire 15/30 years that I'd be carrying that mortgage. If either of those things comes up short, I'd be more likely looking at a break-even or loss. This also doesn't factor in other costs such as cleanup, maintenance, fixing issues caused by tenants, etc.

On paper, this may work, but dumping 90% of what I have saved up into something that's going to lock me into the same position that I'm already in for another 15-30 years doesn't seem ideal - especially if I lose my job or have my hours reduced again.

These are all assumptions, but renting appeals more to me because I can relocate as my life situation changes (ideally, as income improves). Building equity so that I "hopefully" have a passive income stream in the next several years doesn't seem like it'd be as easy as you're describing. If that were the case, I'm sure people would be doing it to GET rich, rather than AFTER they get rich.
I think you are looking at it the wrong way, but what do I know. I've only been doing real estate for nearly 15 years.
 

RickTheToad

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A). You are not taking into accoung utility bills. You'd be paying for light, water, garbage, gas, etc.
B). You are forgetting about food bills. Right now you are sharing food bill with your parents.
C). Mortage? Well you are not taking into account insurance and moving expenses like buying new furniture.


Nice! In Russian Federation you'd be ballin. But keep in mind you'd be renting appartment for $250 and your utility expenses would be $30, plus your food expenses would be $100. You'd be saving 2700 a month.

But as it is right now, you are in lower class poor people territory. You need to grind it and make it until you make $100,000 per year or above. Use all the help you could get, including from your parents. Living with parents helps you at this moment in time.

P.S. Back in the day, I used to make around $3000 a month in the United States, and it wasn't enough for me, we're talking year 2003-2006. Now in 2024 I don't know what you thinking.
Fastest and most secure way is through real estate. If purchased correctly, he could be doing pretty well. Plus, with the down payment assistance, it's little risk to him and better than throwing the money away on rent.
 

sevbucmash

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@RickTheToad
Why you say that? He is paying right now $0 and is making $3100 a month, if he buys he will be -$payment and making $1500 to $1800 a month.

^^That is before expenses.
There are bills, moving costs like buying stuff, insurance, maintenance, property tax.
Don't forget about utility bills.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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BPH

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I think you are looking at it the wrong way, but what do I know. I've only been doing real estate for nearly 15 years.
I don't doubt you know what you're talking about, I doubt it works for the position I'm in.

Considering I live at home and make less than $40,000/year I can't imagine my best course of action is to take on a $123,500 loan.
 

Bible_Belt

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I don't doubt you know what you're talking about, I doubt it works for the position I'm in.

Considering I live at home and make less than $40,000/year I can't imagine my best course of action is to take on a $123,500 loan.
Ownership is really about maintenance, upgrades and improving value. Some people are more into that than others. There's no shame in making your money elsewhere if that's not what you're into.
 

BPH

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Ownership is really about maintenance, upgrades and improving value. Some people are more into that than others. There's no shame in making your money elsewhere if that's not what you're into.
I'm just not where I want to be yet, so the prospect of rooting myself down in the place where I want to move out while incurring massive debt is something I'm not keen on.

There might be an idea here if I just applied this idea WHERE I want to live, but since I don't know where that is yet, renting seems like the safer way to find out, and I'm looking at baby steps.

Somewhere in Florida or Arizona seems like a nice place for a more permanent living situation - but Philadelphia is close enough that it's not too drastic of a move while also being closer to the nightlife that's so lacking where I currently live.

That's why there's the consideration in the poll above.
 

SW15

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Back in the day, I used to make around $3000 a month in the United States, and it wasn't enough for me, we're talking year 2003-2006. Now in 2024 I don't know what you thinking.
A $36,000 annual salary around 2003-2006 wasn't that impressive overall. In those days, you might have been able to afford a mediocre 1 bedroom apartment in less expensive US cities. 2 bedrooms with a roommate would have given you more flexibility. However, you were 19-22 in 2003-2006 and $36,000 at those ages in that time period looks better.

Somewhere in Florida or Arizona seems like a nice place for a more permanent living situation - but Philadelphia is close enough that it's not too drastic of a move while also being closer to the nightlife that's so lacking where I currently live.
Both Florida and Arizona are having climate issues that could be long term problems. Hurricanes are battering Florida. Arizona's summer heat continues to get worse.

In Phoenix, one of the primary reasons of recent decades to move there no longer applies. From the mid-1990s to mid to late 2010s, the area was flooded by West Coasters (primarily Californians) and Chicagoans looking to escape higher cost areas. Rents and home prices in Metro Phoenix were affordable. Phoenix is no longer as affordable on housing costs and overall costs of living as it was 15-20 years ago.

In Phoenix now, subpar to mediocre studios/1 bedrooms are around the same prices as Wilmington/Philadelphia. You might even be lucky to get a place around $1,200/month these days.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Divorced w 3

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I don't doubt you know what you're talking about, I doubt it works for the position I'm in.

Considering I live at home and make less than $40,000/year I can't imagine my best course of action is to take on a $123,500 loan.
Just say thank you jerkoff. The guy is giving you amazing advice, which you supposedly came here for. I don’t think you’re going to get any better advice than his, and it’s probably the only way you’re going to accrue a net worth based on whatever it is that you’re doing. I was going to suggest you move to a city where you can be in a better position to walk to work and get a better job, like for instance if your career now is fixing flat tires and fighting with people online you ask for help in your spare time, you may actually find more work in Philadelphia or another metropolis, but honestly you don’t strike me as motivated like that, so I would take his advice.
 
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Clockwerk50

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I think you need a better job, ideally in your field (Kinesiology, Physio).

Society is set up for 2 people living under a roof, such as a couple. You will drive yourself dry trying to make your ends meet.
 

BPH

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Just say thank you jerkoff. The guy is giving you amazing advice, which you supposedly came here for. I don’t think you’re going to get any better advice than his, and it’s probably the only way you’re going to accrue a net worth based on whatever it is that you’re doing. I was going to suggest you move to a city where you can be in a better position to walk to work and get a better job, like for instance if your career now is fixing flat tires and fighting with people online you ask for help in your spare time, you may actually find more work in Philadelphia or another metropolis, but honestly you don’t strike me as motivated like that, so I would take his advice.
You're just always angry huh?

Him being in real estate for 15 years has nothing to do with MY (lack of) knowledge of how to make that work. I'd be going from living at home barely able to afford rent in most places, to taking on a $123,000 gambling debt for 30 years along with all the expenses that come with it.

Does that seem like a logical progression to you?
 

BillyPilgrim

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IMG_7439a1.jpg

Just leaving this here..
 

Attachments

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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