"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Poll for You
- Thread starter Amazing
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Maxtro
Master Don Juan
I saw my dad for two weekends a month.
When I was 13 my brother and I moved in with Dad and his new wife and baby.
So, yes and no?
DonGorgon
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2007
- Messages
- 4,679
- Reaction score
- 102
DonGorgon said:i have no parents...lol.. but i have money and thats all humans care about..
only on Sosuave can I see broken people like this - I mean I see it in real life but not to this extent of frustration.
Money, really?
What I meant originally was - dad left or died or whatever, but he wasn't there for you during your formative years (3-18)
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Tortendieb
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2011
- Messages
- 211
- Reaction score
- 5
I got a friend who grew up without a dad, and he doesn't have issues at all. On the contrary, he grew up to take responsibility and support his mum when she felt it was too much for her. He grew up to to be the man in the family, and he's one of the toughest go-getters I've ever known.
^^^Tortendieb said:So you want to have a connection between having no dad and being AFC? You can be AFC even with a dad, if he doesn't take charge and raise you to be a man.
I got a friend who grew up without a dad, and he doesn't have issues at all. On the contrary, he grew up to take responsibility and support his mum when she felt it was too much for her. He grew up to to be the man in the family, and he's one of the toughest go-getters I've ever known.
This guy is right,it's more damageful an afc dad and a dominant mother than no dad at all and a mother who doesnt play the empowered woman.
The problem is that usually a father figure push you to pass your limits and take action while a mother figure try to stop you even lowering your self esteem if it needs "you cant do that sport they are too big for you" line for example.
Or worse "do something for her so she will likes you",the beggining of an afc line.
However and afc dad who just confirm what the mother say or even worse he is treated as a powerless kid too is worse.
It can happen instead that if there's no father and the mother is submissive,the son manage to become more more dominant but lack the rules that a father figure gives,that's why many violent men come from that environment.
If he came to a board like this and looked up to some members he probably grew a shell and did ok...for awhile