PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder)

[Pandora]

So I noticed my wife goes insane the week leading up to her period. This is when most of the problems arise. I starting researching and there is such a thing called premenstrual dysphoric disorder or PMDD. The change is so drastic that I can pinpoint when she is about to start her period. It is bad. She crys about little stuff and its my fault of course etc. Then after 3 days or so she is back to normal for 3 more weeks. Its crazy.

Not all women have this but many do. Why did God make women so dang on complicated?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Estrogen related? Isn't there something she can take to help with that?

 

[BeExcellent]

So I noticed my wife goes insane the week leading up to her period. This is when most of the problems arise. I starting researching and there is such a thing called premenstrual dysphoric disorder or PMDD. The change is so drastic that I can pinpoint when she is about to start her period. It is bad. She crys about little stuff and its my fault of course etc. Then after 3 days or so she is back to normal for 3 more weeks. Its crazy.

Not all women have this but many do. Why did God make women so dang on complicated?

Oral contraceptives can help with the hormonal mood swings. Consider that. Otherwise consult with a male OB/GYN (men are more straightforward about this condition, some women physicians will downplay it.....)

Its real and it certainly can affect things.

Does she accept or deny that this is happening?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Get her stoned those 3 days

God made them that way so men either go stoic or insane. Fricking fine fussy fulcrums of frustration.

In the Olden Dayes we called this PMS

 

[plumber]

familiar with it. yes it is real. no it is not your fault. yes she can control it if she has to.

your instinct is to care for her and help her be well. you can not do it. best is to avoid her during this time. not in a mean way, just in an avoid way. you can not help her, she can not help her. sometimes women know and really just want to be left alone during that time. things like a hot water bottle can help. this is one of the situations where real empathy is reasonable....

do not discuss important stuff with her during this time. do not argue with her, do not correct her, just go gray rock but in a kind way if there is such a thing... great time to do some other hobbies or activities you want/need to do.

your right, after it passes she is back to normal. you might also see a large swing on ovulation day. often that matches with this pattern.

 

[viking22]

Sugar and refined carbs generally can worsen PMDD. So maybe look at her diet and encourage her to eat more heailthily and maybe you can do that together.

 

[The Duke]

Oral contraceptives are interesting. I do agree they keep things more stable, but I swear women on them are never as horny as the ones who don't take anything.

All a guy can do is not engage her and stay out of situations that can easily go bad(bars, drinking, certain topics).

Once she is back to normal, I would discuss her behavior with her. If she doesn't show much empathy and lacks awareness then thats something she needs to work on.

 

[Pandora]

Get her stoned those 3 days

God made them that way so men either go stoic or insane. Fricking fine fussy fulcrums of frustration.

In the Olden Dayes we called this PMS

Haha my friend used to keep his woman stoned when she was going crazy too. They divorced for 10 years so it didnt help. He recently started dating her again.

 

[Pandora]

Oral contraceptives can help with the hormonal mood swings. Consider that. Otherwise consult with a male OB/GYN (men are more straightforward about this condition, some women physicians will downplay it.....)

Its real and it certainly can affect things.

Does she accept or deny that this is happening?

Thanks BeExcellent. She does except that it is happening but she does not want to go on oral contraceptives. I will try to convince her.

 

[Sega Genesis]

Hey @Pandora , first off I'm happy to hear your marriage is going so wel! Or better. You seem like an attentive and caring husband, she's very lucky.

Re your wife's PMDD symptims, a few things can help other than oral contraceptives since she doesn't want to take those.

SSRI's (anti-depressants) can help, start taking two weeks before her period. A qualified doctor can prescribe the right one for her.

If she doesn't want to go that route, there are natural things she can do that help ME a lot with mood swings.

1. Limiting caffeine, salt and alcohol. They can increase mood swings, bloating, and fatigue.

2. Eating lots of lean protein and taking certain vitamin supplements like magnesium and calcium, Vitamin B and D. These help me as well.

3. Finally exercise! Cannot stress this enough. Yoga and walking! At least 30 minutes per day minimum. Helps me tremendously.

Anyway, best of luck to you both and hope she feels better!

 

[Pandora]

Hey @Pandora , first off I'm happy to hear your marriage is going so wel! Or better. You seem like an attentive and caring husband, she's very lucky.

Re your wife's PMDD symptims, a few things can help other than oral contraceptives since she doesn't want to take those.

SSRI's (anti-depressants) can help, start taking two weeks before her period. A qualified doctor can prescribe the right one for her.

If she doesn't want to go that route, there are natural things she can do that help ME a lot with mood swings.

1. Limiting caffeine, salt and alcohol. They can increase mood swings, bloating, and fatigue.

2. Eating lots of lean protein and taking certain vitamin supplements like magnesium and calcium, Vitamin B and D. These help me as well.

3. Finally exercise! Cannot stress this enough. Yoga and walking! At least 30 minutes per day minimum. Helps me tremendously.

Anyway, best of luck to you both and hope she feels better!

Thank you very much for the kind words. The marriage is not going well tho. She has mood regulation issues and I feel like I am walking on eggshells. She loves me to death but she is just not a very happy person. I should have seen the issues before marriage. She just sits at home with no motivation to work or volunteer etc.

I will probably divorce soon but I am giving it a little while longer because I know how devastated she will be. I have a deadline of about 6 more months.

 

[Sega Genesis]

Thank you very much for the kind words. The marriage is not going well tho. She has mood regulation issues and I feel like I am walking on eggshells. She loves me to death but she is just not a very happy person. I should have seen the issues before marriage. She just sits at home with no motivation to work or volunteer etc.

I will probably divorce soon but I am giving it a little while longer because I know how devastated she will be. I have a deadline of about 6 more months.

Sorry to hear that man.
Stay strong.

 

[Barrister]

Thank you very much for the kind words. The marriage is not going well tho. She has mood regulation issues and I feel like I am walking on eggshells. She loves me to death but she is just not a very happy person. I should have seen the issues before marriage. She just sits at home with no motivation to work or volunteer etc.

I will probably divorce soon but I am giving it a little while longer because I know how devastated she will be. I have a deadline of about 6 more months.

If you found a solution for the PMS would that ultimately change your outlook for your marriage? If the answer is "no," why even waste time worrying about it? Not trying to be flippant, just legitimately curious at that point. I assume you are saying if the violent mood swings disappeared you could manage to stay in your marriage.

 

[Lauel]

Estrogen related? Isn't there something she can take to help with that?

Probably progesterone. Seems like hormonal imbalance, though I don't know what.
Female biology is a link of T, Estrogen, Progesterone and other hormones.

 

[Lauel]

Thank you very much for the kind words. The marriage is not going well tho. She has mood regulation issues and I feel like I am walking on eggshells. She loves me to death but she is just not a very happy person. I should have seen the issues before marriage. She just sits at home with no motivation to work or volunteer etc.

I will probably divorce soon but I am giving it a little while longer because I know how devastated she will be. I have a deadline of about 6 more months.

I am sorry to hear that. I know how that feels: My own relationship is or has almost ended. She loves me to death, but she sits at home along her cat with fights between us entirely draining her out of any motivation to work or change herself. For anything I suggest or recommend I get shot down.
And to leave a person who is suffering from themselves, who deserves much better feels pretty bad.
Regardless, I hope you both find the peace you seek.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Probably progesterone. Seems like hormonal imbalance, though I don't know what.
Female biology is a link of T, Estrogen, Progesterone and other hormones.

Males are too...progesterone plays a very important role in preventing estrogen dominance in males.

 

[CaptFinnBad]

So I noticed my wife goes insane the week leading up to her period. This is when most of the problems arise. I starting researching and there is such a thing called premenstrual dysphoric disorder or PMDD. The change is so drastic that I can pinpoint when she is about to start her period. It is bad. She crys about little stuff and its my fault of course etc. Then after 3 days or so she is back to normal for 3 more weeks. Its crazy.

Not all women have this but many do. Why did God make women so dang on complicated?

I had an EX who had this. PMDD is toxic poison. Pre menopause is goes into overdrive.

This ain't a normal beast and can't even be compared to pms. If a women ever utters the words PMDD to me, I'd instantly end the relationship.

I know it's not their fault but it jeez life is too short, and for me it's easily up there with the likes of BPD and NPD.

I think there was some sort of study done looking into the high suicide rates of the partners of women who have PMDD.

It's no joke.

 

[Bokanovsky]

So I noticed my wife goes insane the week leading up to her period. This is when most of the problems arise. I starting researching and there is such a thing called premenstrual dysphoric disorder or PMDD. The change is so drastic that I can pinpoint when she is about to start her period. It is bad. She crys about little stuff and its my fault of course etc. Then after 3 days or so she is back to normal for 3 more weeks. Its crazy.

Not all women have this but many do. Why did God make women so dang on complicated?

Does she gone "insane" on her friends, relatives, co-workers and boss, or just on you?

 

[Bokanovsky]

Get her stoned those 3 days

God made them that way so men either go stoic or insane. Fricking fine fussy fulcrums of frustration.

In the Olden Dayes we called this PMS

in the really olden days, they had a very effective cure for PMS, PMDD or whatever they called it back then.

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

You could do one of two things. One, you could just ignore behaviors you don't like and reenforce behaviors that you do like. When she is doing things you don't like, go do something that you enjoy. If she gives you hell, this is a problem. When she does things you DO like, show her a sign of affection or give her a ginger or flirtatious touch to reassure her she is desirable to you. If she gives you hell for THIS---it is a problem. You should be able to support her or have some time away from her without her blaming YOU for it. If you can't, IMHO the relationship is on borrowed time.

Two, you can just make an extra effort to be as relaxed as possible no matter how chaotic she gets and know that it will pass. Only you can be the judge on how much is too much to handle. If it's too much to handle more than you get enjoyment in the good days, I think you know what to do. In either case, I'm unfortunately in agreement with CaptFinnbad. I've never been able to sustain a mutually loving and healthy relationship with a woman claiming any sort of condition that exacerbates targeted behaviors or makes them worse. Even worse yet is when she inserts it as a matter of fact during a rant.... ie "You know I have ____, be patient! This is all part of it!" that's NEVER a good sign and IMHO no good can come from a relationship when someone points to something outside themselves for the cause of their reaction to reality.

And yes. As you well know, reality sucks a LOT of the time. Chin up.