Please help

[LTG71]

After 5 years the relationship probably got stale. Who knows if her job had anything to do with it. Once the “honeymoon” period is over, it’s hard to keep the romance alive if there is not constant effort on both sides, aka complacency. She might have been taking you for granted as she back pedaled once you dumped her.

Just curious, what job do you have now after the military, or are you retired? Women can’t stand to see a guy relaxing when they are working. It’s a funny dynamic how a woman will work like a dog to support their children but will not support their man if he is not working, even if he is a decorated serviceman. This is their hypergamous nature.

Thank you for your service btw.

 

[Stamper75]

Congrats on dumping her. No man needs a "successful woman" aka boss *****. We dont care about her money, we dont care about her success.

For future LTRs though.... if you find her loosing respect/becoming less compliant/pulling away/sexually not availlable, try using dread game.

This will keep her on her heels and her head working the problem instead of creating bs for you.

It works wonders for me and can turn situations like yours around.
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Thank you. I'll have to look into dread game more.

 

[Stamper75]

After 5 years the relationship probably got stale. Who knows if her job had anything to do with it. Once the “honeymoon” period is over, it’s hard to keep the romance alive if there is not constant effort on both sides, aka complacency. She might have been taking you for granted as she back pedaled once you dumped her.

Just curious, what job do you have now after the military, or are you retired? Women can’t stand to see a guy relaxing when they are working. It’s a funny dynamic how a woman will work like a dog to support their children but will not support their man if he is not working, even if he is a decorated serviceman. This is their hypergamous nature.

Thank you for your service btw.

I'm a nuclear shipfitter at a Naval Shipyard. I also have full custody of my 2 sons and that had a lot to do with the deterioration of our relationship. She had no kids.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I'm a nuclear shipfitter at a Naval Shipyard. I also have full custody of my 2 sons and that had a lot to do with the deterioration of our relationship. She had no kids.

Exactly why I have always said waste of time dating women with no kids when the male has kids...very hard to make that work long term.

 

[Stamper75]

Exactly why I have always said waste of time dating women with no kids when the male has kids...very hard to make that work long term.

Ha apparently so. She has cats. I think she's going to end up old and miserable all alone with a house full of cats.

 

[jaymbrs]

Concur. Dealing with this even though he is PRO in his sport and makes 6 figures outside it.

Cheers

Yikes. You admit making more money than your fiancé makes you feel superior to him?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yikes. You admit making more money than your fiancé makes you feel superior to him?

It isn't a conscious decision. That's just how it works.

 

[Slowhandluke]

She's married to her job.

She is broken... unless you just want another person to hang with (just as a friend); she is not LTR material.

She is like any other MALE friend. If you guys start hanging out less, you wouldn't get all emotional, would you? Of course not...

 

[Stamper75]

She is broken... unless you just want another person to hang with (just as a friend); she is not LTR material.

She is like any other MALE friend. If you guys start hanging out less, you wouldn't get all emotional, would you? Of course not...

My plan is to never see her again.

 

[Slowhandluke]

My plan is to never see her again.

Man, she must have done a number on you. I try to be friends with my ex's. I dont go out of my way to ignore them or hang with them. I just treat them like friends... probably leaning more towards acquaintances.

There's only one girl I completely ignored, and she was crazy and had a tendency to be manipulative (toxic).

Be cool with me, and I'll be cool with you.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

The hardest part of a relationship is keeping your individuality. Rarely do people keep that when they commit.

Losing that has many effects both in the relationship and on your mental health.

Always maintain boundaries. Never stop doing the things you enjoy and are passionate about. Have your own life. Never stop learning and growing as a man (and as a human being). This will keep any partner away from getting too comfortable or taking you for granted.

 

[jaymbrs]

It isn't a conscious decision. That's just how it works.

The irony. And unless she’s a stripper, on OF or these days an “influencer”, I couldn’t care less what her income or occupation is.

 

[Stamper75]

The irony. And unless she’s a stripper, on OF or these days an “influencer”, I couldn’t care less what her income or occupation is.

Same. As long as I don't have to pay her bills I don't care what she makes.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The irony. And unless she’s a stripper, on OF or these days an “influencer”, I couldn’t care less what her income or occupation is.

That's because for many years the male was the breadwinner and the female stayed home with the kids or worked part time.

Things may have changed but just because things change doesn't mean thousands of years of social upbringing does overnight.

If the woman makes significantly more than the man something just feels "wrong" or "off" to her. You can't put your finger on it, but it's there. Women do not want to feel superior to the man they are dating, unless they are dominatrixes.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Yikes. You admit making more money than your fiancé makes you feel superior to him?

Yeah, man. Don't you get it?

She's a woman in her 50's who's dating a professional athlete. However, the problem is, she makes more money than him even though he's a professional athlete. So....you know...she's starting to lose attraction for her professional athlete fiance ....while being in her 50's.

What about this doesn't make sense?

 

[Stamper75]

You're lacking options /abundance and confidence in yourself and the idea that women greatly desire you.

So when she pulls away, instead of realizing what might be causing it, you start to feel bad about yourself.

Me, I know what women want and i know how to take advantage of that. If a woman pulls away, I know that i might be showing her signs that im not as interested or that im not the right type of guy for her, or will b reak her heart, play her, etc.

I'd learn to not care and realize just as easily as you found her, u can find much better. Knowing this is crucial. I've had some of the hottest women leave my life and when I was younger I used to think "man idk if ill find a girl like her" which was pathetic because then the next girl I found after her was much hotter/better. Its a weird thing..

The only hard part about this is you've been locked in with her for 5 years. Since I never had anything that lasted that long, I'm going to bow out of giving any further advice.

I still appreciate it

 

[Stamper75]

Can you tell more about how she is pulling away? I will answer more in depth after that

She used to be very warm and affectionate. She just started slowly turning colder. She gone now though so it doesn't matter

 

[Stamper75]

Sounds like you need to get out for a minute.

Grab some of your fellow Marines and head to Vegas for a weekend bender. Tell her what you're doing and that you'll touch base on Sunday night/maybe Monday. Live it up and have the time of your life.

Come next week, see where the cards fall.

The point, maybe you'll be the one who's ready to go...maybe her...maybe whatever.... but maybe you just need to toss this stale monotonous thing up.

That's exactly what I'm doing next weekend. Instead of Vegas we're going camping in the mountains where there's no coverage. The ***** is history now.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

That's exactly what I'm doing next weekend. Instead of Vegas we're going camping in the mountains where there's no coverage.

Nice! yeah, much better than Vegas IMO.

 

[Stamper75]

Nice! yeah, much better than Vegas IMO.

I think so. We all have a touch of PTSD so drinking and hanging out with them is therapeutic.