I'll be brief. I've lurked on this site on and off for a lot of years. Learned a tonne of theory, applied comparatively little but have arrived at a point where I feel like I can live the truth without taking a catastrophic hit to my sense of self. My experience is probably not that different to many of you, hence my arrival here. Only recently got the balls tho to actually say **** it and take the hits, take the rejection and actually kind of enjoy it in a perverse way. my rational and experienced mind is still cohabiting with my emotional needy and idealistic mind and it is at this juncture I stand before you engaging with yet another chick whom is following the pattern of my red pill experience textbook style yet my unchecked blue pill side is still chiming in with "surely not her? She's so gentle, she's so invested, she's sensitive, she's an artist and blah blah ****ing blah" It is this unique perspective of experiencing both positions- the realist, the fantasist, interchangeably that I will play with this one to test my assumptions and my mettle and update progress for ****s and giggles and perhaps some insight. After all, just maybe this one's different......... 
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