"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Playing hard to get v. asking out
- Thread starter Maeisgood
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
undesputable
Master Don Juan
B-Lemond
Master Don Juan
"Me and some friends are going ______ later on, you can tag along if you want."
Her possible responses:
1) No thanks. - Doesn't matter cause in her eyes your not desperate because your gonna go no matter what even if she wasn't going to come. It's like you were doing her a favor by letting her be part of the fun too.
2) Sure/Yes/Ok - At this point you got your self a date. Meet her wherever you guys are going or you can pick her up, whatever you'd like. When you get to the place say in a playful way "O well, looks like they, (your friends), didn't show up."
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
There are many different ways of getting a girl to want to go out with you. One method is to act like you are not interested in her, of course she has to be a little interested in you first. The real thrust in this method is not that you do not want her, but that you do not need her, YOU ARE NOT DESPERATE.
Of course when you ask a girl out, you are committing and showing that you want to spend time with her, the whole point of a relationship, you like the girl. So it does look as if the advice is in complete juxtaposition. Act like you do need her rather than do not want her. Since, if a girl acts like she does not want you, you are less likely to ask her out.
Remember play nice.
B-Lemond
Master Don Juan
BIG CHUMPIN'Originally posted by JSH
Act like you do need her
Do I need to say more?
incognito42
Master Don Juan
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Originally posted by azn_alex
^JSH..wtf? at least other ppl gave advice, all u did was highlight his problem which he already knew existed..
No, actually he made more sense than anyone...
One method is to act like you are not interested in her, of course she has to be a little interested in you first. The real thrust in this method is not that you do not want her, but that you do not need her, YOU ARE NOT DESPERATE
I dont consider myself a DJ, or an AFC, but this makes a lot of sense to my current situation. I was really thinking about this girl a lot, too much, borderline oneitis going on. So a week and a half ago I decided to stop talking to her and stop hanging out with her because I knew she either wasnt interested or was playing games, either way I wasnt in good shape. I didnt call her this past weekend, and she called on Sunday. We talked for a couple minutes, just basic BS "how are you" yada yada and we hung up. She said she was just calling to say whats up and we hadnt talked, I told her not to be afraid to call but made sure not to say Id call and didnt try and make plans to hang out. 30 minutes later she called me back on my cell phone and said she wanted to hang out with me. I was on my way to play basketball and told her Id call her when I got back. we didnt hang out and she called back again today and said she wanted to chill tonight. I went from thinking about her a lot and her being in control (which I think she waa really getting a thrill out of), to not thinking about her much and not caring and having her really come out of her shell and make it pretty evident she is interested and inturn seemingly making her even more interested than she might have been. This may not work for your situation but it worked for me
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
They work best as two different methods, but can be combined.
The essence in getting a relationship with a girl is that you want her but do not need her. (assuming some basics)
Asking her out shows that you want her.
Playing hard to get shows that you need her.
The best way of combining the two is for her to believe that you have value (ie other girls want you) and for you to ask her out. They are not contradictory is essence but are difficult to demonstrate at the same time. The way in which I do this is through teasing and social value (having a reputation and girls wanting to go out with you). You can even build your own social value, by telling stories of what you have done, but make them believable and occasionally show that you can do these things you talk of.