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Playing hard to get behavior

Black Widow Void

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Your actions (or lack thereof) will be responsible for your outcome.

Don't like her hot and cold behavior?

When she's cold, you eject.
When she's warm, you disengage (you look at your smart phone etc...)
When she's hot, you give her attention.

You decide what you chose to 'reward' or 'punish. ' And, this will provide you a better outcome.
 

Mauser96

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Good point @Mauser96 , but in the case I was explaining is not about this as I kept a manly and attractive vibe and told her that is a biatch when she was crossing the line .

I wrote the post as I thought that people went through something similar and managed to make the conversion without using the nuke . This is more as a last resort move , where you drop everything and wait her to reinitiate contact

Let me add, that this type of behavior is strongly indicative of an AW - and more disturbingly, of NPD/BPD.

Ask me how I know....
 

Bigpapa

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Let me add, that this type of behavior is strongly indicative of an AW - and more disturbingly, of NPD/BPD.

Ask me how I know....
The hard way for sure :)

I was thinking exactly about that today , but guess that I never encountered such a person so also a part of me is quite curious if she is crazy or not , so I know next time from first hand experience how to be able to tell fast If someone is crazy .
 

Bigpapa

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*** Update ***

had a more hearty Discussion with her and apparently this is how she is , moody .

so I am cutting all communication with her , and let her come to me and accept only the good behavior and punish severely the bad one .

apprently the nuke usually is the best solution for this kind of situations
 

flowtheory

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Hey guys ,

I am dealing with an issue at the moment in which would be great if I could get some feedback from someone that is not invested as I am .

so basically the issue I am dealing is with a girl that is playing hard to get , and after she is hot then becomes cold . She even admitted that she is playing hard to get as “ she is not for everyone “ and things along this line .

Sometimes she is really warm and we have a great vibe , and then on purpose she becomes cold and becomes a ***** .

I never really showed that I am affected by this behavior and every time she started behaving this way I just back down and gave her room . Then I would reengage her after a couple of weeks and she would be super warm again .

what is annoying me is that she is behaving like this on purpose , as she admitted that she does this ***** moves on purpose .

the thing that I am missing right now if it there are any other options available besides to drop her .

I know for sure that she is attracted to me based on her behavior and she even admitted this a couple of times , but this behavior of her that she does on purpose started to be quite annoying .

what you guys think is the best move forward without dropping the nuke and just ignore her ?
Essentially what is happening is you’re just enabling her to do the same thing over and over again on repeat. Due to your mentioned lack of options and abundance, with self value/respect to boot.

She’s actively and overtly telling you she’s playing hard to get. So this tells us she’s overtly insecure. So therefore she’s telling you she’s playing games with you to get what she wants on her terms due to her lack of self-security. It keeps you thirsty and the cycle of her being to gain validation for ‘this is just how I am’. You’re in her frame when you agree to her cold behavior as that’s when she can’t own herself.

You posted this to seek solutions to relieve her poor behavior. You can’t. You can only change how YOU deal with HER - actions and responses. The only way to do that is to show yourself that you’re worth more than a woman who will actively be hot and cold. To show yourself you don't need her. If this goes on further you will hemorrhage more your vital energy you could be spending elsewhere on more fulfilling endevours. But the simple act of you being involved in this dramatic dynamic showcases that you don't have any positive drama and passion elsewhere in your current reality outside of her. Which is fine, but needs to be changed so you're more able to discern positive qualities for you to lead a more fulfilling life.

Like @stormrider said, you’re placing her on a pedestal, and looking for her to validate you by ‘getting’ her. Ditch that pedestal. And absolve your current notion of 'getting her', because right now she isn't 'getting you'. It will get you nowhere except in deep sh!t down the line, with yourself, world view, and circumstances.

My advice is to enjoy her when she’s warm, open, being sexual and fun, and the second she acts cold due to her petty games because ‘that’s how she is’ - LOL FFS - show her you don’t want that and walk away from that moment and go get busy with something more rewarding (hobbies, goals, gym, painting, video games, etc). She will snap out of it quickly, or bail altogether (if she's just using you to validate her insecure self) because she sees you self-validate and knows your worth. It’s a win either way. Don’t put up with sub-par behavior, because you’re essentially communicating to yourself and others that you will eat sh!t just because a woman’s serving it.
 
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Bigpapa

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Essentially why is happening is you’re just enabling her to do the same thing over and over again on repeat. Due to your mentioned lack of options and abundance, with self value/respect to boot.

She’s actively and overtly telling you she’s playing hard to get. So this tells us she’s overtly insecure. So therefore she’s telling you she’s playing games with you to get what she wants on her terms due to her lack of self security. It keeps you thirsty and the cycle of her being to gain validation for ‘this is just how I am’. You’re in her frame when you onset to her cold behaviour as that’s when she can’t own herself.

You posted this to seek for solutions to relieve her poor behaviour. You can’t. You can only change how YOU deal with HER - actions and responses. The only way to do that is to show yourself that you’re worth more than a woman who will actively be hot and cold. If this goes on further you will hemorrhage more your vital energy you could be spending elsewhere.

Like @stormrider said, you’re placing her on a pedestal, and looking for her to validate you by ‘getting’ her. Ditch that pedestal. It will get you nowhere except in deep sh!t down the line, with yourself, world view, and circumstances.

My advice is to enjoy her when she’s warm, open, being sexual and fun, and the second she acts cold due to her petty games because ‘that’s how she is’ - LOL FFS - show her you don’t want that and walk away from that moment and go get busy with something more rewarding (hobbies, goals, gym, painting, video games, etc). She will snap out of it quickly, or bail altogether because she sees you self-validate and know your worth. It’s a win either way. Don’t put up with sub-par behaviour, because you’re essentially communicating to yourself and others that you will eat sh!t just because a woman’s serving it.
Golden
 

soulforge

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Essentially what is happening is you’re just enabling her to do the same thing over and over again on repeat. Due to your mentioned lack of options and abundance, with self value/respect to boot.

She’s actively and overtly telling you she’s playing hard to get. So this tells us she’s overtly insecure. So therefore she’s telling you she’s playing games with you to get what she wants on her terms due to her lack of self-security. It keeps you thirsty and the cycle of her being to gain validation for ‘this is just how I am’. You’re in her frame when you agree to her cold behavior as that’s when she can’t own herself.

You posted this to seek solutions to relieve her poor behavior. You can’t. You can only change how YOU deal with HER - actions and responses. The only way to do that is to show yourself that you’re worth more than a woman who will actively be hot and cold. To show yourself you don't need her. If this goes on further you will hemorrhage more your vital energy you could be spending elsewhere on more fulfilling endevours. But the simple act of you being involved in this dramatic dynamic showcases that you don't have any positive drama and passion elsewhere in your current reality outside of her. Which is fine, but needs to be changed so you're more able to discern positive qualities for you to lead a more fulfilling life.

Like @stormrider said, you’re placing her on a pedestal, and looking for her to validate you by ‘getting’ her. Ditch that pedestal. And absolve your current notion of 'getting her', because right now she isn't 'getting you'. It will get you nowhere except in deep sh!t down the line, with yourself, world view, and circumstances.

My advice is to enjoy her when she’s warm, open, being sexual and fun, and the second she acts cold due to her petty games because ‘that’s how she is’ - LOL FFS - show her you don’t want that and walk away from that moment and go get busy with something more rewarding (hobbies, goals, gym, painting, video games, etc). She will snap out of it quickly, or bail altogether (if she's just using you to validate her insecure self) because she sees you self-validate and knows your worth. It’s a win either way. Don’t put up with sub-par behavior, because you’re essentially communicating to yourself and others that you will eat sh!t just because a woman’s serving it.

I like this most.. It makes a ****t ton of sense.. I have had a very similar situation myself recently.. From hot to cold..

And game playing.. However in my case my game was strong enough for a her to be sukking me off once or twice a week.

However I won't allow myself to fall into her frame.. My plan is to detach.. She either cones to me and behaves in a reasonable manner.. Or I next her by giving zero attention and no contact
 

soulforge

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I would say she just wants you as an orbiter and an ego boost. Interested girls don't confuse you. Girls who are a waste of time will. But if you still aren't sure here is how to tell.

Stop re-engaging her. Go no contact. 100% nothing. No text no phone no text no social media. Nothing. No replies no likes no answering messages nothing.

You pull the plug even before she goes cold.
If she doesn"'t reach out after a week or two then you have your answer. She was wasting your time.

If she is truly interested she will miss you and reach out. If she doesn't then you cut ties and move on.
I had a very similar situation.. Problem is, she is a work colleague, so impossible to cut her off completely.. I will see her at work on a daily basis, which makes it difficult to create distance.

Same issue, acting hot and cold.. However I did get some sloppy *******s off her last week... Have decided to drop her and focus on other girls.
 

Mauser96

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Here is how you solve 90% of your female problems:

Flaky behavior – stop contacting, walk away.


Slow response/no response to texts – stop contacting, respond only, next day.


Mind Games – stop contacting, walk away


Low interest - stop contacting, walk away.


Loss of interest in sex – withdraw attention, stop contacting, get “busy” and scarce.


Not available to go on a date and doesn't offer an alternative ? - stop contacting, walk away.
 

Glassguy

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Women who want to fvck you don't play hard to get.
Women with high interest don't play hard to get.
Women who see you as valuable don't play hard to get.
Women who want to submit to you don't play hard to get.

Low/no interest, attention seekers, validation seekers, women who see you as lower value, etc.....that's who plays hard to get because they have no intentions of you actually getting what you want from them (sex).

First sign of "Playing hard to get" should mean you leave the door open and walk away. Quickly.
 

soulforge

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Women who want to fvck you don't play hard to get.
Women with high interest don't play hard to get.
Women who see you as valuable don't play hard to get.
Women who want to submit to you don't play hard to get.

Low/no interest, attention seekers, validation seekers, women who see you as lower value, etc.....that's who plays hard to get because they have no intentions of you actually getting what you want from them (sex).

First sign of "Playing hard to get" should mean you leave the door open and walk away. Quickly.

I agree with Glass guy, it's a wasted effort.. Walk away. However sometimes the interest level can peak once you starve her of all attention.

I have this exact type of situation where she flaked twice and doesn't text much.

However she gave me a blow job this gone Friday? How does that fit with low interest?

A girl with low interest would surely avoid any sexual activity with you.
 
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LARaiders85

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I agree with Glass guy, it's a wasted effort.. Walk away. However sometimes the interest level can peak once you starve her of all attention.

I have this exact type of situation where she flaked twice and doesn't text much.

However she gave me a blow job this gone Friday? How does that fit with low interest?

A girl with low interest would surely avoid any sexual activity with you.
Attention wh0res do the minimum sex necessary to maximize attention. Someone who is high interest does the maximum sex regardless of attention.
 

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soulforge

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Attention wh0res do the minimum sex necessary to maximize attention. Someone who is high interest does the maximum sex regardless of attention.
Fair point... I think they want to keep that attention going.. I simply emptied my load into her mouth.. And moved the fuk on..
 

Bigpapa

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I do not think that when a girl plays hard to get she has low interest level in you , but neither maximum . She is somehow on the fence :)

so the strategy here is either to find a way to be the one dominant , either to put her in an emotional rollercoaster , either to deprive her of your attention and let her think herself how much she actually is interested in you
 

dude99

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I had a very similar situation.. Problem is, she is a work colleague, so impossible to cut her off completely.. I will see her at work on a daily basis, which makes it difficult to create distance.

Same issue, acting hot and cold.. However I did get some sloppy *******s off her last week... Have decided to drop her and focus on other girls.
In this situation you act 100% professional with her. Zero flirting, zero compliments, zero attention towards her. You discuss work and work related topics only.
 
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