"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Platform Decay

Deep Dish

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I recently learned about a theory of platform decay. It applies to social media, but also Amazon, Spotify, and ride sharing apps.

First, a platform is good to users, to draw people in.

Then, once enough people are locked in, they will screw over users to cater to business users. Once businesses are locked in, they will screw over business users to seize all value for itself.

Then, the platform dies.

Cory Doctorow, who calls this ensh*ttification, has said this is the inevitable consequence of a dual buyer and seller market.

This just happened with Spotify which now will not pay royalties to musicians who are deemed to not generate enough listens, screwing over small musicians.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Serenity

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It's the consequence of practically being a monopoly. What alternative is there? There are competitors, but they can't really compete.

For social media an alternative platform is worthless if their friends and followers aren't even on it. On Spotify users won't switch because no other platform can offer that much music, the artists won't switch because no other platform can offer that many listeners. YouTube also has this problem, viewers stay because that's where their favorite content creators are, the content creators stay because that's where their viewers are.

What all these platforms have in common is that they don't produce anything, they just facilitate a very convenient way for buyers and seller to meet in one place, while leeching a cut from everyone. Their entire value lies in a lot of people using their service, which is also why it's near impossible to compete. It's a catch-22, to realistically compete you need a ton of users to give value to your platform, but you need value on your platform to get a ton of users.
 

SW15

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Caleb Jones (Alpha Male 2.0, formerly Blackdragon) had a similar model discussing platform decay with online dating platforms.

 

Serenity

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It's just a new form of planned obsolescence. Capitalism at it's finest.
I would say it's the opposite of planned obsolescence. Physical products need to become unusable after a time to motivate the customer to get the new model. Online platforms seek to do the opposite, keep you using it for as long as possible while they milk as much value as they can out of you.

In most cases you're not even the customer on these platforms, you're the product to be sold.
 

The Duke

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So what happened to Myspace? Does the decay theory apply?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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