So Ive been doing well the last few months thanks to all the fantastic advice on here which really works, spinning plates, genuinely not giving a fvck, doing everything right and having a great time.
However, the fact I'm posting a thread means ive probably already lost with the girl I'm about to discuss.
Been seeing her three months and after many girls who were fun in bed but nothing more, and the nice feeling of power when you really don't care about them or whether they stick around, it was refreshing when she turned out to be a bit more than a warm hole. Gradually realised she is cool, great company and we are on the same wavelength generally.
Date generally consist of something fun then back to mine for great sex. Her interest level couldn't be higher, or so I thought, cooks for me, does anything i want, seems to adore me, tells all her friends and even family about me, initiates all messages, affectionate, no drama etc etc.
A month or so I start to realise she is falling for me, and she begins dropping subtle hints ... We both have others, but first she says her other recent sex has left her feeling empty and realised I'm all she needs, I satisfy her completely..I'm waiting for her to ask for more and stay firm, being fun and sexing her good. So last week she gives in and instigates the chat.
Except it all went a bit weird at that point. She says she wants to be my main girl, my main source of sex, shes doesnt mind if I have the odd random bang (probably not true) but doesn't like me looking for someone better than her, and she doesn't want anyone else to screw...but she does need to be free to kiss others, "probably" just girls, because she likes to be free and is bisexual.
This wasn't how I'd expected the conversation to go and could feel all the power I'd attained moving across the table into her lap. She went on to say the last guy she really liked dumped her because she insisted on kissing other people when she was out and she was really sad about that as she really liked him. She was making it clear that this wasn't up for negotiation...she wants a quasi-open relationship where she (and I) can kiss other people, but only..she said...when drunk and in public eg a bar or club. She says she doesn't see kissing as sexual and is always surprised when people expect it to lead to more. I think she just genuinely think of kissing as something fun and harmless.
So turns out her interest isn't as high as id assumed! Given the choice, shed choose random hookups over keeping me around.
There's nothing actually wrong with this situation, but it feels like she's calling the shots, dictating the rules, and basically saying I'm not good enough for her and my ego is bruised. Also I'm going to admit to some oneitis here.
Since then she's told me she kissed two "people" .. no gender specified, and they weren't as good as me. One gave her a lovebird which she showed me while telling me she'd missed me and was annoyed they'd bitten her neck. wtf. Laughed it off, but is she taking the p1ss or what??
Everything else about her is perfect and I really do think she is crazy about be, but at the same time if she was that interested, shed choose not to do this. So I realise I've made a mistake somewhere. So how to proceed?
Continue, ignoring her openly getting off with other people when she's drunk, and the fact that eventually this will probably lead to more?
Continue, but tell her I don't want to hear about it (weak)?
Continue but also casually bring up my own bangs and makeouts?
Next her?
Feel free to crucify me, I need some no nonsense analysis from the SS community. :/
However, the fact I'm posting a thread means ive probably already lost with the girl I'm about to discuss.
Been seeing her three months and after many girls who were fun in bed but nothing more, and the nice feeling of power when you really don't care about them or whether they stick around, it was refreshing when she turned out to be a bit more than a warm hole. Gradually realised she is cool, great company and we are on the same wavelength generally.
Date generally consist of something fun then back to mine for great sex. Her interest level couldn't be higher, or so I thought, cooks for me, does anything i want, seems to adore me, tells all her friends and even family about me, initiates all messages, affectionate, no drama etc etc.
A month or so I start to realise she is falling for me, and she begins dropping subtle hints ... We both have others, but first she says her other recent sex has left her feeling empty and realised I'm all she needs, I satisfy her completely..I'm waiting for her to ask for more and stay firm, being fun and sexing her good. So last week she gives in and instigates the chat.
Except it all went a bit weird at that point. She says she wants to be my main girl, my main source of sex, shes doesnt mind if I have the odd random bang (probably not true) but doesn't like me looking for someone better than her, and she doesn't want anyone else to screw...but she does need to be free to kiss others, "probably" just girls, because she likes to be free and is bisexual.
This wasn't how I'd expected the conversation to go and could feel all the power I'd attained moving across the table into her lap. She went on to say the last guy she really liked dumped her because she insisted on kissing other people when she was out and she was really sad about that as she really liked him. She was making it clear that this wasn't up for negotiation...she wants a quasi-open relationship where she (and I) can kiss other people, but only..she said...when drunk and in public eg a bar or club. She says she doesn't see kissing as sexual and is always surprised when people expect it to lead to more. I think she just genuinely think of kissing as something fun and harmless.
So turns out her interest isn't as high as id assumed! Given the choice, shed choose random hookups over keeping me around.
There's nothing actually wrong with this situation, but it feels like she's calling the shots, dictating the rules, and basically saying I'm not good enough for her and my ego is bruised. Also I'm going to admit to some oneitis here.
Since then she's told me she kissed two "people" .. no gender specified, and they weren't as good as me. One gave her a lovebird which she showed me while telling me she'd missed me and was annoyed they'd bitten her neck. wtf. Laughed it off, but is she taking the p1ss or what??
Everything else about her is perfect and I really do think she is crazy about be, but at the same time if she was that interested, shed choose not to do this. So I realise I've made a mistake somewhere. So how to proceed?
Continue, ignoring her openly getting off with other people when she's drunk, and the fact that eventually this will probably lead to more?
Continue, but tell her I don't want to hear about it (weak)?
Continue but also casually bring up my own bangs and makeouts?
Next her?
Feel free to crucify me, I need some no nonsense analysis from the SS community. :/