scrouds
Master Don Juan
Now is a good time to get some friends if you don't have any. Smith and Wesson, Ruger, Kimber, Glock, all come to mind, and many more
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Yeah, at least be prepared in the event something happens, which I doubt.3countriesPlan said:Protect yourself -- get some mace at least and stay vigilant not cause you are scared but cause losers have nothing to lose. Then, keep records of all the correspondance you have with him and her if you can keep it. Then if you are really on top of the game you can make a call to your lawyer and ask what you should do that would benefit you in a court of law if anything were to pop off.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Aristippus said:you should never flirt with married women . . . . It's not right...
Scrouds, do you understand why Aristippus wins hands down? Because you recognize that there's a question of moral right and wrong, and phrase your response in a defensive manner -- you understand that your position will be strongly attacked. OTOH, Aristippus proffers the rule without hesitation or doubt. Even if I had no moral compass, I'd recognize the difference between someone talking from a position of strength, and one of weakness.scrouds said:You didn't do anything wrong flirting with a married chick
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
why should I accept your version of moralityDown Low said:Hmm. Which one sounds correct?
Scrouds, do you understand why Aristippus wins hands down? Because you recognize that there's a question of moral right and wrong, and phrase your response in a defensive manner -- you understand that your position will be strongly attacked. OTOH, Aristippus proffers the rule without hesitation or doubt. Even if I had no moral compass, I'd recognize the difference between someone talking from a position of strength, and one of weakness.
"Version" of morality? Morality isn't some kind of buffet from which you may pick and choose whatever language and behavior to use in front of children, old people, women, etc. Your very language tells us that you clearly understand that you are pandering moral degeneracy.scrouds said:why should I accept your version of morality
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I've never bought into the "harmless flirting" concept. We are emotional creatures, and a harmless flirt today can easily go over the edge when one feels unappreciated, slighted, unloved, fill in anything else.zekko said:I've found that most married women will flirt a bit, and I have several married male friends who are huge shameless over the top flirts including overtly sexual remarks. Rollo has recommended flirting while you are married, and especially in front of your wife.
I don't think a little harmless flirting is a bad thing, for either gender, but there is definitely a line you don't cross. Whether or not the OP crossed that line is difficult to say since we don't have all the details.
Can you live there... will you live there with me?Atom Smasher said:I've never bought into the "harmless flirting" concept. We are emotional creatures, and a harmless flirt today can easily go over the edge when one feels unappreciated, slighted, unloved, fill in anything else.
That "line you don't cross" will be dictated by the emotion of the moment (for both genders) and can be as mercurial as emotions themselves. It's a dangerous place to be in.
yeah i'm with you.Atom Smasher said:I've never bought into the "harmless flirting" concept. We are emotional creatures, and a harmless flirt today can easily go over the edge when one feels unappreciated, slighted, unloved, fill in anything else.
That "line you don't cross" will be dictated by the emotion of the moment (for both genders) and can be as mercurial as emotions themselves. It's a dangerous place to be in.
Agreed. Once you actually realize that most men out there are just venting their emotional insecurities, it nearly becomes irrelevant. I would have just ignored his message.( . )( . ) said:Betas gonna beta.
It's true these losers can sometimes be quite dangerous when they snap, most of the time they are kittens though. Personally I would never have apologized.
Yes. I feel that a man's projected "suaveness" is sufficient to let a man's spouse know that he is in demand. It's like having a saber but never needing to rattle it.backbreaker said:yeah i'm with you.
I mean, if i walked into say the mall and saw some dude chatting up my wife and she was being polite and talking back, i have zero issue with that.
if she's all out flirting, playing touchy feely, making innuendos, she can harmlessly find her a new place to live.
it's a blanet sign of disrespect.
and "they started it" is not a viable excuse. I get hit on and you learn how to deflect. "I appreciate the compliment but I'm happily married"
I think there is a fine line between knowning you can flirt with girls and actually flirting with girls. There are plenty girls, well i don't want to sound like Hugh heffner or anything but i have an idea of if it came to it how i could flirt with and probably get a date if i had to today. but i dont' actually firt wtih them beucase that's disrespectful to my wife.
i spun plates with the best of them but once you decide to get in a real relationship you need to end that. that's how i feel. I'm a conversationalist, but i don't flirt or even let situations become escalated.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.