Tails
Senior Don Juan
whenever i get a girls number, i never call. and no, i'm not scared or nervous, i just hate talking on the phone. or i might just be lazy. anyone else have the same problem?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
phone phobia. anyone else?
- Thread starter Tails
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Hollowpoint
Master Don Juan
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nah, i'm just scared and nervous!
Kineti[C]harm
Master Don Juan
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You are getting more annoying for every post you make.
Tails
Senior Don Juan
that's what i'm here for 
SxyPlayette
Don Juan
sure if thats what u call it these days
that so.. doesn't make any sense. No.1 U'd only ask a girl for her number if u thought she was cute and wanted something or no2. u just wanted to boost u're confidence & u'll throw it. But if u keep it & u don't call her u're chicken or u weren't really interested cuz u probably didn't get a hot girls number. Its that simple.
that so.. doesn't make any sense. No.1 U'd only ask a girl for her number if u thought she was cute and wanted something or no2. u just wanted to boost u're confidence & u'll throw it. But if u keep it & u don't call her u're chicken or u weren't really interested cuz u probably didn't get a hot girls number. Its that simple.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Jango_Xavier
Senior Don Juan
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Well i dont have that problem but, i did get a chicks number on saturday but, i dont wanna ring up cause i dont remember if she was hot or ugly i was way pissed
SxyPlayette
Don Juan
just call them if they sound cool meet them, if not stop calling. If u meet them and their not u're type be nice, go into friends mode and hopefully u'll meet her friends and she'll find someone else. Its a win win situation, and its far better than nothing.
Kineti[C]harm
Master Don Juan
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Re: sure if thats what u call it these days
This is a forum where we try to be ADULT and write in an ADULT MANNER thus stop writing "u", "no2", "u're" or any other stupid fcktard kidsabbreviations before I hunt you down and put you in jail with sexoffenders. Thank you very much.
RedKnight04
Senior Don Juan
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Wow.
Can you be that anal?
I myself hate anal, but anyhew I feel that if you use "U" instead of "you"...you don't have to be arrested and taken to prison.
On the otherhand some of the terms used are a bit bad to use.
Can't we all just get along? ...ok ok that is a little old. Its rodney king come on now!
Now, Tails - heres the dizzle.
I used to get that stomach aching ball breaking feeling that I was going to screw something up once and get on the phone and something will happen to ruin it.
I got over this by simply overcoming my anxiety and just said you know what I gotta do this sometime to get to the next LEVEL.
Trust me, once you get on the phone it is NOTHING like your anticipating.
Hope this helps.
PEACE
I'm not great talking to chicks on the phone, till I get to know them. I think its the same for a lot of people, because your not looking at each other face to face you have to rely on words to make the conversation work. (i.e. no smiling/body language).
Strange really because I enjoy talking on the phone generally, I think its just fear of failure again I'm afraid.
Strange really because I enjoy talking on the phone generally, I think its just fear of failure again I'm afraid.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
showtime17
Don Juan
Yeah I dont like talking to on the phone either. However one of the reasons might be that I always get the answering machine and when I call again, once again I get the answering machine.
The main reason why I don't like talking on the phone with a chick for the first time is because for some ****in reason my voice sounds a little high pitched on the phone and not the same as it does in person (people tell me this all the time). I have to live with it though there's no way around that for me and I'm not going to fake my phone voice by making it sound deeper.
Sounds like your main problem is the fear of how they will react. That's cause you don't know them well enough yet. Keep the inital phone calls brief and light.. make plans to meet up and be around them IN PERSON so you can get used to them and feel more comfortable in person, that way you won't give much a **** about talking to them on the phone. Don't think before you call the first time either because that has the potential to screw you up even more. Go with the flow it's really simple once you get the ball rolling I promise. Most phone calls are just about bull**** anyway. Have some balls and go after that puss. Rejection don't hurt that much wtf do you have to be afraid of?
Sounds like your main problem is the fear of how they will react. That's cause you don't know them well enough yet. Keep the inital phone calls brief and light.. make plans to meet up and be around them IN PERSON so you can get used to them and feel more comfortable in person, that way you won't give much a **** about talking to them on the phone. Don't think before you call the first time either because that has the potential to screw you up even more. Go with the flow it's really simple once you get the ball rolling I promise. Most phone calls are just about bull**** anyway. Have some balls and go after that puss. Rejection don't hurt that much wtf do you have to be afraid of?
SxyPlayette
Don Juan
Re: Re: sure if thats what u call it these days
Btw I got into college at 16 and I'll be out nxt may and then I'm going into law school, how about "u" smarty pants?
"u" know what apart from the fact that u appear to quite dumb, I've been a member of this community since 02 so if a *face like u thinks he can just come out of no where and start cussing me for no reason, because I'm trying to give a guy considering u are here and u're not getting any. pls go and * u'reself.
Btw I got into college at 16 and I'll be out nxt may and then I'm going into law school, how about "u" smarty pants?
Kineti[C]harm
Master Don Juan
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Re: Re: Re: sure if thats what u call it these days
I don't care how long you've been in this community really since you're obviously an ignorant kid. Try harder! When I think about it you actually sound and write like a girl. One of those tryhard girls that require attention and hates criticism, one of those that gets all hyped up if they get anything in life right. How's that working out for you?
You don't even write coherent sentences.... I have no need to go into an argument over this with you since I'm clearly several levels above you in intelligence. I'm happy for you, law-school is not bad at all. It's pretty boring though and actually not even hard, it's all about remembering crap.
I don't care how long you've been in this community really since you're obviously an ignorant kid. Try harder! When I think about it you actually sound and write like a girl. One of those tryhard girls that require attention and hates criticism, one of those that gets all hyped up if they get anything in life right. How's that working out for you?
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
_XT_
Don Juan
I don't mind talking to chicks on the phone, I keep it shorter than 20 minutes. But I hate it when all I get is the damn answer phone, you leave them a message and instead of calling back they try to initiate a text message conversation instead.... grrrrrr