"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Phone game

vorbis

Senior Don Juan
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Ok lately, I feel talking to girls on the phone is killing me. In January, I got 4 phone numbers. (It was my first month over here. Still getting settled) Out of these, only one led to a date. 2 of the others though sounded enthuastic in person but got distant on the phone.

I made a mistake with the first girl in not making definite plans. She seemed up for drinks but wasn't sure if she was off on the Friday night. I foolishly told her to ring me if she was free rather than just picking a bar and getting her to ring me if she was working. She never called and didn't respond to a voicemail I left the following week.

The second girl actually made plans to go out on a Friday night but the phone convo itself was rather stilited and we didn't seem to have much rapport. She left a voicemail on a Friday saying she wanted to reschedule due to a family emergency. I left her a voicemail suggesting a time the following week. She never rang me back and also didn't answer a second voicemail a few days later.

Basically what should you be trying to achieve on the phone? I find it hard to pick up topics of conversation on the phone? I usually just try to set up a date and leave it at that.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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foomee

Senior Don Juan
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When you're calling up a girl, you're doing it for a reason. Quickly fulfill that reason and get it over with. Make quick chat, make her laugh a little, then arrange a date or get together. Guys call people for a typical reason, to ask something, to hang out, anything... you never see a guy just calling to say hi.
 

wheelin&dealin

Master Don Juan
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1 for 4 ain't that bad. The more girls you ask out, the more dates you get. The better you get at gauging interest levels, the higher your success rate. Keep mingling with the ladies and you'll be on fire in no time.
 

Warlord

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Originally posted by foomee
When you're calling up a girl, you're doing it for a reason. Quickly fulfill that reason and get it over with. Make quick chat, make her laugh a little, then arrange a date or get together. Guys call people for a typical reason, to ask something, to hang out, anything... you never see a guy just calling to say hi.
I agree and disagree with what you said. When a girl gives you her number, she wants you to ask her out on a date.

HOWEVER. Rapport is also important, sometimes saying hi here and there increases or decreases interest (depending on how the conversation went) There is nothing wrong with talking about nothing for 10 min. If it went good, a future date or even a first date chance increases from 50% to 75%.

You seem to forget that girls and guys may have similar logic, but they do not operate like guys do. Guys = Yes/No. Girls = Ehhh depends how much I like the person(s) or what I can get out of it.
 

satyriasis

Don Juan
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Originally posted by Warlord
When a girl gives you her number, she wants you to ask her out on a date.
so your saying every girl that gives there # is expecting a date straight up front?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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