Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Phone Call Game?

Dam44

Don Juan
Joined
May 6, 2020
Messages
193
Reaction score
51
So there's this girl from my college I'm interested in. But the thing is she's not active on social media... Meaning I have to resort to phone calls.

I'm just curious, is there really any 'phone call game' I should follow. I've called her once and the vibe's great. But will calling her on the phone lead to any positive results? because even if I set up a date, it's until after lockdown before that happens.

What do you guys think? Should I go on with calling her? And how do I do it best.
 

Visionist

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 27, 2016
Messages
764
Reaction score
746
Age
32
If you have to wait till lockdown to meet with her, then don't call too soon or often. A call can be fun for building vibes but its main purpose is to arrange a meeting.

What does she do? Call at a time when she's probably not doing much. Don't call during those hours when most people are out partying like a Saturday evening, unless you wanna play the same "make a call in a crowded place so she can hear what a busy social life you have" game that women like to play.

If she doesn't answer, don't bother leaving voicemail. If she wants to talk to you she'll call you back or text you.

Always leave her on a high note, and always be the one to end the conversation. Don't talk for too long either. Half an hour is too long IMO, even if you can't meet yet.
 

Dam44

Don Juan
Joined
May 6, 2020
Messages
193
Reaction score
51
If you have to wait till lockdown to meet with her, then don't call too soon or often. A call can be fun for building vibes but its main purpose is to arrange a meeting.

What does she do? Call at a time when she's probably not doing much. Don't call during those hours when most people are out partying like a Saturday evening, unless you wanna play the same "make a call in a crowded place so she can hear what a busy social life you have" game that women like to play.

If she doesn't answer, don't bother leaving voicemail. If she wants to talk to you she'll call you back or text you.

Always leave her on a high note, and always be the one to end the conversation. Don't talk for too long either. Half an hour is too long IMO, even if you can't meet yet.
NOTED
I don't think she's doing anything really, everyone is just home cos schools are still closed. So calling around afternoon or evenings will be okay, I think
 

Igetit!

Moderator
Joined
Jul 13, 2008
Messages
2,737
Reaction score
665
Location
The United State of Texas
So there's this girl from my college I'm interested in. But the thing is she's not active on social media... Meaning I have to resort to phone calls.

I'm just curious, is there really any 'phone call game' I should follow. I've called her once and the vibe's great.
Man,I hate to say this.....but you kinda already screwed up here.

You say you called this chick once already and the vibe was great. Well that's fine and all,but my question is.....

What was THE PURPOSE of the phone call? What was the point? Also,what did you two talk about?


But will calling her on the phone lead to any positive results? because even if I set up a date, it's until after lockdown before that happens.
Ok....this is where your error kinda comes into play......

You said even if you set up a date with this girl,it won't take place until AFTER the lockdown is over.

You said,"Even if you set up a date". Soo......I take it you DIDN'T TRY TO SET UP ONE on the first phonecall,which hearkens back to my first questions of what was it you two talked about...and what was the point/purpose of those calls. Now.....

You made a HUGE ERROR here. You have plans to make a date for an UNKNOWN time......who knows when the lockdown will be over. And I'm assuming your plan is to use "phone game" to keep her interest up until the lockdown concludes? Not gonna work. You can't get her interest high,then "press pause" to keep it there for the next 3 months (or whenever) until the lockdown is over,then press "unpause" when you have a SPECIFIC TIME for you two to go out.

If you don't know WHEN you two can go out,you'd been better off not contacting her at all. You can't pencil attraction in on a calendar for a specific date. All that's going to happen now is one of two things......

1: You ARE going to get friendzoned,or...
2: Her current level of interest is going to fizzle out.

You need to take advantage of a chick's interest AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. It's like opening up a can of coke.....you wait too long,it goes flat,the "fizz" will be gone.


So you can do whatever you want......but NO "GAME" is going to keep her interest high forever. No game is going to freeze her interest at it's current level until the lockdown ends.


If you couldn't provide a specific time and date to go out,you shouldn't have contacted her at all.
 

Dam44

Don Juan
Joined
May 6, 2020
Messages
193
Reaction score
51
Man,I hate to say this.....but you kinda already screwed up here.

You say you called this chick once already and the vibe was great. Well that's fine and all,but my question is.....

What was THE PURPOSE of the phone call? What was the point? Also,what did you two talk about?




Ok....this is where your error kinda comes into play......

You said even if you set up a date with this girl,it won't take place until AFTER the lockdown is over.

You said,"Even if you set up a date". Soo......I take it you DIDN'T TRY TO SET UP ONE on the first phonecall,which hearkens back to my first questions of what was it you two talked about...and what was the point/purpose of those calls. Now.....

You made a HUGE ERROR here. You have plans to make a date for an UNKNOWN time......who knows when the lockdown will be over. And I'm assuming your plan is to use "phone game" to keep her interest up until the lockdown concludes? Not gonna work. You can't get her interest high,then "press pause" to keep it there for the next 3 months (or whenever) until the lockdown is over,then press "unpause" when you have a SPECIFIC TIME for you two to go out.

If you don't know WHEN you two can go out,you'd been better off not contacting her at all. You can't pencil attraction in on a calendar for a specific date. All that's going to happen now is one of two things......

1: You ARE going to get friendzoned,or...
2: Her current level of interest is going to fizzle out.

You need to take advantage of a chick's interest AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. It's like opening up a can of coke.....you wait too long,it goes flat,the "fizz" will be gone.


So you can do whatever you want......but NO "GAME" is going to keep her interest high forever. No game is going to freeze her interest at it's current level until the lockdown ends.


If you couldn't provide a specific time and date to go out,you shouldn't have contacted her at all.
Wow, thanks. I see I'm really clueless... Lol

I called because it's been over 3 months school's being closed. I asked how she was, how the lockdown was going, what she was up too, talked about some exams we would have written if there was no Corona Virus

She was asking about me too, what I'd been up too etc. But she sounded really interested and eager to talk.

I thought calling her would help me create some connection before asking her out

Yes I see my mistake now! Trying to use phone game to keep her interested.

I'll take advantage of her interest and ask her out when next I call (since I've contacted her already) cos I don't want it to fizzle out.

Is this better?
 

image

"If you love women, you must read the SoSuave Guide to Women. It's fantastic!"

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
712
Reaction score
756
A lot of early stage dating can't function within lockdown. Almost anyone in this phase has to pretend there is no lockdown. Invite women over to your place as if there were no pandemic.
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
892
Reaction score
1,178
I've read the above reply's and nah... I think you did everything right. I'll explain....

Before there was social media/internet, we used to send smoke signals (okay, I'm kidding about that part) . Seriously though, it was the phone. Back in high school, some of the best rapport building was done one on one' which wasn't always easy among a crowd of students (and so the phone was a great tool).

You haven't made the mistake of doing phone over-kill (which would desensitize attraction) and you've also not developed into a "phone buddy." Instead, you've gone about it the right way. You've made your presence known, and not appeared overly eager. Despite contradictory advice from the *ahem* 'pros' above, you've laid down excellent groundwork.

The more you attempt to calculate your move(s) , the more focus you'll have on expecting a particular outcome with each event (which usually leads to anxiety and/or disappointment) . Sounds to me that when you were natural (calling her out of the blue and having an unplanned type conversation) that things went smooth.

As the old saying goes... "if it ain't broke, don't fix it".
Dynamics are currently different. It's not as though you can call, set up a date and then immediately get off the phone. Making infrequent calls to build some rapport (especially in this current 'climate') sounds like your best option.
 

Dam44

Don Juan
Joined
May 6, 2020
Messages
193
Reaction score
51
A lot of early stage dating can't function within lockdown. Almost anyone in this phase has to pretend there is no lockdown. Invite women over to your place as if there were no pandemic.
Invite women over? I can't take such a risk

Besides we live in different cities
 

Dam44

Don Juan
Joined
May 6, 2020
Messages
193
Reaction score
51
I've read the above reply's and nah... I think you did everything right. I'll explain....

Before there was social media/internet, we used to send smoke signals (okay, I'm kidding about that part) . Seriously though, it was the phone. Back in high school, some of the best rapport building was done one on one' which wasn't always easy among a crowd of students (and so the phone was a great tool).

You haven't made the mistake of doing phone over-kill (which would desensitize attraction) and you've also not developed into a "phone buddy." Instead, you've gone about it the right way. You've made your presence known, and not appeared overly eager. Despite contradictory advice from the *ahem* 'pros' above, you've laid down excellent groundwork.

The more you attempt to calculate your move(s) , the more focus you'll have on expecting a particular outcome with each event (which usually leads to anxiety and/or disappointment) . Sounds to me that when you were natural (calling her out of the blue and having an unplanned type conversation) that things went smooth.

As the old saying goes... "if it ain't broke, don't fix it".
Dynamics are currently different. It's not as though you can call, set up a date and then immediately get off the phone. Making infrequent calls to build some rapport (especially in this current 'climate') sounds like your best option.
Yes, our conversation was totally spontaneous.

Do you think I should tell her 'we should grab a bite after lockdown' when next we talk on the phone
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
712
Reaction score
756
Invite women over? I can't take such a risk

Besides we live in different cities
You should be attempting to get laid with women in your own city. If this woman is more than 30 minutes away, it's likely not feasible.

Those in the early stages of relationships have to take the risks. This is why the epidemologists are full of shiit and out of touch with the way people live.
 

Igetit!

Moderator
Joined
Jul 13, 2008
Messages
2,737
Reaction score
665
Location
The United State of Texas
If you have to wait till lockdown to meet with her, then don't call too soon or often. A call can be fun for building vibes but its main purpose is to arrange a meeting.
THANK YOU. This is what I want saying in my other post......

The PURPOSE of the call is to arrange a meet/a date. That's why I asked him what was the PURPOSE of his calls.....you CAN'T call a woman just "to talk". There has to be an endgoal,a reason for the call. You can't call just "to chat".


Black Widow Void said:
You haven't made the mistake of doing phone over-kill (which would desensitize attraction) and you've also not developed into a "phone buddy."
I agree. I generally see things from a few steps ahead into the future. It's true he hasn't made the mistakes of becoming a phone buddy or desensitizing her attraction,but my responses were to PREVENT HIM from making them,which,if he goes through with his CURRENT PLAN of using "phone game"......he WILL make those mistakes. He 100%,without a SHADOW OF A DOUBT will make them. You know how I know?


Because we don't know when the lockdown is going to end. So if he starts this phone game plan,he going to call her,what.....once or twice a week for..........what,the next three months? Four months? You think she won't be "de-sensitized" or he done become a "phone buddy" by then? Not to mention the pressure ON HIM to have to somehow come up with new,fun,exciting phone conversation EACH CALL twice a week for the next 3 to 4 months....maybe longer until they can go out. You think he won't done become familiar to her by then?

And once he's become familiar and she's gotten to know him OVER THE PHONE,that'll dampen her interest to meet in person,since she'll already know who it is she's going out with.



Despite contradictory advice from the *ahem* 'pros' above, you've laid down excellent groundwork.
"He's laid excellent groundwork". For what....a new friend? Look at what they talked about.........

"I asked how she was, how the lockdown was going, what she was up too, talked about some exams we would have written if there was no Corona Virus".

He asked her how she was doing....asked her about the lockdown........asked what she's been up to....and talked about their school exams.


That conversation could have taken place between two women who are friends,and/or two men who are buddies,and no one would have thought anything odd was going on. There was NOTHING romantic or sexual there...nothing to indicate interest from either way.

Four months of that and I GUARANTEE YOU.....he's friendzone bound.


I "get it"....there's a lockdown going on. That's a legit reason. The problem is,women's emotions DON'T CARE ABOUT "reason". Her feelings aren't going to care about a lockdown........they only care if they feel chemistry or not. I don't care what type of "game" people suggest.......he IS NOT going to be able to keep her interest sky high through weekly or bi-weekly phone calls for the next 3 or 4 months until lockdown is over....he's just not.
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
892
Reaction score
1,178
Yes, our conversation was totally spontaneous.

Do you think I should tell her 'we should grab a bite after lockdown' when next we talk on the phone
I wish that there was a "one-size-fits-all' answer to women, but we wouldn't be here if the case.

My suggestion is to gauge the phone conversation. As a former radio station account executive (fancy name for ad sales rep) and announcer, I'm here to say that a smile *can* be 'heard' over a phone conversation.

Instead of calling with a game plan, have a chat like before. This time, it might be good to keep it limited (but exciting). If you're getting a good vibe, then absolutely hit her up for getting a bite.

You definitely want to distinguish yourself (no matter how subtle) as a man that recognizes her as a woman. Otherwise, you'll end up (simply by default) defining her and yourself as being androgynous pals.
 

Dam44

Don Juan
Joined
May 6, 2020
Messages
193
Reaction score
51
THANK YOU. This is what I want saying in my other post......

The PURPOSE of the call is to arrange a meet/a date. That's why I asked him what was the PURPOSE of his calls.....you CAN'T call a woman just "to talk". There has to be an endgoal,a reason for the call. You can't call just "to chat".




I agree. I generally see things from a few steps ahead into the future. It's true he hasn't made the mistakes of becoming a phone buddy or desensitizing her attraction,but my responses were to PREVENT HIM from making them,which,if he goes through with his CURRENT PLAN of using "phone game"......he WILL make those mistakes. He 100%,without a SHADOW OF A DOUBT will make them. You know how I know?


Because we don't know when the lockdown is going to end. So if he starts this phone game plan,he going to call her,what.....once or twice a week for..........what,the next three months? Four months? You think she won't be "de-sensitized" or he done become a "phone buddy" by then? Not to mention the pressure ON HIM to have to somehow come up with new,fun,exciting phone conversation EACH CALL twice a week for the next 3 to 4 months....maybe longer until they can go out. You think he won't done become familiar to her by then?

And once he's become familiar and she's gotten to know him OVER THE PHONE,that'll dampen her interest to meet in person,since she'll already know who it is she's going out with.





"He's laid excellent groundwork". For what....a new friend? Look at what they talked about.........

"I asked how she was, how the lockdown was going, what she was up too, talked about some exams we would have written if there was no Corona Virus".

He asked her how she was doing....asked her about the lockdown........asked what she's been up to....and talked about their school exams.


That conversation could have taken place between two women who are friends,and/or two men who are buddies,and no one would have thought anything odd was going on. There was NOTHING romantic or sexual there...nothing to indicate interest from either way.

Four months of that and I GUARANTEE YOU.....he's friendzone bound.


I "get it"....there's a lockdown going on. That's a legit reason. The problem is,women's emotions DON'T CARE ABOUT "reason". Her feelings aren't going to care about a lockdown........they only care if they feel chemistry or not. I don't care what type of "game" people suggest.......he IS NOT going to be able to keep her interest sky high through weekly or bi-weekly phone calls for the next 3 or 4 months until lockdown is over....he's just not.
Thank you. We don't know how long before the lockdown ends and that pressure part is something I don't want at all

I also do not want to get friendzoned. So what do you suggest now, making some plans on the phone or letting her be until the lockdown ends?

I'm also trying to get her active on WhatsApp. Could this do any good for me
 

Dam44

Don Juan
Joined
May 6, 2020
Messages
193
Reaction score
51
I wish that there was a "one-size-fits-all' answer to women, but we wouldn't be here if the case.

My suggestion is to gauge the phone conversation. As a former radio station account executive (fancy name for ad sales rep) and announcer, I'm here to say that a smile *can* be 'heard' over a phone conversation.

Instead of calling with a game plan, have a chat like before. This time, it might be good to keep it limited (but exciting). If you're getting a good vibe, then absolutely hit her up for getting a bite.

You definitely want to distinguish yourself (no matter how subtle) as a man that recognizes her as a woman. Otherwise, you'll end up (simply by default) defining her and yourself as being androgynous pals.
I'll try to keep it exciting. Thanks
 

Visionist

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 27, 2016
Messages
764
Reaction score
746
Age
32
Establish a nickname for her early on. One of my students called me and somehow the conversation turned to bananas. Now I only call her Bananas and she loves it.
 

image

Put away your credit card.

You can now read our detailed guide to women and dating for free - Right Here!

Dam44

Don Juan
Joined
May 6, 2020
Messages
193
Reaction score
51
I call her a particular name but I'll think of another one because that nickname is from the three letters of her name. Anyone can think of that
Establish a nickname for her early on. One of my students called me and somehow the conversation turned to bananas. Now I only call her Bananas and she loves it.
 

Lookatu

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 26, 2017
Messages
1,256
Reaction score
1,424
Age
47
Invite women over? I can't take such a risk

Besides we live in different cities
This is already a lost cause. The lockdown and being far apart is definitely not in your favor. Just don't invest too much in talking/time/thinking and if she ends up wanting to visit you, cool. Otherwise, work on meeting other women in your area.
 

Dam44

Don Juan
Joined
May 6, 2020
Messages
193
Reaction score
51
I wish that there was a "one-size-fits-all' answer to women, but we wouldn't be here if the case.

My suggestion is to gauge the phone conversation. As a former radio station account executive (fancy name for ad sales rep) and announcer, I'm here to say that a smile *can* be 'heard' over a phone conversation.

Instead of calling with a game plan, have a chat like before. This time, it might be good to keep it limited (but exciting). If you're getting a good vibe, then absolutely hit her up for getting a bite.

You definitely want to distinguish yourself (no matter how subtle) as a man that recognizes her as a woman. Otherwise, you'll end up (simply by default) defining her and yourself as being androgynous pals.
UPDATE

I called her yesterday. That's the second time I'm calling. She was receptive but I felt the call wasn't that awesome.

However, I tried to get her active on WhatsApp. She obliged.

So I guess I'll hit her up a few times on WhatsApp, probably call her again soon to make soft plans about hanging out, then drop in once in a while till school resumes.

Does this make sense at all?
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
892
Reaction score
1,178
If her decision to use WhatsApp was based on your suggestion, this is a good thing.
You'll better know if this is the case when you reach out to her upon your next attempt.
If she answers when you make the next attempt, I'd recommend going ahead and asking her out. Say something casual like ... we should grab coffee at _____ (insert place that is open and allows seating)
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
892
Reaction score
1,178
Igetit!

I'm totally fine with (in fact I encourage) my opinions to be scrutinized. Sometimes we learn something. However, with your follow up, this was unfortunately not the case.

If I was to grade you - based on your ability to memorize pick up articles, you'd get an "A." And while these articles may sound good on paper, each person and each encounter have their own set of "finger prints." In other words, instead of applying a "one size fits all" answer to individual situations, each situation needs to be evaluated and judged on its outside variables.
 
Top