Paying on dates with girls you're already fvcking?

[xuzaki]

In daygame, I've been inviting girls for a drink near my place. I buy us each one glass of wine, then pull back for sex. The next few dates, they just come over for sex. I'm starting to see one of these girls during the day, and I'm not sure how to handle paying for meals / tickets / etc. I can afford to pay, but I am hesitant because I don't want to slip into provider territory.

Who pays the check, and what are good ways to handle it smoothly? What sh!t tests come up?

 

[marmel75]

In daygame, I've been inviting girls for a drink near my place. I buy us each one glass of wine, then pull back for sex. The next few dates, they just come over for sex. I'm starting to see one of these girls during the day, and I'm not sure how to handle paying for meals / tickets / etc. I can afford to pay, but I am hesitant because I don't want to slip into provider territory.

Who pays the check, and what are good ways to handle it smoothly? What sh!t tests come up?

"Provider territory" happens prior to sex bro.
This is a complete misguided view you have.

In short it doesnt matter. If you feel like "rewarding" her for her actions then do so. If you want to split it then do so. If you want to get her to pay for it all then I'd say you are probably an ass but do so.

 

[Spaz]

Is it me who only notices that women who genuinely enjoys a man's company would oftentimes offer to pay for the drinks, food, tickets and sometimes lavish you with gifts ?

 

[sosousage]

im paying on our dates for condoms yes but i think they should buy some too

 

[Von]

In daygame, I've been inviting girls for a drink near my place. I buy us each one glass of wine, then pull back for sex. The next few dates, they just come over for sex. I'm starting to see one of these girls during the day, and I'm not sure how to handle paying for meals / tickets / etc. I can afford to pay, but I am hesitant because I don't want to slip into provider territory.

Who pays the check, and what are good ways to handle it smoothly? What sh!t tests come up?

Gotta say....

If you pay before deeds: you getting in provider territory

If you pay after deeds: you getting in rewarder territory.

If you have lasting plate or dating: you will get in provider territory.

It's how you start the dating that set the patterns in my experience. If the girl used to have you pay/provide free date. It's hard to change the patterns, especially if she likes you more and more (hence lasting more more).

My experience is always split bills until we start having "sex" or getting into a LTR, than in public I pay. In LTR, we split the expenses of living together.

So follow how you started cause you get her used to a pattern and these patterns become her confort zone in your dynamic. To change a dynamic and confort zone is hard.

My LTR payed her parts for everything and reimbursed me when I had to foot it sometimes when we started dating (everything was split even trips and diner). Now I pay for everything when going out in public but she contribute to the housing

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Reward good behavior. She is giving you sex. Furthermore she is willing to come to you for at home sex dates, which cost next to nothing. Pay for dates with her. You don't have to be lavish. A coffee or ice cream costs very little. It's the gentlemanly gesture that matters.

If she is into you in time she will offer to pick up the tab on occasion. If she makes you dinner she has probably bought the items to cook for you. She may surprise you with gifts, etc.

When you refuse to pay for dates (blue pill, red pill, whatever) you are showing yourself as stingy or cheapskate.

Stingy is a VERY unattractive trait. I am a generous person. I expect to date men who are similarly generous and I also expect the man to fulfill a traditionally male role. That means taking initiative and paying for dates most of the time.

Women who think well of themselves will typically have similar expectations as mine.

Don't be cheap. It reflects poorly on you, especially if you can afford it.

 

[BeExcellent]

Never tried managing a rotation, and what that does to your finances.

Women cost money. Days out to London, or Washington DC, or whatever to do really fun stuff can cost very good money. Not every girl gets that treatment, because it's not even possible.

Just like with weekends, you prioritise and put things where they are warranted based on good judgement. Not based on "being a gentleman".

A guy with rising standards through options, simply a woman turning up at your place willing to have sex with you doesn't warrant your cash as much. You start to judge whether she brought anything with her, or whether she just expected to raid your cupboards. Etc.

And you can tell really fast who is a mooch and who isn't. Doesn't take months.

I know many men who "manage a rotation". It can get expensive. I'm dating someone myself who has had as many as 7 women on rotation at once in the past. He said it was not only expensive, but exhausting (both physically and mentally) as well, lol.

There is nothing wrong with being a gentleman. I don't see gentlemanly behavior as supplicating "nice guy" behavior at all. A gentleman is someone whose company is desired by women, someone who behaves as an autonomous man, and someone who comports himself with class and refinement.

A gentleman would rarely allow himself to be seen with his lady paying his way. That makes him appear dependent, moochy, and as though he can't afford things. That is not how a solid man wishes to appear in front of other men.

I agree some women will warrant higher quality attention than others. But if OP is starting to go out in public with this chick, and she's already giving him sex...pay for the dates. Don't be a d o u c h e. Maybe she isn't LTR material but there is no need to be an ass.

I often offer to pick up the tab on first dates or early on dating. Men never take me up on that offer, almost without exception because of the dynamic of dependency that conjures. (They do not wish to appear dependent on a woman.) I will note that I date well established older men who see it as a point of pride to demonstrate financial strength and generosity. It is not about provider game. These men can afford things. They are not worried about paying for a $50 meal for 2. It's a different perspective. It's kind of like when I pick up the tab for a big family meal or host people in my home for the holidays. I do it because I choose to. It makes me happy to do it, and it is a generous gesture. Generosity comes from a position of strength is my point.

And I do agree that you can sniff out a mooch in short order. But dating with masculine/feminine polarity is different than mooching or dating in a transactional sense (I do or get X...you do or get Y).

 

[Billtx49]

I know many men who "manage a rotation". It can get expensive. I'm dating someone myself who has had as many as 7 women on rotation at once in the past. He said it was not only expensive, but exhausting (both physically and mentally) as well, lol.

There is nothing wrong with being a gentleman. I don't see gentlemanly behavior as supplicating "nice guy" behavior at all. A gentleman is someone whose company is desired by women, someone who behaves as an autonomous man, and someone who comports himself with class and refinement.

A gentleman would rarely allow himself to be seen with his lady paying his way. That makes him appear dependent, moochy, and as though he can't afford things. That is not how a solid man wishes to appear in front of other men.

I agree some women will warrant higher quality attention than others. But if OP is starting to go out in public with this chick, and she's already giving him sex...pay for the dates. Don't be a d o u c h e. Maybe she isn't LTR material but there is no need to be an ass.

I often offer to pick up the tab on first dates or early on dating. Men never take me up on that offer, almost without exception because of the dynamic of dependency that conjures. (They do not wish to appear dependent on a woman.) I will note that I date well established older men who see it as a point of pride to demonstrate financial strength and generosity. It is not about provider game. These men can afford things. They are not worried about paying for a $50 meal for 2. It's a different perspective. It's kind of like when I pick up the tab for a big family meal or host people in my home for the holidays. I do it because I choose to. It makes me happy to do it, and it is a generous gesture. Generosity comes from a position of strength is my point.

And I do agree that you can sniff out a mooch in short order. But dating with masculine/feminine polarity is different than mooching or dating in a transactional sense (I do or get X...you do or get Y).

Two very interesting posts. Thank you for the feminine perspective.

 

[Ranger]

i don’t mind a drink if she’s already in my corner. I would set it up for daytime AFTER her meal time. Say 1:00pm? Or whatever it is. This means she feeds herself. I don’t like to eat before sex anyway. I like that hungry feeling. Testosterone is higher then as well.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Stingy is a VERY unattractive trait...Don't be cheap. It reflects poorly on you, especially if you can afford it.

I agree. I think it is important to note that cheap and broke are two different things. Broke can still be sexy. Cheap is never sexy.

 

[Mazer]

Is it me who only notices that women who genuinely enjoys a man's company would oftentimes offer to pay for the drinks, food, tickets and sometimes lavish you with gifts ?

Chicks who buy me condoms are my fav. Is it wrong I use some of them to bang my other plates Lol, just kidding I’m not that evil.

 

[Spaz]

That could be considered as a positive notch.

 

[marmel75]

i don’t mind a drink if she’s already in my corner. I would set it up for daytime AFTER her meal time. Say 1:00pm? Or whatever it is. This means she feeds herself. I don’t like to eat before sex anyway. I like that hungry feeling. Testosterone is higher then as well.

If you are worried about T levels they are highest immediately after waking up. However for the most part the differences are negligible and not even worth thinking about. Also T is not as important as most people think regarding sex...it is important but it works in conjunction with a lot of other hormones as well.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Is it me who only notices that women who genuinely enjoys a man's company would oftentimes offer to pay for the drinks, food, tickets and sometimes lavish you with gifts ?

Actions speak louder than words. Yes they really like making you happy.

 

[Spaz]

Actions speak louder than words. Yes they really like making you happy.

Indeed.

Once a woman is happy and feels protected being with a man, she'll sacrifice almost anything just to be in his company.

 

[BeExcellent]

....so you are telling me second hand information and fan fiction about "being a gentleman".

I'm giving you some facts. It cost me £50 a week basic in travel alone keeping a great dating schedule. The most expensive broadband package in my country is that each month, let alone each week.

You literally aren't living in the real world, because you are talking about something you've never even done. And you can't help it, i suppose.



This on the other hand ^^^ smh.

I've seen it first hand. I am well aware it can get expensive. When my ex and I owned a high end nightclub in a destination nightlife city we routinely saw the players and the various women they juggled. We saw what was spent in a single night at our venue, and that was not counting whatever dinner expenses or other entertainment was on tap that evening for a particular guy and his date.

My BF and I both pay for things we do. It ranges between 70/30% and 60/40% I'd say. He pays the higher percentage. This past weekend in one day we were at the casino ($300 playing cards *I watch but don't play* he bought me a drink), we then had drinks and cigars at a lounge (he paid), then we had friends over for wine & tapas (he bought the wine, I bought the food), then we went out to a nightclub for the evening (he paid). Not counting his poker money he spent about $200. With the poker money it was $500 or so.

Some days I'll splurge on a high end dinner out; and usually I pick up the tab for groceries and wine if I'm cooking, which I frequently do.

If a man can't afford the expense of several women in the rotation then he can over come that to a degree by being creative and finding no or low cost things to do for dates.

But telling me I'm clueless as a woman is silly. I pay attention, I know what things cost, and I pay my own way enough to know what dinner & drinks and tickets run for an evening out. Dating multiple people simultaneously is expensive as a rule. But why complain about it? You get plates and nobody is making you or anyone else spin plates. That is a free choice. First world problems I'd say.

My point is that being cheap isn't doing a man any favors. Gentlemen are generous, not cheap.