"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Paying for a flight
- Thread starter cognac
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
Well it depends doesn't it? how much is the ticket going to cost?is she worth it?is she going to come up with the action?have you explicitly let her know your expectations?have you explained there is only one suitable Bed,Yours!at Maison Cognac.....I've done it when flush with cash and short on numbers,pleasant memories!!!....Having said that the understanding would be that you Bankroll her for the Weekend....No basis for a relationship....Why not fly to see her?that's much better if you have never met her.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
After reading your posts,I would pay.Though you haven't told us the cost,Probably mere Bagatelle,this is obviously no cheap fling and this Girl and her Parents will always be grateful to you.Why not it is Christmas?
Julius_Seizeher
Master Don Juan
Will you pay for my ticket?
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
squirrels
Master Don Juan
- Joined
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To what end?cognac said:
If she's staying with her parents, F that. Hit her up next time she visits her parents.
If she's staying with YOU, or if you've already banged her/you are confident you would be banging her, then MAYBE. But a very hesitant maybe...the conditions would have to be right.
If her parents live there, why not just bang her out next time she comes home to visit her parents?
Just a couple of questions about holiday crap. Should I even bother saying Merry Xmas on Xmas? Telling her happy Bday cuz her Bday is a couple days after Xmas. And should I even bother saying Happy New Years too?
BTW the flight is about $700 round trip.
squirrels
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2003
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- 6,620
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- 186
- Age
- 47
I've missed some nice "marks" because of the presence of family. I remember one time I was "in" with my sister's friend and my grandmother (God rest her soul) started meddling, trying to hook me up with a girl that I could've already hooked up with...made me feel so awkward I backed out and never got that chance again. (Fortunately, I got with another girl that night)cognac said:
$700?? F**K NO! You could get a nice hooker for that much. Wait until she comes home again, then make a move. And don't worry about all the "Merry Christmas" stuff unless you're saying it just to say it (and not to just "ping" her to make sure she knows you're still there...a lot of guys do that and it's beta-behavior)
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
She (and her family) knew xmas was coming for the past 12 months. If she/they wanted to be together for the holidays they would've made it happen.
If she was "really" interested in you then she would've REALLY made it happen.
This is absolutely not your responsibility. It sounds like she is trying to use your previous encounters as a way of bribing you. Be extremely wary of a chick like this.
Tell her you'd "love to see her if she makes it out" AND THAT IS IT!
P.S. It would be a fun experiment to really play up how much fun this X-mas/New Years is going to be back home. Tell her about some great things going on and how it would be so fun to have her there. Something tells me she'll scrape up the funds. Then you'll know exactly the type of girl you're dealing with.
I actually like this broad more than the others I screw around with. I dunno I usually have a steady girl this time of the year so it's weird to me to be in this position.
Use this general rule before actingcognac said:
'Would I do what I am about to do, if it was a guy instead of a girl?'
Well, you would pay for a ticket if the guy was your best friend, so you probably would pay for the ticket if she was your long-term gf and showed loyalty.
But would you pay for a ticket for a guy who was simply an acquiantance? No. So don't pay for this girl who you are not close with.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.