"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Paying for a flight
- Thread starter cognac
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
Well it depends doesn't it? how much is the ticket going to cost?is she worth it?is she going to come up with the action?have you explicitly let her know your expectations?have you explained there is only one suitable Bed,Yours!at Maison Cognac.....I've done it when flush with cash and short on numbers,pleasant memories!!!....Having said that the understanding would be that you Bankroll her for the Weekend....No basis for a relationship....Why not fly to see her?that's much better if you have never met her.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
After reading your posts,I would pay.Though you haven't told us the cost,Probably mere Bagatelle,this is obviously no cheap fling and this Girl and her Parents will always be grateful to you.Why not it is Christmas?
Julius_Seizeher
Master Don Juan
Will you pay for my ticket?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
squirrels
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2003
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To what end?cognac said:
If she's staying with her parents, F that. Hit her up next time she visits her parents.
If she's staying with YOU, or if you've already banged her/you are confident you would be banging her, then MAYBE. But a very hesitant maybe...the conditions would have to be right.
If her parents live there, why not just bang her out next time she comes home to visit her parents?
Just a couple of questions about holiday crap. Should I even bother saying Merry Xmas on Xmas? Telling her happy Bday cuz her Bday is a couple days after Xmas. And should I even bother saying Happy New Years too?
BTW the flight is about $700 round trip.
squirrels
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2003
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- 6,620
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- 186
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- 47
I've missed some nice "marks" because of the presence of family. I remember one time I was "in" with my sister's friend and my grandmother (God rest her soul) started meddling, trying to hook me up with a girl that I could've already hooked up with...made me feel so awkward I backed out and never got that chance again. (Fortunately, I got with another girl that night)cognac said:
$700?? F**K NO! You could get a nice hooker for that much. Wait until she comes home again, then make a move. And don't worry about all the "Merry Christmas" stuff unless you're saying it just to say it (and not to just "ping" her to make sure she knows you're still there...a lot of guys do that and it's beta-behavior)
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
She (and her family) knew xmas was coming for the past 12 months. If she/they wanted to be together for the holidays they would've made it happen.
If she was "really" interested in you then she would've REALLY made it happen.
This is absolutely not your responsibility. It sounds like she is trying to use your previous encounters as a way of bribing you. Be extremely wary of a chick like this.
Tell her you'd "love to see her if she makes it out" AND THAT IS IT!
P.S. It would be a fun experiment to really play up how much fun this X-mas/New Years is going to be back home. Tell her about some great things going on and how it would be so fun to have her there. Something tells me she'll scrape up the funds. Then you'll know exactly the type of girl you're dealing with.
I actually like this broad more than the others I screw around with. I dunno I usually have a steady girl this time of the year so it's weird to me to be in this position.
Use this general rule before actingcognac said:
'Would I do what I am about to do, if it was a guy instead of a girl?'
Well, you would pay for a ticket if the guy was your best friend, so you probably would pay for the ticket if she was your long-term gf and showed loyalty.
But would you pay for a ticket for a guy who was simply an acquiantance? No. So don't pay for this girl who you are not close with.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.