"Blank Mind on Dates? She's Dropping Hints You Keep Missing"

The plates get cleared and the silence lands like a brick. You can feel her waiting. Your brain offers up your commute, your job, the weather — topics that have ended more second dates than bad breath.

Here's what most guys never learn: women hand out free conversational material all night long. Tiny clues about what they actually want to discuss. Catch them and you never run out of things to say — because she's telling you what to say next.

Rule 4 of the "22 Rules" trains your ear to catch every single one.

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Party was a damn sausage fest... and girl has BF!

sw20racer

Don Juan
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So, I called up this girl to see what was up for the night. She said there was a house party going on late that night(she told me one of her 'guy friends'-already sounding bad- from high school just rented a house and was celebrating)and that I should come along. I told her, "Ok, but you call me when you're ready." She did call me up, an hour later than expected though.

I meet up with her at the house; she got out of her car with another couple and her boyfriend(I didn't know he was till later on). Go in the house and start talking to other guys in there... didn't know anybody but the girl. As more people come over, it is starting to look bad. All I see are a bunch of guys... I think the total number was something like 5 girls and 15 guys or so.

4 of the girls were pretty hot but they all had their boyfriends with them. I also barely got to talk to the girl that invited me along... she was too busy talking to everybody else or smoking out in the cold. We talked for maybe 15-20 minutes at the most... and nothing that indicated IL.

I think I actually did better with the other hot girls, but they were all pretty much wasted(so was I). All the girls eventually left with their boyfriends.

I left at 5-6 in the morning with a hangover and no new numbers. Damn, trying to use the girl as a 'hookup' to her other friends didn't seem to work... as they were all taken anyway.

Do you guys think I should still keep in touch with her? I don't ever plan on calling her again to do anything.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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coldcoal

Senior Don Juan
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You got nothing out of it, unless you made new friends.
 

sw20racer

Don Juan
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Some of the guys were pretty cool... we ended up talking about guy stuff, like cars and home theaters. I could picture myself hanging out with them... I DO need more friends.

but as for the girl's BF, I don't really want to know him too well, if at all.
 

coldcoal

Senior Don Juan
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It's alright. She was vague and you found the bottom line. If you can see yourself hanging with these guys, then go back and hang with them. Get to know who they know. As far as the girl, toss her aside "romatically" for now, just use her invites to expand your circle of friends.

You don't have to make only female friends to meet more females.
 
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