Partner of 9 years lied to me about smoking

[sazc]

Lol

U can't change anyone.
If you want a non smoking partner then have some self esteem and standards and only date not smoking people.

Trying to change anyone, by persuasion, ultimatum or coercion is going to leave you with A LOT of wasted time dating someone you are not compatible with. You will look back and feel like an idiot for trying to change someone from who they really are.

Ridiculous #next!

 

[Matt3029]

It's not the fact that she smoked which I don't like but it's up to her , the thing that I am struggling with is that she lied to me about smoking, I don't want to control her but wanted the truth ... her mates all knew she smoked and I felt like that were laughing behind my back regarding this situation ...thats the most hurtful part of this...

 

[Epic Days]

It's not the fact that she smoked which I don't like but it's up to her , the thing that I am struggling with is that she lied to me about smoking,

Again. The lie isn’t all that important. You will never find a woman on this planet who does not lie or tells all. You are applying male moral codes to women.

Secondly. The more you put stress on her about smoking, the more she will be addicted. The more that she will have to hide it.
Only someone who has been addicted to nicotine understands this phenomena.

 

[stovepipe]

It's not the fact that she smoked which I don't like but it's up to her , the thing that I am struggling with is that she lied to me about smoking, I don't want to control her but wanted the truth ... her mates all knew she smoked and I felt like that were laughing behind my back regarding this situation ...thats the most hurtful part of this...

Being lied to sucks, being lied to by you SO sucks even more. You either leave her and break free from the lies and emotional pain from it, or stay and continue to wonder if she's gonna lie again. It's hard to look at a person with respect and trust after situations like this. The balls in your court!

 

[soulforge]

Jeez is he really going to leave her, because she lied about smoking? Offcourse she lied, its not something she would have been proud of doing behind OPS back!

Addictions make a person do crazy things, including lying about the addiction.

She probably felt under pressure from op to quit, but some addictions are too strong and not that easy to break off.

OP should have chosen the path of being supportive.

Here is some breaking news op... Woman lie about shyte ALL of the time.

What you gonna do, stay single for the rest of your life, incase some chick lies to you.

She isn't sucking randon DIKS here Bruv.

I'm a very clean living guy, other than the odd drink on the weekend.

I hit the gym, eat clean... Yet I have had LTRs with chicks who have vaped or even smoked.

I don't give a fuk.. Its her lungs... I generally encourage them to move on to vapes.

But I never lay down ultimatums.