"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Painful knots in neck/back/pecs after wrestling

Huffman

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Hey guys, I've got some crazy muscle tension around my shoulder area since 3 weeks ago. Twisted my way out of an elbow lock with lots of force and apparently overexerted all the muscles at once...

Then I got ridiculously hardened muscles in the upper back, neck and chest area - they were pressing onto nerves so there was a stinging pain whenever I did various movements. I did see the doc! He gave me painkillers and an injection, basically saying it's going to disappear if I relax and stretch.

That was 3 weeks ago. I had success massaging&stretching the upper back but I still have pain at the side and front of the collarbone. Some of the neck muscles are stiff and maybe parts of the pecs as well. If I do pushups I'll quickly work up pain in the collarbone. The doc just wants to give me more painkillers, but nothing's happening.

Lots of you seem to do wrestling/BJJ/whatever. Do you know anything helpful to relax the trapezoid and other muscles connecting to the collarbone? Never had anything like this, is it normal to take such a long time?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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marmel75

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Magnesium Oil and foam rolling cures all with tight muscles
 

Huffman

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Getting better slowly, kept massaging a lot. It seems I can go to training without it getting worse.
Next time I'll see a different doc who'll properly pass me on to physiotherapy.

Thanks!
 

yuppee

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you can lie on the floor, with a hard rubber ball between you and the floor. I use a lacrosse ball. Move your back around, using the ball's pressure to massage your back. you can do it on a wall, too, if you put the ball in one old ( long) sock, poke a hole in the toe of the other sock, slip the one sock thru the hole and tie it off. Then you'll have a couple of "handles" on the ball. get an exercise wheel, for the abs and lumbar, with handles. have a friend "roll" your back with the wheel, adjusting their pressure on the wheel, according to your screams of pain, :)
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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KOKid

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What yuppee said will work well.

I highly recommend you get a 30 to 60 minute deep tissue massage and tell the masseuse what is happening and you want a "firm or hard" massage. Make it on a day where you will have 2 or 3 days rest after. It's going to hurt, but a good masseuse can hit points a ball cannot while your body is at rest.
 

Bible_Belt

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Twisted my way out of an elbow lock with lots of force
I'm sorry you got hurt, and I don't mean to kick you when you're down, but "lots of force" and jiu-jitsu do not belong in the same sentence. No martial art requires lots of force; that's what makes it a martial art. In BJJ, grappling is called "rolling." If someone wants to move you in one direction, you just roll with it and don't fight it. The right way out of any lock is to roll the direction that your joint is being twisted. The Gracies created BJJ and originally meant for matches to be untimed. If you are doing anything at all that makes you gas out - you're wrong. A wrestler will gas out in six minutes. A BJJ black belt can roll for six hours and not be tired.
 

Huffman

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I know. I don't do a lot of ground fighting so I'm not going to start an argument here ;) I thought I was being smart as I just twisted the arm so the lock wouldn't work anymore, which all worked but was probably quite sloppy. Just me being overzealous because this guy trying to submit me nonstop (and never getting it right) just getting on my nerves.

I'm all fine again. Was just really surprised that my back would harden up that much because I really didn't pull that hard... anyway, either take proper instruction or take it easy I guess.
 

yuppee

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you have to give up, sometimes, or else break the rules and bite/gouge your way out of it. I don't believe in practicing what won't work in a real fight, and for me, a real fight has ZERO rules, except "win at all costs".
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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ubercat

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A bit out of my discipline but we do lock flow in silat and Kali. Many locks use one limb as a brace. U can often release or weaken the lock by pulling or pushing on that limb. Treatment wise I d second massage specifically Thai. They use the knees elbows feet. U ll need 3 rest days to recover.
 
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