"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Painful knots in neck/back/pecs after wrestling

Huffman

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Hey guys, I've got some crazy muscle tension around my shoulder area since 3 weeks ago. Twisted my way out of an elbow lock with lots of force and apparently overexerted all the muscles at once...

Then I got ridiculously hardened muscles in the upper back, neck and chest area - they were pressing onto nerves so there was a stinging pain whenever I did various movements. I did see the doc! He gave me painkillers and an injection, basically saying it's going to disappear if I relax and stretch.

That was 3 weeks ago. I had success massaging&stretching the upper back but I still have pain at the side and front of the collarbone. Some of the neck muscles are stiff and maybe parts of the pecs as well. If I do pushups I'll quickly work up pain in the collarbone. The doc just wants to give me more painkillers, but nothing's happening.

Lots of you seem to do wrestling/BJJ/whatever. Do you know anything helpful to relax the trapezoid and other muscles connecting to the collarbone? Never had anything like this, is it normal to take such a long time?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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marmel75

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Magnesium Oil and foam rolling cures all with tight muscles
 

Huffman

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Getting better slowly, kept massaging a lot. It seems I can go to training without it getting worse.
Next time I'll see a different doc who'll properly pass me on to physiotherapy.

Thanks!
 

yuppee

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you can lie on the floor, with a hard rubber ball between you and the floor. I use a lacrosse ball. Move your back around, using the ball's pressure to massage your back. you can do it on a wall, too, if you put the ball in one old ( long) sock, poke a hole in the toe of the other sock, slip the one sock thru the hole and tie it off. Then you'll have a couple of "handles" on the ball. get an exercise wheel, for the abs and lumbar, with handles. have a friend "roll" your back with the wheel, adjusting their pressure on the wheel, according to your screams of pain, :)
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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KOKid

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What yuppee said will work well.

I highly recommend you get a 30 to 60 minute deep tissue massage and tell the masseuse what is happening and you want a "firm or hard" massage. Make it on a day where you will have 2 or 3 days rest after. It's going to hurt, but a good masseuse can hit points a ball cannot while your body is at rest.
 

Bible_Belt

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Twisted my way out of an elbow lock with lots of force
I'm sorry you got hurt, and I don't mean to kick you when you're down, but "lots of force" and jiu-jitsu do not belong in the same sentence. No martial art requires lots of force; that's what makes it a martial art. In BJJ, grappling is called "rolling." If someone wants to move you in one direction, you just roll with it and don't fight it. The right way out of any lock is to roll the direction that your joint is being twisted. The Gracies created BJJ and originally meant for matches to be untimed. If you are doing anything at all that makes you gas out - you're wrong. A wrestler will gas out in six minutes. A BJJ black belt can roll for six hours and not be tired.
 

Huffman

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I know. I don't do a lot of ground fighting so I'm not going to start an argument here ;) I thought I was being smart as I just twisted the arm so the lock wouldn't work anymore, which all worked but was probably quite sloppy. Just me being overzealous because this guy trying to submit me nonstop (and never getting it right) just getting on my nerves.

I'm all fine again. Was just really surprised that my back would harden up that much because I really didn't pull that hard... anyway, either take proper instruction or take it easy I guess.
 

yuppee

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you have to give up, sometimes, or else break the rules and bite/gouge your way out of it. I don't believe in practicing what won't work in a real fight, and for me, a real fight has ZERO rules, except "win at all costs".
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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ubercat

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A bit out of my discipline but we do lock flow in silat and Kali. Many locks use one limb as a brace. U can often release or weaken the lock by pulling or pushing on that limb. Treatment wise I d second massage specifically Thai. They use the knees elbows feet. U ll need 3 rest days to recover.
 
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