Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Over compliments

Duster11

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So here how it is:

I was a fairly overweight guy over an year ago (around 220 pounds). I realised that I needed to get fit again (I got in shape TWICE before relapsing to my obese mode again) and lost 42 pounds. (Insane fat loss and good muscle tones) Been hitting the gym and controlling my diet (macros watch, everyday!)

Since I have been shape before, I have been complimented before. It is not different this time either and it is prominent that some girls show interest.

However, there is this one situation I cannot seem to understand: A very close friend of mine (known for over a decade) saw pictures of me and has been complimenting me a lot ever since! (She is overseas so we communicate through tech modes).
I changed my DP and she specifically msged that she loved my DP! Sent a group photo once and she specifically said I look great! (Never done that before) Finally, I sent her another group picture of an event and she went on to say “Duster, you look so good! Damn haha! How come woman are not crushing on you?”
After the first incident, I called her up (weekly ritual) and she said that she was waiting for my call (never happened before since it is a routine thing for me) and she was very mindful of our conversation. She remembered our last conversation (she rarely did before) and even asked updates about certain events (she always forgets our conversations nor did she ever made any efforts to remember them). The second and third incident of compliments came after the phone call.

So, this got me thinking: is she being friendly or actually attracted to me? She has seen me lose weight twice and this is the 3rd time she saw me in shape. It is easier for me understand signs of strangers but when it comes to close friends, I am a goof.

DJs, your interpretations/ advice will be regarded! Thanks!

PS. Please, do not tell me the “friend zone” stuff. I am already aware of this. Think about educating your brother here who does not know about a certain situation.
 
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Kotaix

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My guess is she likes you quite a bit. She's giving strong IOIs.

Getting fit is the male equivalent of a boob job. it's subtle, but I've noticed a change in how people treat me since I've gotten into good shape.

I have a female friend in a very similar situation. We are highschool classmates but we never had anything going until I made a visit back to the home country a few years ago and we had a good 1 on 1 talk until 4 am and found we had a real connection; although the most explicit sign of interest I got was her blowing me a kiss as I left. Ever since, she's gone out of her way to like and comment on the rare occasion I make a social media post (and I never post pictures of myself). Now that I'm going back to visit family in a few weeks, she's made it clear that she WILL make time for me while I'm there come hell or high water. So that is something you can use to test the waters.

Don't even think about long distance relationships.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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How old is she? And how old was she the first 2 times you lost weight? If she’s around the same age as you (based on what your profile says) methinks she’s finally starting to hit the wall and so she’s finally starting to see you as sexually attractive. It’s may not have been the case before because she may have had more options from other men, as she was younger.

If this is the case, then sorry to burst your bubble. She’s attracted to you, but not because she’s actually attracted to you...
 

Duster11

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How old is she? And how old was she the first 2 times you lost weight? If she’s around the same age as you (based on what your profile says) methinks she’s finally starting to hit the wall and so she’s finally starting to see you as sexually attractive. It’s may not have been the case before because she may have had more options from other men, as she was younger.

If this is the case, then sorry to burst your bubble. She’s attracted to you, but not because she’s actually attracted to you...
We are 18 when we met. (Same age)
I lost weight when I was 21 and then when I was 23.
I am 29 right now.

Haha the last para! Probably the “new me” look is having the temporary effect right now.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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We are 18 when we met. (Same age)
I lost weight when I was 21 and then when I was 23.
I am 29 right now.

Haha the last para! Probably the “new me” look is having the temporary effect right now.
Yeah so it’s likley bc of the wall effect and also because now you’re more physically developed as well.
 

Ohso-Phresh

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So here how it is:

I was a fairly overweight guy over an year ago (around 220 pounds). I realised that I needed to get fit again (I got in shape TWICE before relapsing to my obese mode again) and lost 42 pounds. (Insane fat loss and good muscle tones) Been hitting the gym and controlling my diet (macros watch, everyday!)

Since I have been shape before, I have been complimented before. It is not different this time either and it is prominent that some girls show interest.

However, there is this one situation I cannot seem to understand: A very close friend of mine (known for over a decade) saw pictures of me and has been complimenting me a lot ever since! (She is overseas so we communicate through tech modes).
I changed my DP and she specifically msged that she loved my DP! Sent a group photo once and she specifically said I look great! (Never done that before) Finally, I sent her another group picture of an event and she went on to say “Duster, you look so good! Damn haha! How come woman are not crushing on you?”
After the first incident, I called her up (weekly ritual) and she said that she was waiting for my call (never happened before since it is a routine thing for me) and she was very mindful of our conversation. She remembered our last conversation (she rarely did before) and even asked updates about certain events (she always forgets our conversations nor did she ever made any efforts to remember them). The second and third incident of compliments came after the phone call.

So, this got me thinking: is she being friendly or actually attracted to me? She has seen me lose weight twice and this is the 3rd time she saw me in shape. It is easier for me understand signs of strangers but when it comes to close friends, I am a goof.

DJs, your interpretations/ advice will be regarded! Thanks!

PS. Please, do not tell me the “friend zone” stuff. I am already aware of this. Think about educating your brother here who does not know about a certain situation.
You triggered her attraction, now flirt with no intention of a relationship. Flip the script by LTJF her.

‘Hey missy/little sis, your salivating, don’t be getting all feral on me.’
 

Duster11

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go for it man, you earned it!
Alright, so I told her how I felt about her. Turns our she does not feel the same way. Said she loves me but does not looks at me that way and was certainly shocked to here me say it.
As for me, I was graceful and told her that I respect her choice and am not going to force her. She was worried that our friendship may become awkward but I let her know that I am a different Duster than the one she knew. It was up to me how I want to work this out.
I gave the assurance that even if my feelings are not reciprocated, we are friends first and I will make sure that we stay that way. She sounded relieved.

Honestly, I am not hurt. Disappointed, yes but definitely not hurt. Feels as if things are finally clear now. I look forward to the future. Thanks for the push!
 

Duster11

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You triggered her attraction, now flirt with no intention of a relationship. Flip the script by LTJF her.

‘Hey missy/little sis, your salivating, don’t be getting all feral on me.’
Do look at my reply I gave to Soldier King. Same goes for you.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Its called she didn't find you attractive fat but she thinks you are hot now. What's there to figure out? Get her in person and bang her. She will probably do the work for you.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Alright, so I told her how I felt about her. Turns our she does not feel the same way. Said she loves me but does not looks at me that way and was certainly shocked to here me say it.
As for me, I was graceful and told her that I respect her choice and am not going to force her. She was worried that our friendship may become awkward but I let her know that I am a different Duster than the one she knew. It was up to me how I want to work this out.
I gave the assurance that even if my feelings are not reciprocated, we are friends first and I will make sure that we stay that way. She sounded relieved.

Honestly, I am not hurt. Disappointed, yes but definitely not hurt. Feels as if things are finally clear now. I look forward to the future. Thanks for the push!
Why would you do that? This isn't a Disney movie. You show them through actions not tell them through words.
 

darksprezzatura

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So here how it is:

I was a fairly overweight guy over an year ago (around 220 pounds). I realised that I needed to get fit again (I got in shape TWICE before relapsing to my obese mode again) and lost 42 pounds. (Insane fat loss and good muscle tones) Been hitting the gym and controlling my diet (macros watch, everyday!)

Since I have been shape before, I have been complimented before. It is not different this time either and it is prominent that some girls show interest.

However, there is this one situation I cannot seem to understand: A very close friend of mine (known for over a decade) saw pictures of me and has been complimenting me a lot ever since! (She is overseas so we communicate through tech modes).
I changed my DP and she specifically msged that she loved my DP! Sent a group photo once and she specifically said I look great! (Never done that before) Finally, I sent her another group picture of an event and she went on to say “Duster, you look so good! Damn haha! How come woman are not crushing on you?”
After the first incident, I called her up (weekly ritual) and she said that she was waiting for my call (never happened before since it is a routine thing for me) and she was very mindful of our conversation. She remembered our last conversation (she rarely did before) and even asked updates about certain events (she always forgets our conversations nor did she ever made any efforts to remember them). The second and third incident of compliments came after the phone call.

So, this got me thinking: is she being friendly or actually attracted to me? She has seen me lose weight twice and this is the 3rd time she saw me in shape. It is easier for me understand signs of strangers but when it comes to close friends, I am a goof.

DJs, your interpretations/ advice will be regarded! Thanks!

PS. Please, do not tell me the “friend zone” stuff. I am already aware of this. Think about educating your brother here who does not know about a certain situation.
Do you think she has the potential to fly over from overseas and bang you?

If I were in your place, I'd use that attention and energy to my growth and potential plates in my proximity.

Her validation of liking you or not is irrelevant.
 

Duster11

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Why would you do that? This isn't a Disney movie. You show them through actions not tell them through words.
Was not asking for this to be a Disney movie. Wanted clearance. Having said that, now I have 2 choices:

1. Up my game and make HER come to me (I am up for a challenge and like the thrill).

2. Give up, be friends, look for someone else and move on. (Realistic but I would regret not taking the challenge).

What would you suggest BackInTheGame78?
 

Duster11

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Do you think she has the potential to fly over from overseas and bang you?
Certainly, my dear friend. Otherwise, I would not have asked you guys for the advice.

If I were in your place, I'd use that attention and energy to my growth and potential plates in my proximity.
Though I will agree that the attention and energy has been beneficial. Considering the quarantine in my country, the search for potential plates is going to be on hold for awhile lol
 
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