Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Over 30 DJ's

Jack12345

Banned
Joined
Jan 20, 2020
Messages
766
Reaction score
418
"Finding a good woman in her 30's is like finding a parking space... All the good ones are taken and the remaining ones are handicapped."
You need to look at younger girls because youre at the peak of your sexuality, a guy who becoming a man. Doesnt mean you wont find hot girls at their 30's, but putting your focus on these type will gradually suck your energy and keep you stagnating. You cant blame the women, this is their biology clock. The handicapped term is out of context and feels desperate and negative - two things you should avoid
 

LARaiders85

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 4, 2016
Messages
8,478
Reaction score
7,947
Age
35
Looks like at least some of what I'm experiencing in my 30s is inevitable and not just due to tech. Oh well.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
814
Reaction score
843
Looks like at least some of what I'm experiencing in my 30s is inevitable and not just due to tech. Oh well.
The element that I find most frustrating when dealing with women in their 30s is that they have sky high expectations still, as if they were still in their 20s. If you do meet 30 something women on apps, they are being pursued as hotly as 20 something women. They have no shortage of options, plus they get naturally more fussy.

What are you experiencing with 30 something women now?
 

LARaiders85

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 4, 2016
Messages
8,478
Reaction score
7,947
Age
35
The element that I find most frustrating when dealing with women in their 30s is that they have sky high expectations still, as if they were still in their 20s. If you do meet 30 something women on apps, they are being pursued as hotly as 20 something women. They have no shortage of options, plus they get naturally more fussy.

What are you experiencing with 30 something women now?
I think even their expectations that they project are really just excuses to push men away the way they have pushed men away their entire lives bc no one was ever good enough supposedly, out of literally 100+ guys. High standards can be a way to facilitate Avoidant attachment.

what I experience is that the wall is not so much in their looks but in their mental health. It's impossible to tolerate a neurotic mental patient in my free time. to the extent they can keep it together long enough to sit down and talk then the dates are boring job interviews and they seem hyper aware of power dynamics even within a single conversation. There is almost no sign of flirting or femininity at all.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
814
Reaction score
843
I think even their expectations that they project are really just excuses to push men away the way they have pushed men away their entire lives bc no one was ever good enough supposedly, out of literally 100+ guys. High standards can be a way to facilitate Avoidant attachment.

what I experience is that the wall is not so much in their looks but in their mental health. It's impossible to tolerate a neurotic mental patient in my free time. to the extent they can keep it together long enough to sit down and talk then the dates are boring job interviews and they seem hyper aware of power dynamics even within a single conversation. There is almost no sign of flirting or femininity at all.
The wall isn't always a wall with a woman in her 30s. Most women in their 30s post 2010 seem to be experiencing a padded cushion instead of a brick wall. They are still hotly pursued if they are using swipe apps.

There is a lot of weirdness in this cohort. I've mainly interacted with a 30 something women who have never been married and have no kids. I think the worst ones are the big career ones. The women with the demanding white collar careers are the least feminine ones. I once had a date with a 35 year old woman who spent weekends traveling to EDM festivals in other cities. Although she didn't have an overwhelmingly demanding career, she was a bit unstable. No second date there.

A lot of the 30 something women I've interacted with don't make relational development a priority. Relational development falls beneath her job, her friends, Fluffy the Cat/Fido the Dog's needs, etc. Although childless women in their 30s face some degree of social exclusion, they typically have more friends than childless men in their 30s.

I try really hard avoid boring job interview topics of conversation on first dates. Sometimes it works, but there are times where some of the 30 something women won't lighten up.

There's also a contingent of 30 something women who are looking to have babies fast, and that's a non-starter with me. I don't think that's been the majority of my interactions, but it is out there. If there is a contingent that feel that way, they generally hide it well.
 

image

"If you love women, you must read the SoSuave Guide to Women. It's fantastic!"

LARaiders85

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 4, 2016
Messages
8,478
Reaction score
7,947
Age
35
The wall isn't always a wall with a woman in her 30s. Most women in their 30s post 2010 seem to be experiencing a padded cushion instead of a brick wall. They are still hotly pursued if they are using swipe apps.

There is a lot of weirdness in this cohort. I've mainly interacted with a 30 something women who have never been married and have no kids. I think the worst ones are the big career ones. The women with the demanding white collar careers are the least feminine ones. I once had a date with a 35 year old woman who spent weekends traveling to EDM festivals in other cities. Although she didn't have an overwhelmingly demanding career, she was a bit unstable. No second date there.

A lot of the 30 something women I've interacted with don't make relational development a priority. Relational development falls beneath her job, her friends, Fluffy the Cat/Fido the Dog's needs, etc. Although childless women in their 30s face some degree of social exclusion, they typically have more friends than childless men in their 30s.

I try really hard avoid boring job interview topics of conversation on first dates. Sometimes it works, but there are times where some of the 30 something women won't lighten up.

There's also a contingent of 30 something women who are looking to have babies fast, and that's a non-starter with me. I don't think that's been the majority of my interactions, but it is out there. If there is a contingent that feel that way, they generally hide it well.
All of your experiences are my experiences honestly except for this one part:

"Although childless women in their 30s face some degree of social exclusion, they typically have more friends than childless men in their 30s."

I actually think that guys have more friends but that's just based on my experience.

I think at the whole idea of women suddenly losing their looks and suddenly everything changes at the wall is sort of a revenge fantasy for Mgtow/incel types. It's not that it doesn't happen but it is seriously sedated in today's market which has plentiful options for even women with no looks at all.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
814
Reaction score
843
I think at the whole idea of women suddenly losing their looks and suddenly everything changes at the wall is sort of a revenge fantasy for Mgtow/incel types. It's not that it doesn't happen but it is seriously sedated in today's market which has plentiful options for even women with no looks at all.
Yes. It doesn't change that much. At best, there's a decline after menopause. Within the last 7 years or so, I've heard a few stories from acquaintances of women between 45-60 getting hotly pursued on Match, OurTime, and the more website/non-swipe type like online services. An in shape 50 year old woman will have no problems finding options.

The wall as a concept was probably more realistic in the era before dating websites and later dating apps. Most people have more dates as a result of apps than they would have if they were just dependent upon real life sourcing of dates. It must be said that a lot of these website/app sourced dates are complete garbage. One of the best attributes of cold approach is that in 5 minutes you can figure out if something will work in-person more easily. While this facet reduces the number of total dates, it also does reduce the amount of money wasted on failed dates. Apps are great at producing wasteful spend for men. The 30-39 year old childless women isn't asked out in person as much as she is asked out on apps. However, she still fields a decent amount of cold approaches if she lives in a singles dense neighborhood of a major metropolitan area. Most 30-39 year old single women live in such areas.

One of the most difficult things about dealing with 30-39 year old childless women is their bio clock. They have the massive demands that have been talked about on this thread, and they wish to rush into family formation. Whereas when this woman was 25, she didn't demand a shorter time frame to get to a major life milestone. Rushing into that life milestone is such a bad idea. There can be an advantage to going on a date with a 40 year old woman who has given up on having kids. You'd be much harder pressed to find a 35 year old woman who has given up on the idea of kids. An interaction with a 40 year old woman resigned to no kids has the potential have an more positive vibe because it's not a husband hunting job interview type expedition that you might get with a 32-36 year old. The difficult part there is finding said 40 year old being in good shape.
 

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,497
Reaction score
6,947
Location
Somewhere where's it's none of your business
This is my experience. I am 35.
You're back again, Mark, women are not men, they are not supposed to be like men, so with that in mind, they of course act crazy to many men.

For me, all those craziness, if you're able to predict beforehand and use it to ur advantage, it will be a source of unending amusement.

You're a smart man....think, turn the situation around instead of complaining.
 

VictorSleazy

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 26, 2020
Messages
22
Reaction score
15
Age
31
31 here. Made a commitment to myself only date under 25’s as long as i can. I think it all comes down to how good you take care of yourself. Girls i date say stuff like ”i wish i lookd like that when im 30+”

i hate the stress girls in their 27-30 age bring, you can feel their need to lock you down asap. Much more chill with younger ones
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 29, 2020
Messages
756
Reaction score
560
Age
35
As a man, when you are 20 and a woman is 20, your social value is inherently different, because we live in a gynocentric society. As a man, once you get into your 30's the ball falls into our court.

There is a growing trend of there being an outcry of older women who are trying to demonize the idea of older men dating younger women, because obviously the men their age want nothing to do with them.

In general, I find women my own age to be incredibly unappealing, basically 21-29, I only search past 29 based on income alone.
 

ThisIsSparta

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 3, 2020
Messages
103
Reaction score
143
Age
42
Location
Austria
I made the experience that it is not uncommon to meet girls in the range between 22 and 27ish with the "45-year-old-boyfriend-experience".
And rarely do they mention the age as being the problem that led to go seperate ways.

That being said, a lot of todays "kids" can have way more baggage then a 35 year old comming out of a 10 year marriage.
We are talking about generations and that todays 20year old were brought up totaly different from todays 40year olds.
 

daproest1

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 26, 2019
Messages
324
Reaction score
128
Age
33
It’s pretty bad. And I live in miami Florida. I’m 32 but was with a girl from when I was 25 until I was 31. She was perfect. Just a little too argumentative at times. She was 4 years younger. Before her and after her, I don’t do relationships. She was... different. A... blank canvas if u will. I Had no redpill awareness or relationship game. Needless to say, she left. Those were some developmental years for me. And for her. Quit tending bar. Started and grew a business. She finished school, became a nurse, Etc. It’s weird now. I can’t really get close to anyone Emotionally. Don’t feel much. I have a 9 that lives in my Building Thats my age. She’s the first one I banged when I became single. Added another 2 plates After that. Then added a 3rd. I cut off the rest and kept the third. Why?
-32 year old in my building, high notch count. And emotional baggage. I could tell. It’s a vibe.

-plate 1: older than me by a few years, a Solid 10, but had a 20 year old son. I cant take Single moms seriously.

-plate 2: Also a 9, but moody and wishY washy. I have zero patience


-plate 3: a 6. Definitely the least attractive woman I’ve ever had. Well her body’s awesome. Remove her face and her body is like a 9. The sex is good. She was single, and sexless, for 2 years before she met me. Was with her ex for 4 and a half before that. She’s 27. She’s super sweet, nurturing, thoughtful, cooks, cleans, Cares about my cat. It goes to show. Women need to take BREAKS. Continuous d!ck fvcks up their head. BUT.... I feel nothing (she’s not the most intelligent, or funny, or pretty), so I’m thinking about cutting it off. It’s a shame. Even her dad is cool. I wish I wasn’t so superficial. Or spoiled? Idk.

I think any girl a few years younger than u, WITH A LOW NOTCH COUNT, that u get in your mid to late 20s, just marry her if u love her. Don’t be like me. I just didn’t wanna get married. Lost 6 years of my life. Now she hates me. Won’t talk to me. Treats me like I banged her grandmother even though I never cheated or anything, Etc.
 

image

Put away your credit card.

You can now read our detailed guide to women and dating for free - Right Here!

daproest1

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 26, 2019
Messages
324
Reaction score
128
Age
33
I'm 23 and have not yet had any success with women. So you're saying that it's only going to get harder as I get older? That's not very encouraging.
No. Not for u. 23 is good. Work on yourself now. Money. Muscles. Knowledge. Game. Aim high. You WILL pull a 10. Make sure she’s younger. Make sure she has a low notch count (aim for below 4), and then GET HER TF AWAY FROM THE CITY AND MARRY HER when you’re 29. She’ll be 24-25.
 

daproest1

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 26, 2019
Messages
324
Reaction score
128
Age
33
Im 25 now, and it's interesting to see what I should expect when I eventually hit 30.

Some of the guys advise guys my age to start looking to lock someone down right now. But what if I still feel I have more dating/exploring to do? I get that women develop more baggage the older they get, but I won't have to date women the same age as me so what's the rush?

I personally feel like I haven't yet peaked in terms of my career, physique, or my communication skills. I might have aged a bit in the face but I'm still told I look younger than I am. I predict I'll peak around 27-28, which is when I'll start thinking of settling down.
Bro settle down. If u find your dream girl, just settle down. Trust me. You’ll regret not doing it at 32.
 

bmxcetera

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 12, 2004
Messages
1,048
Reaction score
55
Location
D.C.
Yeah...single, childless women between the ages of 27-35 are in the "danger zone" and I'm only getting warmed up.
 

daproest1

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 26, 2019
Messages
324
Reaction score
128
Age
33
I've been dealing with this type for a while. Not fun.
They’re horrible. And if they have children, that’s a problem. And if they’re not single, that’s obviously still a problem.
 
Top