Over 30 DJ's

TKDude

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Any observations on how the game changes? I read the posts and it seems that many of the DJ's benefit from being an undergrad at a college with many HB's, Where most of the people don't work 45 hours a week in an office populated by over 50 married co-workers who haven't partied since Grand Funk Railroad split up.

As it has been said on this site, "Finding a good woman in her 30's is like finding a parking space... All the good ones are taken and the remaining ones are handicapped."
 

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Don_juan

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I'm 30 and I know work isn't the place I'll meet anyone. But one of my last few girlfriends was 21, so I guess it depends on your age requirements....

The game does change though... but only to my advantage. Seen more, done more....
 

RKTek

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I am an 'older' DJ and find that the field of sane (very important disclaimer) women diminishes rapidly with each passing year. It gets exponentially more difficult to find a sane woman without baggage, hangups, emotional problems, bratty kids or other weirdness. Also, as you get out in the world and get the most basic things like a career, house and car, you have a harder time discerning whether she's interested in you or your wallet/possessions.

If a woman is still single/virgin/never been married after age 30, there is something wrong with her. But then again, being able to talk to a potential life companion is important too. You want someone who shares your sensibilities, worldview, intelligence level, sense of morality, work ethic, etc. So that as you get older, you don't really WANT the younger HB's, firm and willing though they may be.

The best time for the hunt is when you're in your 20's and early 30's. After that all you find are women with low interest level who married the guy anyway, then lost interest (surprise!) after they had a kid or two, then get divorced and bitter, blaming "men". There are a LOT of women like that out there: disillusioned but refusing to take the blame for leading on the poor AFC that she loved him, then 'waking up' to the fact that she never loved him, and then wondering what happened. Duh?

There are fine, genuine women out there, but they get scarcer as time goes by.
 

TheLadiesMan

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32 here, dating a chic who's 25. It's not that I wouldn't date a woman my age or older, it's just I haven't found any that could beat out a 25 year old blonde for the title.



-TLM

[This message has been edited by TheLadiesMan (edited 08-07-2002).]
 

hannibal82

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rtek.......god thats kind of depressing ...blah i feel like in 10 years all of the good opps / times will be over. It just sounds so .....depressing .

can anybody out there 30 + give any positive feedback on sarging at that age and actually still finding good girls ? maybe i'm being young and pessimistic.......maybe i don't want to face reality it just seems like an unavoidable situation, i don't want stuff like this to end


------------------
"You....You're so money and you don't even know it.
-Trent from "Swingers"
 
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prosemont

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I'm an older DJ, too, and agree with RKTek regarding the increased baggage women carry with each passing year. The eligible amount of women also depends on your locale and your purpose. (Usually metro areas have larger # of eligible women at higher ages due to careers and demographics.) I have found that many women are career oriented, perfectly fine, and are waiting longer to get married ... into their 30's.

Don't forget, as a DJ, heck, as a man, you have many more options vis-a-vis eligible ages of women than most women do. If you are a 40 year old guy, your choices are from, say, age 21 to 45 which is a huge spread. Finding someone compatible at any age is difficult, but I would never let age be a restriction. Not only that, but as an older DJ, I get more poontang now than I ever did then.

Where were all those sexy 25 year olds when I was 25? Answer, they were with older dudes like I am now.
Are these LTR material? Maybe, maybe not, same as in any age group.

But, to find the right women, you have to diversify. If you are looking for a specific type of woman, you need to go where you are more apt to find them.

If you want to find a Baptist, you have to go where the Baptists are. You want educated women, take some adult ed courses. You want firm little HBs, play in the coed volleyball league. I have found great success in political groups -- the Young Republicans or Democrats groups (the Repubs are hotter in my experience, the Dems are too crunchy, but you have to pick which is your cup of tea). And, then, the world is your target, you should have your eyes peeled constantly -- some fertile hunting grounds are supermarkets (especially the health food ones which all the hotties seem to go to), bookstores, coffee shops, heck, just walking around, the world is your oyster my brother.

You should continually be building your bullpen with relievers. (See my prior post on building the bullpen.)
 

TKDude

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I think I will concentrate on mid to late 20’s.

I recently had a coffee’ date with a really nice 26 year old. She has finished college and has got her life together, doesn’t smoke. Most of my bad experiences have been with unmarried women my own age. I recently met this one girl at a coffee’ shop. I wrote about it in an earlier post. Red head with the motorcycle. Well I had a casual one hour coffee’ date with her. Man, it was like a parade of Red Flags.

32, ten years stripping, (TRYING to get out of it) Broke up with boyfriend, but still friends.? Still sort of lives with him, or stays at his garage? HUH? Basically stated that she is trying to get her life back together again, is a recovering alcholic, and mentions that she goes to some sort of counseling for battered women. Even as a Bootycall I am apprehensive.

I think there are good single women my age, but perhaps I am picking the wrong places. I live in sort of a bohemian part of my city, which I love, it is the only real neighborhood in my city where people actually walk anymore.

I am attracted to outgoing people who have a certain type of alternative look. But the sad fact is that most of them are pretty messed up.

Perhaps I should take up golf, the women there have less tattoos but carry less baggage, (Except their clubs of course.
)

But I am sure I would find them boring. Perhaps excitement comes at a cost?
 

dead_romeo

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I'm 32. Once a woman hits 30, they are usually burnt out in one way or another, this is due to the fact that they do NOT beleive in consequences or repercussions of their actions. They are brittle and unbending in their thoughts when compared to a man of 30.

If they aren't married by that time they will usually marry any man with a pulse.

Right now I look at 23-30 year old women for the most part. My last steady g/f was 23, I was 31 at the time.

RK is right, every year that passes a whole new generation of weird ass women pops up out of the woodwork.

------------------
"Conclusions arrived at through reasoning have very little or no influence in altering the course of our lives. Hence, the countless examples of people who have the clearest convictions and yet act diametrically against them time and time again; and have as the only explanation for their behavior the idea that to err is human." Carlos Castaneda - The Fire From Within

"It is the responsibility of the strong to help the weak become strong" - Harlan Ellison
 

TKDude

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Yes, Either they are desperate to get married, or they are ademant against it. Not many in-between.

I think many of the wierdness comes from some sort of post-truamatic reaction. I think by that age, if a woman has been around, she has had her share of abusive boyfriends or has been raped at a party and is only then coming to grips with it.
 

El Perro

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Well, at least I know I'm not alone
!

It's funny how a lot of what I've read in this post so far sounds just like the very same sh!t I've been saying about my love life for about the past couple of years!

Where I live, most of the women my age are either married by now, or they got the hell out of this joke of a state (SC). The only thing left (in my age range) are the strippers (can you say Major Baggage?), and that kind of drama gets old. Real quick.

Someone else gave some sage advice earlier on this post: us 30+ DJ's have to diversify if we're going to have any kind of fun. If you really think about it, most of us here could STILL pull girls in their early 20's and up.

Let's not give up so easily, fellas; we bring much experience to the game.

------------------


That chick you're obssessing over already HAS a p*ssy... she doesn't need another one, so be a man!
 
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TKDude

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I am waiting for our over 30 year old women to post here and tell us that her BAGGAGE is actually a wealth of experience, that we should appreciate.

Who needs a tablua rasa when you can have a woman who will compare you to all the other men in her life. (Or at least the ones she can remember.)


That she is not bitter, but is like a fine vintage wine.

Any Takers?

[This message has been edited by TKDude (edited 08-08-2002).]

[This message has been edited by TKDude (edited 08-08-2002).]
 

El Perro

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hannibal82 says:

rtek.......god thats kind of depressing ...blah i feel like in 10 years all of the good opps / times will be over. It just sounds so .....depressing .
can anybody out there 30 + give any positive feedback on sarging at that age and actually still finding good girls ? maybe i'm being young and pessimistic.......maybe i don't want to face reality it just seems like an unavoidable situation, i don't want stuff like this to end
Hey, man, don't let it get you down too much. If you've been following the thread up to this point, you might notice a consensus forming here; it's not that us DJ's get all washed up at 30+ yrs, it's just that the dateable women in this age group seem fewer and farther between for various reasons. We DJ's still want to date and mate, but now our female peers have (by this stage in their lives) amassed quite a bit of emotional baggage that keeps them (and you) from having fun.

I say leave the "Drama Queens" to their problems; we're not required to restrict our c_nt hunt to such narrow age ranges, anyway (just don't get 'em too young
).

------------------


That chick you're obssessing over already HAS a p*ssy... she doesn't need another one, so be a man!

[This message has been edited by El Perro (edited 08-08-2002).]
 

T Dog

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I turn 30 in 3 months. I got a little depressed around my 29th birthday and I have noticed things are changing for me again.

It's tough to meet girls for several reasons.

1)You spend a majority of your day at work. The # of girls here vary. I personally, don't date girls from work. It's also a DJ principle.

2) I'm too tired to go out during the weekday and don't like feeling like $hit at work ALL the next day. So I'm not hitting it up during the week like when I was in college. You could at least sleep thru class when you were hung over.

3) Usually I am too tired to go out Friday Night, but Fridays suck compared to saturday night, so there's one night a week I go out on, that's saturday.

Recently I have made a conscience effort ot expand my social cicle so I can meet some quality chicks, i.g. not women in bars.

Volleyball- You can read my post about the first date I got out of there.

Toastmasters- no chicks but several of my peers from the club are 'hooking me up' with some hotties.

Night classes - I took a night class in microsoft office products and the women in there were either 16 years old or 36 years old. No inbetween, Crap!

Only 6 months ago I was swimming in pu$$y, so I know it's possible to find some hotties (they were all 21 to 23) when you are hitting your 30's. But right now I am in a dry spell.

Anything I left out?

T Dog
 

Kanadasutra

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Going to my 28's *i am not over 30* but i totally relate to what i am reading here... But i am more on the positive side... i have more prospect/fun/dates than i ever had in my early 20's.

T Dog, you wrote:

"3) Usually I am too tired to go out Friday Night, but Fridays suck compared to saturday night, so there's one night a week I go out on, that's saturday."

- Dont know if it is similar in other city but i lived in three different city and there is many places that are cool on sunday *with many singles*. But i dont have any idea why!.

- I am giving less time to solitary activities (reading, arts, tv, video games) and more to social ones that's helping very much in meeting new person/doing new friends.

- I have family friends that are trying to match me with girls they know. I dont like that very much: Still prefer rejection over "refered" blind-dates!

But i definitively like meeting friends of a friend in a party/diner or any "get together" *fireworks/camping/music show/etc.*
 

VeryBadGirl

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"32, ten years stripping, (TRYING to get out of it) Broke up with boyfriend, but still friends.? Still sort of lives with him, or stays at his garage? HUH? Basically stated that she is trying to get her life back together again, is a recovering alcholic, and mentions that she goes to some sort of counseling for battered women"


Kind of off-topic, but needs to be said nonetheless. Regarding the aforementioned woman, please RUN, quickly, away from her.

As far as night classes go, try taking something a bit more intellectual or creative - something that people are not just taking for work. I take a pottery class and have taken some language classes just for fun. Lots of women there.
 
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86

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I'm gonna be 29 in a few months...everything everyone has posted here is TRUE.

So I'll add some fuel to the fire.
In the past few months I have dated women in the age range of 22 on up to 31. For the most part, the older they get, the more wacked out they are - all except for this one really cool, 30-yr. old girl who, despite being divorced and having family issues, was really laid back and and not fvcked up in the least. Too bad I wasn't really attracted to her.

The young 'uns were laid back too and didn't have hardly any hang-ups...fun to be around and have playtime with, but when you're a workin' stiff in the rat race like most of us older DJ's, sometimes enough is enough or you're just too exhausted to even ponder going out on the prowl.

Well, basically I've just reiterated what everyone said here
oh drat. But I feel you, all you senior DJ's.
 

Sting

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Originally posted by 86:
The young 'uns were laid back too and didn't have hardly any hang-ups...fun to be around and have playtime with, but when you're a workin' stiff in the rat race like most of us older DJ's, sometimes enough is enough or you're just too exhausted to even ponder going out on the prowl.
This is the epitomy of being a 30+ year old DJ. I don't know about you guys, but after a long, hard day at work, I like to do things FOR MYSELF (e.g., the gym, read a good book, etc...) or I have domestic chores to take care of (laundry, dishes, etc...). I don't have time to be a woman's "entertainment" -- I'm too darn tired.

Maybe I need to get a job where I don't work as many hours, or where the job is less mentally demanding. Unfortunately, I'd hate working that job more than I do my current one, and I'd make less money to boot. Doesn't sound like a fair trade to me.

My main problem was not learning how to play the game earlier in life (e.g., 17-21). I played it to a certain extent, but was mostly hit or miss. Then on came 3 years of graduate school, and out into the working world. It wasn't until I was a couple of years out, and had money to spend, that I realized my "power."

Great, but is it now too late to use it?

------------------
It could happen to you, just like it happened to me, there is simply no immunity, there's no guarantee...
 

Sting

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A brief follow-up to my previous post.

Being an older DJ, I realize that my appearance will likely only go down if I don't keep going to the gym regularly. Doing so gives the chance to compete for the quality 25-29 year old women who are looking to get married in the next 5 years, but aren't so jaded from past experiences.

------------------
It could happen to you, just like it happened to me, there is simply no immunity, there's no guarantee...
 

Chubbs Peterson

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Originally posted by TKDude:
Any observations on how the game changes? I read the posts and it seems that many of the DJ's benefit from being an undergrad at a college with many HB's, Where most of the people don't work 45 hours a week in an office populated by over 50 married co-workers who haven't partied since Grand Funk Railroad split up.
I'm 32. Going to be 33 in a couple of months. I've found that the game changes mostly because I'VE changed. Partially due to my age and maturity, partially due to the information that this fine website has given me.

I'll say that once you turn 30+ you've hopefully have "achieved" something in your life...or at least "staked out your territory" in the world. It gives you a bit of confidence that women find attractive.

I remember back when I was in college and I realized that there will be less easily available women one I graduated and went out into the "real" world. This holds true now that I am older.

Nowadays I have to actually consider that a woman might not be available, and having conversations is a little trickier because you have to "fish" a little to find out whatever you two have in common (as opposed to simply saying "Hey what's your major?" "Where do you study?" etc). So finding common ground with a complete stranger is a little more difficult, but it comes with the territory.

Working is also somewhat of a hindrance, but it can work in your favor because it gives you something to actually do...and keep your mind away from the chicks. But sometimes it can be too much:
http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/016580.html

The best part however is that, speaking for myself, I am more established and have made a name for myself in the world that I inhabit, which only works in my favor. (Although I still find ways to botch things up occasionally
)

Hope my post and others help you. I've actually posted some similar questions regarding getting older and the dating scene that may offer additional insight. I could only find one of those posts. Here it is...
http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/000128.html

--Chubbs.
 

lordclem*

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this is something i have been meaning to share with the older guys(and anyone else) on the site.
check on the site really good stuff
www.steelballs.com
look at the newsletters.good stuff it would seem that the books are great too.
 
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