Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Why do you want "the opertunity for a second date" anyway? That is not a good frame. You give them the opportunity, not the other way around.chrisgoodrich25 said:
to be honest im not sure..i get fairly nervous on first dates..it been a long time since i've kissed anyone other than my girlfreind of 7 years that i broke up with 4-5mo ago and just kinda out of practice..I talked with some guys at work and thy pointed out that they think she thought i was having a bad time..and ended the date prematurley..after hanging for 3 hours we left the resturaunt and i wanted to take her out for some drinks..but the check from the resturaunt just about cashed out any extra money i had..and she told me before we went out that she had to work the next day..i asked if she was tired..and she said no....right away she said she guessed she could go home..(i took as time to take her home...) My freinds think i made it seem as though i didn't have a good time by asking if she was tired..ha ha..poor thing..then i shook her hand when we got back to her house..she insisted on a hug and I took off..Kal0051 said:
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
