Ordered an outcall (escort) to my house last night.

[Murk]

I directed her across the street opposite while watching, recording and masturbating from my window. Her driver (some Sergey) tried to get me to collect her from the car, I told him that ain't happening.

Then directed her to my doorstep, she looked nice, I invite her in.

She doesn't speak much English, looked nothing like the pics (although still kinda hot) so I turn her away and get her out my house and came while she left (and saved £130).

Why have I done this? The thrill made it worthwhile, I came on my inside doormat while watching her walk away through the spyhole. I can't help but think I have a problem. That's why I'm admitting to this here. I'm not starved of sex or desperate, I think at one point I was addicted to sex, now I'm just a thrill seeker.

In Mexico I travelled to a dangerous area to sleep with a Canadian blonde prostitute for $150, she even commented how brave I was to come so far into scumbag town.

I have another arranged for Thursday, I have a girlfriend I love sex with, but this... inclination... I've had for 10 years and it doesn't seem to be going away. Is this something I should speak to my therapist about?

Inviting trouble to my own home is a red flag that I'm overlooking to get my kicks, this can't be normal behaviour.

 

[Barrister]

If not for the fact you have been a member here since 2017 I would seriously think this was a troll post.

Yes, it is time to speak to your therapist about this behavior. As far as I know, none of us here are psychologists or therapists to help you with this. I am guessing something that happened during your childhood is making you feel like you need to take risks to feel fulfilled. I don't need a degree in psychology to tell you that this isn't healthy behavior.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I'd stick to crapping on Americans, probably safer..

 

[EyeBRollin]

Never at your house bruh. That’s just stupid, OP.

Your inclination is biological. You just happen to be weaker at resisting it than others. IMO let chicks know up front how you move before getting into an LTR with them.

I reckon prostitute addiction is a thing. There are guys that all they bang are pros. Not worth it IMO. Not for morality reasons but for practical and legal reasons.

 

[Gamisch]

Asking the question is like giving yourself the answer sometimes.

Nothing wrong with therapy. Like the post above says, it is kinda risky getting a es or to your crib like this. She might as wel tell Sergey and friends to go after you. This is risky behaviour and might get you in serious trouble. I think it has more to do with you chasing the thrill then anything else. Just be careful you dont get addicted to this thrill, your money is better spend elsewhere.

 

[corrector]

Wise choice. You dodged a bullet. Suppose you got an STD? Did you talk with her? What country did she come from? How long has she been here? Does she like it here? Then kick her out. You must use this as an opportunity to practise your social skills.

 

[BeExcellent]

Murk I gotta agree with the guy above who said be careful. Pimps will not take kindly to you wasting their time & resources…and now they know where you live. That’s less than ideal.

Couple questions for you to ponder…

Does your girlfriend know about this inclination and if not how would she receive that revelation? Would she be able to see it for what it is or would she categorize it as cheating?

I’m asking that because I wonder if A. Can you fully share/show who you are with her…and B. If she could serve as a source of strength if you really want to deal with it to resolution.

I mean let’s be real. Guys like a good perv every once in a while…your manifestation is a dangerous risk taking variety of same…so yah your therapist can assist you in sorting out the source or root of that extreme in the behavior.

You have risk taking thrill seeking and addictive type behavioral patterns. You already know all that. This is a variety of that but it does originate somewhere.

If the idea of your girlfriend knowing freaks you out or if you feel duplicitous in existing in one manner while having a whole other side to your psyche, consider that you are hiding in large measure who you really are, what really turns you on and so forth…are these things rooted in shame? A chip on your shoulder? A need to rebel against what you “should” be doing according to some nebulous “They” out there? These are things many individuals deal with…and it’s a matter of coping. You’re not going to damp it down and successfully repress it. Look where you are. It ain’t working.

No judgement mind. Just some food for thought. Often things show up in an individual’s behavior that is creating or reacting to a familiar script. It’s like a weed. You gotta rip it out by the roots if you want to get rid of it, and then you’ve got to supplant that space with something healthy that inspires your genuine engagement.

In short yes on therapy. Meanwhile be bloody careful!!

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

In Mexico I travelled to a dangerous area to sleep with a Canadian blonde prostitute for $150, she even commented how brave I was to come so far into scumbag town.

You remind me of a movie with Fassbender who played a sex addict.

Dude would always put himself in very precarious situations and barely get out alive.

Something horrible happened to him as a kid they kept alluding to.

You also sort of remind me of a dude a knew a long time ago, that I hung out with ONCE.

He was complaining that his parents didn't understand him and he wanted to "show them" a thing or do by doing something terrible and going to jail.

Part of you is inviting danger, real danger into your life for some reason.

Maybe figure out why and fix it?

 

[Murk]

Murk I gotta agree with the guy above who said be careful. Pimps will not take kindly to you wasting their time & resources…and now they know where you live. That’s less than ideal.

Couple questions for you to ponder…

Does your girlfriend know about this inclination and if not how would she receive that revelation? Would she be able to see it for what it is or would she categorize it as cheating?

I’m asking that because I wonder if A. Can you fully share/show who you are with her…and B. If she could serve as a source of strength if you really want to deal with it to resolution.

I mean let’s be real. Guys like a good perv every once in a while…your manifestation is a dangerous risk taking variety of same…so yah your therapist can assist you in sorting out the source or root of that extreme in the behavior.

You have risk taking thrill seeking and addictive type behavioral patterns. You already know all that. This is a variety of that but it does originate somewhere.

If the idea of your girlfriend knowing freaks you out or if you feel duplicitous in existing in one manner while having a whole other side to your psyche, consider that you are hiding in large measure who you really are, what really turns you on and so forth…are these things rooted in shame? A chip on your shoulder? A need to rebel against what you “should” be doing according to some nebulous “They” out there? These are things many individuals deal with…and it’s a matter of coping. You’re not going to damp it down and successfully repress it. Look where you are. It ain’t working.

No judgement mind. Just some food for thought. Often things show up in an individual’s behavior that is creating or reacting to a familiar script. It’s like a weed. You gotta rip it out by the roots if you want to get rid of it, and then you’ve got to supplant that space with something healthy that inspires your genuine engagement.

In short yes on therapy. Meanwhile be bloody careful!!

I've told her I've used escorts but she would see it as cheating if I did it while with her. She knows I enjoy and have had lots of sex and comments "you love a little slag (slut)" which I do. With the escorts it's literally the risk and thrill I enjoy, not so much the sex, doing something bad, how relatively cheap it is now I earn a good income. I've been very strong in holding off the past couple of years, these feelings do fade and subside then reappear.

You remind me of a movie with Fassbender who played a sex addict.

Dude would always put himself in very precarious situations and barely get out alive.

Something horrible happened to him as a kid they kept alluding to.

You also sort of remind me of a dude a knew a long time ago, that I hung out with ONCE.

He was complaining that his parents didn't understand him and he wanted to "show them" a thing or do by doing something terrible and going to jail.

Part of you is inviting danger, real danger into your life for some reason.

Maybe figure out why and fix it?

I've suffed abuse as a child and both my parents are no longer alive, my childhood was not good, hence the therapy and later drink/drug abuse (which I've curtailed). That guy sounds just like me, not just with sex, but in life. My therapist said I have no impulse control, plus with my ADHD, it's not good.

 

[Plinco]

@Murk I appreciate your honesty here but you'd better be g**d**m careful. You should tell your therapist this and work to put an end to this behavior. Have you checked yourself for any STD's?

 

[Gamisch]

I've told her I've used escorts but she would see it as cheating if I did it while with her. She knows I enjoy and have had lots of sex and comments "you love a little slag (slut)" which I do. With the escorts it's literally the risk and thrill I enjoy, not so much the sex, doing something bad, how relatively cheap it is now I earn a good income. I've been very strong in holding off the past couple of years, these feelings do fade and subside then reappear.


I've suffed abuse as a child and both my parents are no longer alive, my childhood was not good, hence the therapy and later drink/drug abuse (which I've curtailed). That guy sounds just like me, not just with sex, but in life. My therapist said I have no impulse control, plus with my ADHD, it's not good.

In my language they say something like: the bigger the mind, the bigger the beast .

Dont be too hard on yourself bro. Its not even a mistake because basically nothing went horribly wrong. It's just risky behaviour that may lead to a path of self destruction. Try to find the thrill elsewhere, there's plenty of safer options to explore.

Put this pandora box in the trashcan
if possible, the solution is within you.

 

[bat soup]

I directed her across the street opposite while watching, recording and masturbating from my window. Her driver (some Sergey) tried to get me to collect her from the car, I told him that ain't happening.

Then directed her to my doorstep, she looked nice, I invite her in.

She doesn't speak much English, looked nothing like the pics (although still kinda hot) so I turn her away and get her out my house and came while she left (and saved £130).

Why have I done this? The thrill made it worthwhile, I came on my inside doormat while watching her walk away through the spyhole. I can't help but think I have a problem. That's why I'm admitting to this here. I'm not starved of sex or desperate, I think at one point I was addicted to sex, now I'm just a thrill seeker.

In Mexico I travelled to a dangerous area to sleep with a Canadian blonde prostitute for $150, she even commented how brave I was to come so far into scumbag town.

I have another arranged for Thursday, I have a girlfriend I love sex with, but this... inclination... I've had for 10 years and it doesn't seem to be going away. Is this something I should speak to my therapist about?

Inviting trouble to my own home is a red flag that I'm overlooking to get my kicks, this can't be normal behaviour.

If this is true then you're going to get yourself into some serious trouble sooner or later.

Not all pimps take kindly to having their time wasted. And you should be more careful about who you give your home address.

 

[Slowhandluke]

If this is true then you're going to get yourself into some serious trouble sooner or later.

Not all pimps take kindly to having their time wasted. And you should be more careful about who you give your home address.

The sex worker community is not as big as you think it is. Unless you keep on changing your ph# or your location, they as a community will get wise to you. They are not idiots and from what I hear, they do share information.

Yeah, you should get professional help. Antagonizing people, any people, is a sure why to get yourself hurt sooner or later.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Wise choice. You dodged a bullet. Suppose you got an STD?

The odds of a male catching an STD from a female sex worker through vaginal sex with a condom are infinitesimal.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

I reckon prostitute addiction is a thing. There are guys that all they bang are pros. Not worth it IMO. Not for morality reasons but for practical and legal reasons.

Seeing escorts is legal in some countries and jurisdictions though and for guys who do not have time to deal with a woman's BS and rather just get right to sex, I can see it as being a practical solution. Depends heavily on jurisdiction and laws though.

 

[corrector]

The odds of a male catching an STD from a female sex worker through vaginal sex with a condom are infinitesimal.

I guess that depends what the "D" means on STD.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I guess that depends what the "D" means on STD.

No. These are facts. Vaginal sex is just not a large vector of disease transmission.

 

[Fruitbat]

Interesting to see the relative freedoms we have based on where we are at. Its only illegal here if 1. It’s in a brothel or 2. It’s in public. Escort agencies are legal as are independent escorts.

The only time you’d worry about criminal pimps are the street girls who are nearly all addicts and very cheap, and usually used by very poor dudes or guys who won’t get real escorts to come e.g some minorities.

it’s quite shocking the US, in many ways more free, has these rules. You can happily own an AK47 but can’t hire an escort legally….odd.

despite its decriminalised here, the social taboo is strong hence its still embarrassing if your neighbours saw hookers turning up.

I understand how the thrill is intoxicating. I mean, youre getting what you want, there’s a power thrill there.

being married this isn’t an option for me but I think it’s the same as eating a massive junk food meal. It’s fun, and dopamine flows but afterwards there’s a sense you’re killing your self and a slave to impulse.

it may make normal relations with women strained when you’re used to sex being a transactional series of acts, negotiated upfront with a partner who is wholly uninvested.

 

[corrector]

No. These are facts. Vaginal sex is just not a large vector of disease transmission.

You thought I was talking about diseases?

 

[Murk]

The sex worker community is not as big as you think it is. Unless you keep on changing your ph# or your location, they as a community will get wise to you. They are not idiots and from what I hear, they do share information.

Yeah, you should get professional help. Antagonizing people, any people, is a sure why to get yourself hurt sooner or later.

I have multiple burner phones and SIM cards for various things.

Interesting to see the relative freedoms we have based on where we are at. Its only illegal here if 1. It’s in a brothel or 2. It’s in public. Escort agencies are legal as are independent escorts.

The only time you’d worry about criminal pimps are the street girls who are nearly all addicts and very cheap, and usually used by very poor dudes or guys who won’t get real escorts to come e.g some minorities.

it’s quite shocking the US, in many ways more free, has these rules. You can happily own an AK47 but can’t hire an escort legally….odd.

despite its decriminalised here, the social taboo is strong hence its still embarrassing if your neighbours saw hookers turning up.

I understand how the thrill is intoxicating. I mean, youre getting what you want, there’s a power thrill there.

being married this isn’t an option for me but I think it’s the same as eating a massive junk food meal. It’s fun, and dopamine flows but afterwards there’s a sense you’re killing your self and a slave to impulse.

it may make normal relations with women strained when you’re used to sex being a transactional series of acts, negotiated upfront with a partner who is wholly uninvested.

Yes it’s totally legal here in the UK and lots of friends and work colleagues have used “brasses” if you’re single with no kids there’s really not much social taboo doing cocaine and escorts in London if you earn a decent amount.