"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Opinion please !!

Weaselpuke

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A few years back I met this woman, at the time a really liked her. Nothing ever happen though. It turns out all the time I was hanging out with here see was involved in a serious relationship. For some reason she decided to never mention her boyfriend though.. Never figured that one out. So in your opinion why does a woman who is involved with someone not mention them?

Heck they ened up getting married ,, Just wondering ???


Thanks
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Slickster

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It strokes her ego to have you interested in her even while she's involved with someone else. These kind of chicks prey on suckers who think they have a chance.

Guys who take things really slow and figure they'll be friends first and hope for more later end up just being friends and go home at night to clutch their pillows.

This is also why going for a kiss early on cuts thru a whole wad of bullshyt.
 
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Originally posted by Slickster
It strokes her ego to have you interested in her even while she's involved with someone else. These kind of chicks prey on suckers who think they have a chance.

Guys who take things really slow and figure they'll be friends first and hope for more later end up just being friends and go home at night to clutch their pillows.

This is also why going for a kiss early on cuts thru a whole wad of bullshyt.
I agree.
 

Lola

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For the same reason you wouldnt tell someone that you had a girlfriend. She wanted to keep her options open because she wasnt sure there wasnt something better out there.
 

Skel

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Indeed. Men and women alike are all looking to "upgrade"
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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NewMan

Master Don Juan
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It depends on the situation...

Define hanging out.

Did you meet her through work?

Were you going out on dates? to bars/clubs - to movies?

I've meet plenty of women through work - some I've done lunch with, some gone to drinks after work with - and this doesn't mean I want them....

So it depends on the situation.
 

Genghis Juan

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Weasel,

I don't know the details of your interactions with this girl, but I think you may have been overanalyzing the situation. Just because a girl doesn't bring up her BF or SO, doesn't necessarily mean that she is evaluating you with the ulterior motive to dumb him to get you. Especially if she wasn't kino'ing you or flirting with you in very explicit ways.

Then again, even if she was, I don't think you would want to get involved with a girl who is always on the lookout for the "Bigger Better Deal" (BBD). Once she hooks up with you, what goes around, comes around.
 

( . )( . )

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Originally posted by Slickster
It strokes her ego to have you interested in her even while she's involved with someone else. These kind of chicks prey on suckers who think they have a chance.

Guys who take things really slow and figure they'll be friends first and hope for more later end up just being friends and go home at night to clutch their pillows.

This is also why going for a kiss early on cuts thru a whole wad of bullshyt.
this is the best reply your going to get. Just recognise your fvckups and learn from them so you know for next time.

and to answer your "why didnt she mention her boyfriend?". Because that would turn you off, inturn jeopardising her ego being stroked by you if she mentioned the borefriend.

simple as that.

and like slickster said go for the kiss close early and the fvck close by the 3rd meeting. Its a great general rule for cutting out time wasting.
 
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Westcoaster - do guys actually 'clutch' their pillows?? That is something that women do, no? :confused:
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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