"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Opinion: Kino early on is not necessary if you otherwise escalate

Trunks

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Back in the day, I was super mis-calibrated and kino was not a natural thing for me. Well, as I learned some from experience and others' advice, I became comfortable flirting and showing my interest without coming on too strong. Maybe that's why I strayed from the advice to do kino when you are getting to know the girl.

Here's what I do: I usually just go on the first date, and if after flirting and banter I decide I am liking the girl (and I sense she is enjoying the date too), I will stop her when we walk from one venue to another and kiss her. This works for me most of the time and I don't kino before that. After the first kiss, touching and escalating physically just feel natural in general and I can pace it based on my reading of the girl.

I am sure that kino early on works for the many guys who advocate it, but I wanted to say that IMO it's not necessary as long as there is mutual interest and you keep having fun during the date.

Thoughts?
 
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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TheMonkeyKing

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What's going to happen when you get naked? You're going to be physically touching each other.

If there isn't much short term chemistry, don't touch her just for the sake of it and make yourself look like a creep.

Otherwise, unless you want to get friend-zoned or flaked on, I'd say it's pretty much a necessity to escalate physically and in the short term.
 

Trunks

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Maybe I wasn't clear in my wording. Yes, I do touch her after the first kiss, but not before. This isn't a rule but more of a projection of how into it I usually feel about someone I barely know.
 
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RangerMIke

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If touching does not come naturally to you, you come off as a creepy. If you can communicate your sexual interest with eye contact that is the best way to go when you first meet a woman. If you can wait until she touches you first, you get much better results.
 

Trunks

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If touching does not come naturally to you, you come off as a creepy. If you can communicate your sexual interest with eye contact that is the best way to go when you first meet a woman. If you can wait until she touches you first, you get much better results.
Exactly. That is how I show sexual interest from the start: mainly through eye contact. Body language and tone are close seconds. Combined with being direct, I find this makes up for not touching girls much at the beginning in my case. YMMV
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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