"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Opinion: Kino early on is not necessary if you otherwise escalate

Trunks

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Back in the day, I was super mis-calibrated and kino was not a natural thing for me. Well, as I learned some from experience and others' advice, I became comfortable flirting and showing my interest without coming on too strong. Maybe that's why I strayed from the advice to do kino when you are getting to know the girl.

Here's what I do: I usually just go on the first date, and if after flirting and banter I decide I am liking the girl (and I sense she is enjoying the date too), I will stop her when we walk from one venue to another and kiss her. This works for me most of the time and I don't kino before that. After the first kiss, touching and escalating physically just feel natural in general and I can pace it based on my reading of the girl.

I am sure that kino early on works for the many guys who advocate it, but I wanted to say that IMO it's not necessary as long as there is mutual interest and you keep having fun during the date.

Thoughts?
 
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"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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TheMonkeyKing

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What's going to happen when you get naked? You're going to be physically touching each other.

If there isn't much short term chemistry, don't touch her just for the sake of it and make yourself look like a creep.

Otherwise, unless you want to get friend-zoned or flaked on, I'd say it's pretty much a necessity to escalate physically and in the short term.
 

Trunks

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Maybe I wasn't clear in my wording. Yes, I do touch her after the first kiss, but not before. This isn't a rule but more of a projection of how into it I usually feel about someone I barely know.
 
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RangerMIke

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If touching does not come naturally to you, you come off as a creepy. If you can communicate your sexual interest with eye contact that is the best way to go when you first meet a woman. If you can wait until she touches you first, you get much better results.
 

Trunks

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If touching does not come naturally to you, you come off as a creepy. If you can communicate your sexual interest with eye contact that is the best way to go when you first meet a woman. If you can wait until she touches you first, you get much better results.
Exactly. That is how I show sexual interest from the start: mainly through eye contact. Body language and tone are close seconds. Combined with being direct, I find this makes up for not touching girls much at the beginning in my case. YMMV
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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