"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Read more...

online vague question...?

glass half full

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So I found someone online i'm interested in. 40 yo,. quite pretty, slim, smart, and close to home (an hour away)
I've noticed younger posters seem vague compared to girls my age -60
Her response- "hi tell me about you"
Just like that. I don't know how to respond- What does she really want to know?
Probably sounds obvious to someone (I hope...)
I have not been involved in the dating game for several years, I may have forgotten some of what I learned here in previous years.
This situation kind of fell into my lap.

Thoughts?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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BackInTheGame78

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Sounds like a disinterested response to be honest.

Don't qualify yourself to her, just let her know you'd be interested in getting to know her better.

iMO, those questions are the type of questions asked by women hoping you disqualify yourself without them having to do any work.
 

SW15

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close to home (an hour away)
It sounds like your logistics are crap. Why bother for a woman that far away?

Sounds like a disinterested response to be honest.
Agree.

those questions are the type of questions asked by women hoping you disqualify yourself without them having to do any work.
Yes

I have not been involved in the dating game for several years, I may have forgotten some of what I learned here in previous years.
Sounds like it.
 

Gamisch

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Oh sh1t. Online dating in a nutshell...
 

glass half full

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As for finding someone closer, Understand that I live in the Midwest.. Decent sized towns are easily a half hour apart, and this town is a big one. Not like I can just go walk down the street to a bar and find a piece... Lol would be nice though.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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BackInTheGame78

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As for finding someone closer, Understand that I live in the Midwest.. Decent sized towns are easily a half hour apart, and this town is a big one. Not like I can just go walk down the street to a bar and find a piece... Lol would be nice though.
So essentially you are desperate. This is going to end well...
 

Clockwerk50

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Not sure why you are so infatuated with someone that you haven’t even had a full convo on. Just send a witty response to see if she bites and wants the game to begin. It takes 2 to tango…

“my name is gigachad and I love ice cream and long walks in the middle of the street. You?”
 

glass half full

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Never claimed to be infatuated with this one. Just a question...

Oh, the over-reactions here. Last I knew, Spaz was the resident hotshot here.
Looks like he has been offering classes.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Clockwerk50

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Never claimed to be infatuated with this one. Just a question...

Oh, the over-reactions here. Last I knew, Spaz was the resident hotshot here.
Looks like he has been offering classes.
If you're not infatuated, then why do you seem unsure how to respond? It feels like you're worried about dropping the ball, which might suggest infatuation.

You are not only overthinking this (don’t claim that you are not) but you are being overtly sensitive and passive aggressive about the situation.
 
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Clockwerk50

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Jesus Christ!

Ok. I was wrong to come here.
Did we say something THAT bad to prompt such a defensive, patronizing response? I’m not sure what kind of answer you were expecting. I don’t think I was being mean, I was just offering my honest perspective and how to game her. It seems like your reaction might be more about your sensitivity or insecurities than anything harsh in my words.

Let’s hope she doesn’t try to sh!t test you…
 

BackInTheGame78

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So, now this place lets anyone be a Mod now, huh!
With your reply, sounds like you're not capable of being an expert Don Juan yourself. Good Luck, Friar Duck.
Great response....I'm not the one saying you need to figure out a way to make it work because you live in a small area. That is the mindset of a desperate man.

A mindset of lack can never lead to a place of abundance.
 

SW15

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As for finding someone closer, Understand that I live in the Midwest.. Decent sized towns are easily a half hour apart, and this town is a big one. Not like I can just go walk down the street to a bar and find a piece... Lol would be nice though.
You need to move. You sound like you are some older guy in a town with a population of 50,000 - 200,000. 200,000 is about the minimum population that an adult needs to date effectively as he ages.

A lot of older people live in smaller towns that simply aren't going to work for meeting new people.

You're 60. You could be living in one of those massive 55+ communities in Florida or Arizona. There is a singles scene in those 55+ communities in Florida and Arizona, although the majority of the 55+ communities are aging couples.

If you don't want to live in a 55+ community, there's a good chance that you need to live in a bigger city to have more singles available near your age.

How rich are you? 60 year olds are going to need money to date 40 year olds.

Many 40-45 year old women who are unattached and seeking new penis are single moms with children under 18. How excited are you for dealing with children under 18 at ages 60-65?

Dating women with adult children isn't fun either.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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BeExcellent

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Advice from the old lady:

The reality is that you'll need to move. I got divorced from my first husband while living in a small midwest town (under 25 thousand people). My first husband and I had met in a large metro area heavy on nightlife. The small town was fine for us and for child rearing while we were married; the singles scene was horrible after divorce (and I'm a very attractive girl so every single guy who I found unattractive from 32 to 82 was interested in me.....) I relocated to a large metro with a thriving singles scene. I was 45 when the divorce occurred and am 56 now. I am remarried to a very attractive man who is 8 years younger than me (so I was able to compete in a large metro market very effectively).....

My first husband still lives in the small town. He has never gotten laid in 11 years, never had a girlfriend. He's 58. And he was a sexy nightclub owner with style, panache & moxy when we met 25+ years ago.

The women who are single in a small town environment are swarmed if they are attractive. Women in a large metro an hour from the small town are not interested in giving up the amenities of the city either unless you are a rich Chad (which is highly unlikely at 60.)

@Bible_Belt is in a midwestern rural area if memory serves. He has found attractive women in that situation. And @Glassguy is also in a smaller area and he slays. He's also younger than 50. Perhaps they will chime in. Not sure Spaz would give advice much different than you've already gotten, but he'd certainly have been extremely blunt.

Why would an attractive 40 year old consider a man 20 years older? That is a legit question worth a response.

You may need to seriously consider relocation. But let's see what others have to say.
 

SW15

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You may need to seriously consider relocation. But let's see what others have to say.
It's good that you see things similarly to me on the topic of @glass half full and his relocation.

I got divorced from my first husband while living in a small midwest town (under 25 thousand people). The small town was fine for us and for child rearing while we were married; the singles scene was horrible after divorce (and I'm a very attractive girl so every single guy who I found unattractive from 32 to 82 was interested in me.....)

My first husband still lives in the small town. He has never gotten laid in 11 years, never had a girlfriend. He's 58. And he was a sexy nightclub owner with style, panache & moxy when we met 25+ years ago.
That small town in the US Midwest would only make sense for married couples with families. You did the right thing by moving away from there. Your ex-husband made the wrong decision by not moving away from there.

You could have had a boyfriend as a single mom in that small Midwestern town. Dating would have been easier for you there as compared to your ex-husband. However, you wanted to better singles scene and a better selection of future dating partners.
 

Sega Genesis

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So I found someone online i'm interested in. 40 yo,. quite pretty, slim, smart, and close to home (an hour away)
I've noticed younger posters seem vague compared to girls my age -60
Her response- "hi tell me about you"
Just like that. I don't know how to respond- What does she really want to know?

Probably sounds obvious to someone (I hope...)
I have not been involved in the dating game for several years, I may have forgotten some of what I learned here in previous years.
This situation kind of fell into my lap.

Thoughts?
Answering the question.

Bolded - probably nothing specific at this point, it's simply a way to prompt a conversation, pretty typical of online.

I'm not gonna tell ya how to respond only to say if you can think of a funny retort to make her chuckle that's a good start!

Nothing heavy and let the convo flow naturally and organically.

I'm in my 30s and when I did online, I received messages from some very attractive men 50-60ish so don't rule out that she finds you attractive! As another poster suggested.

That's a defeatist attitude right there and It will only bring you down and make it harder to connect.

You've been out of the game for awhile so you're bound to make some misses but keep going!

With this chick, keep it light and if you're vibing well, suggest a meet asap.

Good luck!
 
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The Duke

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So I found someone online i'm interested in. 40 yo,. quite pretty, slim, smart, and close to home (an hour away)
I've noticed younger posters seem vague compared to girls my age -60
Her response- "hi tell me about you"
Just like that. I don't know how to respond- What does she really want to know?
Probably sounds obvious to someone (I hope...)
I have not been involved in the dating game for several years, I may have forgotten some of what I learned here in previous years.
This situation kind of fell into my lap.

Thoughts?
I'd say something like.....doing great, I just received the Bumble Bee of the month award(assuming you are on Bumble.) ;-)

I see you are into (insert her hobby), looks like you have been to some cool places. How did you get interested in that?

Stop thinking so much. Yes, its pretty common for women to say things like "hi tell me about you" for all the reasons previous posters mentioned. Usually its low interest, but it doesn't hurt to find out for sure.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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