"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Online hottie TOO crazy about me

B

Bonhomme

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I want to sound you guys out on a weird situation. I've been emailing this very cute (based on the pics) gal I met online who is so openly crazy for me it makes me wonder what the catch is, or whether she just has absolutely no dating sophistication. I've usually taken several days to get back with her, on account of my being pretty busy, and not having a lot of time for emails. She does praise me for "not nagging or goofing unnecessarily." Must be used to a lot of hardcore AFCs.

I thought she was Russian at first, because she writes in somewhat broken English, but she's provided more personal details, and would have to be a very determined and creative individual to maintain the ruse for so long, knowing I have no intention of dating someone who does not live nearby. So I doubt she's writing from overseas at this point. Still, being supposedly a professional writer and writing in semi-broken English (e.g., "do you like career woman?") doesn't add up.

We haven't even met yet, or even talked on the phone, though I gave her my # and asked for hers, which she did not provide.

I'm obviously still highly skeptical, but am wondering if any of you have had a similar experience. Supposedly she's out of town on an assignment now. For now, I'm just enjoying the emails, and keeping expecttions way down.

Any thoughts as to what to expect?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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B

Bonhomme

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That's exactly what I'm thinking, Egoist.

I'm wondering what kind of terminal illness or STD she has ... or something like that. Huntington's? Maybe making too much of having herpes? A Russian gal who knows somebody here, and is on a visit?
 
M

MacAvoy

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Sounds like to me she is baiting you to go to some pay site. Normally they don't go through this much work but with everyone onto their tricks, there probably having to work harder for their scams now.

Don't waste any more time till you get a number. I forget who mentioned it, but you have to get away from online ASAP otherwise you don't get to work no kino, etc... you'll be in LJBF zone.

Talking too much too early is bad.
 
F

Francisco d'Anconia

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It's situations like this that gives online dating a bad name. Guys should stop becoming romantic "pen pals" with women and actually get out and meet them. It shouldn't takes weeks at a time if she's truly interested in you. As it is all you are offering her is a ego boost.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Bonhomme

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That makes sense. I could see not making arrangements the last time I suggested we get together on account of her going out of town (supposedly), but if we don't meet soon after she returns, NEXT.

I'll keep you posted on where this goes. Thanks for the input.
 
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