Online dating pre-flake?

[RickTheToad]

This lady messaged me and after two messages, she gave me a phone number. I actually asked to meet for drinks first, but she wanted to speak on the phone first. I called, but went to VM. We finally spoke last night. Our call kept on getting disconnected and she nor me knew why. I did a little more digging on her number, and she was using a MatchPhone number to conceal her real number. I guess it is fine, but that was why we were being disconnected. Either myself or her had to keep on calling each other back. She blamed it on Verizon, but it's the fake MatchPhone number she was using. I didn't call her out, as it was pointless. We talked for about 20 mins and seemed to have similar interests, so I suggested we meet for a drink since we're having issues with the phone. She agreed and offered either Friday or Sunday, I selected Friday and sent her a text of the address to where we're going to meet.

An hour later, keep in mind, we spoke at 9pm, she texted me a paragraph stating one of her best friends just received a certificate or something and wants to celebrate this weekend with her so she's going to have to take a rain check. I replied back a this afternoon, no problem. Another time then.

Nothing seems to jive here. Games? Just curious what the community thinks.

 

[Billtx49]

Your big clue there is her using a Match phone to keep her real number anonymous. Not very straight forward and serious of her is it… Don’t expect anything there.

 

[RickTheToad]

When I first called, I received the VM stating the text mail subscriber is unavailable, so I just hung up. I then e-mailed Match support to inform them of a scam profile and they replied stating it was a Matchphone user. The lady is in the same location as me, and we both use Verizon, so I thought that VM notice was a weird one. The phone disconnects also was very puzzling. Her excuse was it was a Verizon issue and she was having it on and off all day.
With this Matchphone, you cannot even have a conversation. It was a horrible connection.

Wish I knew why they play these games. Damn shame as she was close by.

 

[The Duke]

Of course she blamed it on Verizon......she wouldn't want to admit to using a Match number to help conceal her identity!

They play these games because of doubt/fear/bad experiences/weakness/irrational mindset/low interest/you're not George Clooney/their girlfriend told them so/control.

I wouldn't buy her excuse. This is low interest from the start. Girls that have high interest will make it REALLY easy.

The only solution is to stop feeding these trolls. Delete them at the first sign of flakey bs. If she didn't have 20 other guys blowing her up that week she wouldn't be so difficult to deal with.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

As crazy as the online dating world is, there is no reason she needs to use a phone masking service. If she's nervous about giving her phone number out to a stranger, she simply doesn't have to give her phone number out. I've gone on plenty of dates from online dating matches where the phone number wasn't asked for or provided until after the date happened and we were both interested in seeing each other again. She shouldn't need to talk with you on the phone before a date and I wouldn't invest that amount of time into a girl I just met online anyway. It's perfectly safe to meet at a public place, without talking on the phone, and without providing a phone number.

Who knows the real reasons she was doing it, but I'd take it as a red flag and just forget about her.

 

[RickTheToad]

I didn't even ask for her number. She wanted to speak first. It took two weeks to speak on the phone. I actually forgot about her until she messaged me yesterday offering to speak. Each excuse was given in detail. At least a paragraph long. Not sure if she's paranoid, nervous or what. She said she's only been on two dates, and both wanted to go back to her place on the first date. Just a strange situation. First the matchphone. Second, agreeing to a date at around 9:00pm, and then 10:10 I receive a message saying:

"One of my best friends just passed her certification tests and she’d like to celebrate this weekend. I’m sorry. I think that I need to take a raincheck on our meet." All of a sudden at 10:10pm?

I wonder if all these ladies think all men are stupid and dense. She is quite attractive, and it seemed, since she messaged me there was interest. I guess she's just doing things for attention. This was a first for me.

 

[lizardking82]

She thought it was a good idea at first, then she regretted it and came up with some bullsh1t excuse. If she didn't offer another day and hour for a date, this one's done and dusted, move on.

 

[Billtx49]

I guess she's just doing things for attention. This was a first for me.

Yes, you probably latched onto an attention wh0re.…
She put up her personal roadblock hoops for you to jump through, just wanted to talk, then flaked on the date proposal.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I bet if you went to her apartment, she would have pulled up in a car with a tranny in the passenger seat and demanded you get in and close the door.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Nothing seems to jive here. Games? Just curious what the community thinks.

You can #nextset or you can follow up. Ideally, pickup hotter, younger, thinner, fitter girls.

If you're not hitting it, someone else is.

 

[Dash Riprock]

No disrespect to anyone in particular, and I don't know if it's just me, but the "advice" lately on SS has really hit a new low.

A few things on this post and thread:

1- It's SMART to NOT use your actual phone number in online dating. OLD is loaded with scammers and fakes. We all know this. I do OLD and use a (out of state area code) Google Voice number for all calling and texting. Why the f*uck would you give a total stranger you haven't even met yet, except for a few OLD messages, your actual phone number? The woman is SMART to use a Match.com number. And maybe the Match.com call quality sucked, or maybe it WAS your or her cell network provider. Bad calls happen, so what.

2-This is right out of biology and psychology 101 class but women have more to consider in OLD, IRL dating, and sex--than men. Google and research if you need me to elaborate or you if just don't get it.

3- ANYONE who wants to indulge in OLD needs to remain as anonymous as possible early on until you meet and establish a level of comfort and trust. I don't tell OLD people my real name (I'm Dash until then) until well into date one or two. It's only smart. It ain't 1954 anymore folks...

4- She has a friend whom she knows a lot better than you (you haven't even f*ucking met yet!) who wants to celebrate. Great, you can do another time. You're NOT #1 on her priority list. Try to schedule something later. If she's elusive, THEN next her, but giver her a chance or two.

The woman in question here is not flaky, unauthentic, whatever. IMO, she's playing it smart.

 

[RickTheToad]

Perhaps. It wasn't my phone. As I had a call with another lady 30 mins before. It was crystal clear. The point was agreeing to a date, then making some lame excuse which is pretty obvious that it was BS. If it was true, then another time/date would had been offered. If you recall, she originally offered Friday or Sunday. Notice, she didn't offer another day/time.

It's okay, just venting. Just tired of the games. Games as in not necessarily the phone, but the BS back-out. If you're not interested, no problem, just say it. I do it and would prefer the same to me. It's really not that hard.

Dash, if a woman will meet you w/o knowing your first name, then more power to you. It seems many are always on guard these days to give no info about themselves.

 

[marmel75]

She got a better offer. You weren't high enough on her list. Such is life.

 

[The Diver]

I don't tell OLD people my real name (I'm Dash until then) until well into date one or two.

I highly regard your advices, but this one is paranoia.
(Btw, how anyone can know, your real name is actually your real name, and not a fake one? )

 

[flowtheory]

Toad, you care too much about what happens with these women. Line up like 3-5 dates in one week and it will teach you not to scrutinize or care too much.

 

[RickTheToad]

Toad, you care too much about what happens with these women. Line up like 3-5 dates in one week and it will teach you not to scrutinize or care too much.

Not really, just trying to understand their thought process. I swear, just an hour ago, she texts me, Rick, I am sorry. WTF? I deleted it as I do entertain ladies who play games. I do not orbit. No interest, move on.

 

[Igetit!]

Not really, just trying to understand their thought process. I swear, just an hour ago, she texts me, Rick, I am sorry. WTF? I deleted it as I do entertain ladies who play games. I do not orbit. No interest, move on.

What did she apologize for?

What......cause her friend wants her to celebrate getting her certification with her? What's wrong with that?

That's what I would have answered back.

Yes, I know her excuse is probably a bunch of BS,but I'd still go along with it. I'd like to see just how many lies and excuses she tries to come up with before guilt start to set in. And before anybody says she doesn't have any guilt,if your notice she did come here and apologize to Rick.

I would have replied back. I would said it's cool, told her to enjoy celebrating with her friend, and said maybe we can try again another time.

I wouldn't have said another word after that,and I would have moved on to the next girl.

 

[Poonani Maker]

I just logged on to plentyofwh0res for the 1st in a year I guess. What gets me is the PhD who "gets up late," and loves to seek out a "new restaurant" and "explore," blah blah. I mean, she says nothing of her money-making, now 37 yrs old, "undecided" on kids. I mean showing no seriousness about what she has to offer THREE YEARS from 40. Lah de dah skipping along, all-is-well mindset. So many on there either carry-on luggaged with kids or wasting (and quite possibly debt straddled unless rich parents) their reproductive years. Actually I've recently read/heard that 16 yrs of age is the BEST reproductive year of All females. Many of them are twice past that having schooled themselves out of the gene pool.

 

[RickTheToad]

What did she apologize for?

What......cause her friend wants her to celebrate getting her certification with her? What's wrong with that?

That's what I would have answered back.

Yes, I know her excuse is probably a bunch of BS,but I'd still go along with it. I'd like to see just how many lies and excuses she tries to come up with before guilt start to set in. And before anybody says she doesn't have any guilt,if your notice she did come here and apologize to Rick.

I would have replied back. I would said it's cool, told her to enjoy celebrating with her friend, and said maybe we can try again another time.

I wouldn't have said another word after that,and I would have moved on to the next girl.

Have no idea. Just for kicks, I'll send that in the morning, but I think it is pointless. Usually, when ladies ghost me, they do not continue to contact me. She has lyme disease. Maybe it hit her brain or prefrontal cortex? I do not need pity. There's nothing to pity me for. I may sound lame at times on the forum, however, I am just learning the game. My skin is growing thicker again.

It took a week just to get her on the phone. I do not know if she's nervous, scared or just flaky. Doesn't matter. Not wasting time. I actually have three ladies on Bumble who sent me their numbers. Not sure if they will pan out, but we'll see.

 

[RickTheToad]

I just logged on to plentyofwh0res for the 1st in a year I guess. What gets me is the PhD who "gets up late," and loves to seek out a "new restaurant" and "explore," blah blah. I mean, she says nothing of her money-making, now 37 yrs old, "undecided" on kids. I mean showing no seriousness about what she has to offer THREE YEARS from 40. Lah de dah skipping along, all-is-well mindset. So many on there either carry-on luggaged with kids or wasting (and quite possibly debt straddled unless rich parents) their reproductive years. Actually I've recently read/heard that 16 yrs of age is the BEST reproductive year of All females. Many of them are twice past that having schooled themselves out of the gene pool.

Yea, this one wants kids too. She's 37 as well. I think many of these ladies are just delusional.