Ok, I've really got the hots for this local singer here. She is freakin beautiful to me, but I have never actually met her. I plan on going to one of her shows sometime though. I guess to alot of guys she might just be "average" but I think she is hot. One of my female friends was like, "I could definitely see you getting with her." I think I have "bigged" this one up so much though that I don't knwo what to say when I finally do meet her. SHe is very popular, and I am pretty unknown. I play in a band, but we ahven't taken off like hers has. I do know this...that she has some sort of "fear of intimacy" problem and is still a virgin. I'm not a virgin, but I do have a problem letting people get close to me. I really want to meet this girl, and I think she would like me but not really sure how to go about doing it. I feel like I am really bigging it up but I need to stop because I could end up getting rejected.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Oneitis?
- Thread starter Rhino22
- Start date
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Exhumed
Senior Don Juan
Talk with her about music, you have something in common. Don't sound like a fan, musicians don't often sleep with their fans.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Are you just feeling special because she is so popular and giving you some attention? If she wasn't a "star" would you feel the same about her?
I checked out her pics, website and some videos. She has some talent and after looking at her more she becomes more attractive. Now I think I'M in love with her! FVck!! Just kidding
In my opinion you will need to be a superstar yourself to get a chick like this. She is obviously full of confidence and you need to match that. She is most likely surrounded by super confident guys already. How is your confidence?
I checked out her pics, website and some videos. She has some talent and after looking at her more she becomes more attractive. Now I think I'M in love with her! FVck!! Just kidding
In my opinion you will need to be a superstar yourself to get a chick like this. She is obviously full of confidence and you need to match that. She is most likely surrounded by super confident guys already. How is your confidence?
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Hey Rhino I used to play in a rock/reggae band too. We became quite popular locally and I know what you mean about confidence in your music.
I can remember playing shows and that 1st song where nobody is dancing and just watching your every move. Total pressure cooker until everyone starts feeling the groove and can't help but dancing. After that you're gold and your confidence soars.
Anyhow playing in a band does give a lot of confidence if you have some success. What is holding your band back at this point?
I can remember playing shows and that 1st song where nobody is dancing and just watching your every move. Total pressure cooker until everyone starts feeling the groove and can't help but dancing. After that you're gold and your confidence soars.
Anyhow playing in a band does give a lot of confidence if you have some success. What is holding your band back at this point?
I dont know what is holding me back. I should ahve alot of confidence because we put on great shows. I guess it's just the messed up childhood that holds me back and I have some form of social anxiety disorder. Anyway, this girl posted on facebook about a show she will be at this friday. She isn't performing, but someone else is. THere will be hundereds of people there and im sure she will be with tons of friends. I will end up going alone. SHoudl I approach her? Alot of my friends told me they could picture me getting with this chick. I have had such a messed up life that its hard for me to accept that I am good looking ,talented, etc. Its hard for me to imagine succeeding with a very popular good looking girl.
Yeah, so i havent really had conversations with this girl but out of the 1,000 plus friends she has, she has noticed me. She liked my status the other day and then I commented on one of her pics yesterday and she responded to my comment. I have noticed s he doesn't respond to alot of people.
MY friend tonight told me that I shoudl send her a message like, "Hey, are you still going to that show Friday? I was thinkin about checkin it out. It would be cool to meet you."
What do you think?
Then my friend went on to tell me that I need to stop doubting myself and said, "Look, I'm not gay but you're good looking and you know you could probably go get some pu**y anywhere." I don't know whats wrong with me...I guess it's just my lack of experience with women and socializing that keeps me this way.
So should I send her that message?
MY friend tonight told me that I shoudl send her a message like, "Hey, are you still going to that show Friday? I was thinkin about checkin it out. It would be cool to meet you."
What do you think?
Then my friend went on to tell me that I need to stop doubting myself and said, "Look, I'm not gay but you're good looking and you know you could probably go get some pu**y anywhere." I don't know whats wrong with me...I guess it's just my lack of experience with women and socializing that keeps me this way.
So should I send her that message?
Yeah man send it minus the "It would be cool to meet you."
It sounds like you have all the pieces in place Rhino. It's kind of a shame if the only thing holding you back are your own insecurities.
Think about how you feel just before you get up on stage to play a really big show. Then how that feeling of nervousness changes to exhilaration once the band hits it's groove and the crowd starts vibing.
Those are the exact same feelings you go thru when you are approaching women and out of your comfort zone. You know that nervousness is just in your head and once you bust thru it's all good on the other side. Go for it man.
Good luck with A.S. I'm really pulling for you on this one!
It sounds like you have all the pieces in place Rhino. It's kind of a shame if the only thing holding you back are your own insecurities.
Think about how you feel just before you get up on stage to play a really big show. Then how that feeling of nervousness changes to exhilaration once the band hits it's groove and the crowd starts vibing.
Those are the exact same feelings you go thru when you are approaching women and out of your comfort zone. You know that nervousness is just in your head and once you bust thru it's all good on the other side. Go for it man.
Good luck with A.S. I'm really pulling for you on this one!
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
I just think it's already implied. If she's responding to you out of 1000's then I think she's noticed you enough to want to meet. Plus it prevents you looking like a "fan".
I'm thinking something like this:
You: "Hey you still going to that show on Friday. I'm thinking of checking it out."
Her: "Yeah I'll be there"
You: "Cool, see you there"
I'm thinking something like this:
You: "Hey you still going to that show on Friday. I'm thinking of checking it out."
Her: "Yeah I'll be there"
You: "Cool, see you there"
Kailex
Master Don Juan
What Slickster said.
You said she was a singer, right? You do know probably at least another dozen guys are telling her that "It'd be cool to meet her", which is pretty much the first step in the pedestal process.
No, it wouldn't be cool to meet her, but it'd be cool for her to meet YOU.
And it's not just about looks.
The fact that you are noticing stuff like "She replies to my comments and likes my status" means that you are almost at borderline creeper status. I sincerely hope not. Because if you are noticing minor details like that, it means you are spending TOO much time on her profile.
The way I see it, you already have her up on a pedestal.
Remember rejection > regret anyday. Just talk to her, like a human being, not like some sort of singing goddess that has fallen from the heavens. Just talk to her, and for the love of God, don't ever mention anything about her Facebook or bring up the fact that she ONCE liked your status.
You said she was a singer, right? You do know probably at least another dozen guys are telling her that "It'd be cool to meet her", which is pretty much the first step in the pedestal process.
No, it wouldn't be cool to meet her, but it'd be cool for her to meet YOU.
And it's not just about looks.
The fact that you are noticing stuff like "She replies to my comments and likes my status" means that you are almost at borderline creeper status. I sincerely hope not. Because if you are noticing minor details like that, it means you are spending TOO much time on her profile.
The way I see it, you already have her up on a pedestal.
Remember rejection > regret anyday. Just talk to her, like a human being, not like some sort of singing goddess that has fallen from the heavens. Just talk to her, and for the love of God, don't ever mention anything about her Facebook or bring up the fact that she ONCE liked your status.
ah man, you are right. I am putting her up on a pedestal. But thats because since I am a musician its very hard for me to find a girl that I would want to date since at this point I dont think I can really be with one that isnt one.
Geezus. Maybe I should just blow this whole thing off. I mean, she probably doesn't give a rats a** about me. If I send her a message, maybe I will seem like a stalker. BIg deal, she liked my status and commented on one of my comments. We talked through myspace like once almost a year ago. That is it. I just can't help thinking she is freakin beautiful. I get, "I'm hot" alot or whatever but I will admit I think I am intimidated by this chick.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.