It's me again. The one everyone thinks is a troll. Well I'm not a troll and anyone who cares to read this I am ****ing cursed. I have oneitis from hell and it's from over 5 years ago!!! I've spun plates, got plenty of girls, narrowed them down to a cute lil latina upstairs right now probably cooking me lunch, but I CAN'T stop thinking about my EX. I've tried booze, pills, mushrooms, EVERYTHING. I even almost called her the other day. Is it acceptable for an old boyfriend to call a married old girlfriend?
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
ONEITIS from HELL
- Thread starter Thugo
- Start date
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"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
MacAvoy
Banned
YESThugo said:
Call her and profess your undying love for her. Its the only way you will know if she will feel the same way or not. Otherwise your going to spend the next 50 years wondering about "the one".
ps. if you were a mature man, you wouldn't be trying to solve your problems with booze, pills or mushrooms.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Desdinova said:
What the hell am i supposed to say? I'm just going to get shot down!! If she still loved me she would try to contact me somehow... I left her my # the first time I called. She'll just shoot me down and I'll be more depressed. The only solution to this nightmare is for me to find a girl that makes me forget about her, but no girl has! I could be a call away from a restraining order! And her hubby might pick up the phone and cuss me out. WTF
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Desdinova said:
Well the first time I left a message she called back and we just chit chatted and when I found out she was married I cut the convo short. I just left a voice mail for her and she hasn't called back. Will she? I don't know. I doubt it. And that's probably a sign I shouldn't call again. I don't want to get put into that creep category who won't leave her alone. This has to end. I'm obsessed. I've had thoughts of killing her husband (I never woudl ofcourse). I don't know what to do.
Did my call a year ago accomplish anything? I guess it let her know I was still thinking about her after all these years. Beyond that, I don't know. I didn't ask to meet her or anything, it was just so nice to hear her voice. Maybe it let her know that if things went to the ****ter in her marrrriage she would have someone to call. What I wouldn't do for just one day with that girl. It's like goddamn man you've had her for 5 years let me get some of her lovin.
WestCoaster
Master Don Juan
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- May 8, 2003
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Des ... You're cracking me up. You'd tell a guy thinking about jumping off a building to go ahead and do it!
Thugo ... This is pitiful, it really is. She's married, she won't call, she doesn't want you, she's moved on. When will you move on?
Thugo ... This is pitiful, it really is. She's married, she won't call, she doesn't want you, she's moved on. When will you move on?
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2004
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- 11,680
- Reaction score
- 4,876
It wasn't a fvcking joke.
You were WANTING to call her. You've been wanting to call her since your last thread. I just gave you a kick in that direction so you'd quit going around in circles.
I told you to forget about her in your last thread, and that obviously didn't work. So I gave you the only option you'd accept - TO CALL HER. And what did it accomplish? Nothing. She's still married, and you're not fvcking her.
Vulpine
Master Don Juan
I suggest a poultice of crushed garlic and ground ginseng.
Take two cloves of garlic, a tablespoon of ground ginseng, and a 1/2 teaspoon of warm water. Mash them all together into a paste. If the paste is a little too runny, add a sprinkle of corn starch to stiffen it up. Take the paste and spread it onto a piece of gauze or cheese cloth.
For three nights, sleep with this poultice on your forhead. After the third night, wake up and scrape the paste off of the cheesecloth then eat it.
You will never think about this woman afterwards.
Take two cloves of garlic, a tablespoon of ground ginseng, and a 1/2 teaspoon of warm water. Mash them all together into a paste. If the paste is a little too runny, add a sprinkle of corn starch to stiffen it up. Take the paste and spread it onto a piece of gauze or cheese cloth.
For three nights, sleep with this poultice on your forhead. After the third night, wake up and scrape the paste off of the cheesecloth then eat it.
You will never think about this woman afterwards.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
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