One thing I’ll never understand about women

[CornbreadFed]

Why do they like these feminine barely in the closet performative men types? I usually see the hyper masculine gym bro guys ugly or fat women lol. Meanwhile, questionably pretty boys like bad bunny and Harry Styles are getting the hotter woman.

 

[crowolf]

Maybe because it's "Instagrammable". This society is a joke.

 

[zekko]

Why do they like these feminine barely in the closet performative men types?

Good question. Probably for the same reason a lot of women like gay men, they can relate to them on some level. Then they can become sexually attracted to them because of the proximity, or maybe the guy is good looking.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

One of the seductive archetypes discussed in Robert Greene's Art of Seduction is the Dandy. Oscar Wilde was one, Rudolph Valentino was one, and there are many in modern times. Read that chapter of the book.

Contrary to ego preserving beliefs looks matter. Devastating good looks combined with style and panache appeal to women because women understand the non-verbal context of a stylish presentation. Many women, myself included, are not drawn to beefcake gym rat types. I most appreciate a fit sleek physique, think of a downhill skier or a swimmer or a soccer player build. Proportionate builds that are muscular & well defined but not overly bulky. Lifting alone will not produce that body type although lifting can certainly build strength. A horse racing jockey is by trade one of the smallest yet strongest lithe builds out there. Just as an example. Those guys are built like greyhounds, sleek, fit & strong. Look at retired jockey Gary Stevens. He could be considered a Dandy type.

Women understand non-verbal cues that indicate a man who understands matters of style & taste. And if he has a fit physique and a handsome face as well?

He will do just fine as women will innately feel kindred to such a man.

 

[Prepostereax]

Not all women, maybe not even most

I'm thinking now of this fresh intern, a Sweeney-clone, who's been rejecting 'pretty boys' because they're "not masculine enough"
Seems she has a traditional upbringing.

The pretty boy look is just a form of nichemaxing
the advantage over other types (eg 'bad boy') is that like attracts like, so pretty girls with nothing much else to offer will go for it (so will ugly girls, but they won't even have a whisper)

 

[Rainman4707]

Advice from the old lady:

One of the seductive archetypes discussed in Robert Greene's Art of Seduction is the Dandy. Oscar Wilde was one, Rudolph Valentino was one, and there are many in modern times. Read that chapter of the book.

Contrary to ego preserving beliefs looks matter. Devastating good looks combined with style and panache appeal to women because women understand the non-verbal context of a stylish presentation. Many women, myself included, are not drawn to beefcake gym rat types. I most appreciate a fit sleek physique, think of a downhill skier or a swimmer or a soccer player build. Proportionate builds that are muscular & well defined but not overly bulky. Lifting alone will not produce that body type although lifting can certainly build strength. A horse racing jockey is by trade one of the smallest yet strongest lithe builds out there. Just as an example. Those guys are built like greyhounds, sleek, fit & strong. Look at retired jockey Gary Stevens. He could be considered a Dandy type.

Women understand non-verbal cues that indicate a man who understands matters of style & taste. And if he has a fit physique and a handsome face as well?

He will do just fine as women will innately feel kindred to such a man.

I do feel better in myself now that im playing football twice a week, rather than bodybuilding. Competitive field sports just feels better.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Advice from the old lady:

One of the seductive archetypes discussed in Robert Greene's Art of Seduction is the Dandy. Oscar Wilde was one, Rudolph Valentino was one, and there are many in modern times. Read that chapter of the book.

Contrary to ego preserving beliefs looks matter. Devastating good looks combined with style and panache appeal to women because women understand the non-verbal context of a stylish presentation. Many women, myself included, are not drawn to beefcake gym rat types. I most appreciate a fit sleek physique, think of a downhill skier or a swimmer or a soccer player build. Proportionate builds that are muscular & well defined but not overly bulky. Lifting alone will not produce that body type although lifting can certainly build strength. A horse racing jockey is by trade one of the smallest yet strongest lithe builds out there. Just as an example. Those guys are built like greyhounds, sleek, fit & strong. Look at retired jockey Gary Stevens. He could be considered a Dandy type.

Women understand non-verbal cues that indicate a man who understands matters of style & taste. And if he has a fit physique and a handsome face as well?

He will do just fine as women will innately feel kindred to such a man.

This. Read tbe book.

 

[Clockwerk50]

All I can think of is that female attraction is not to masculinity alone, but to controlled masculinity. Women may be drawn to strength and confidence, but excessive hardness, emotional coldness, or dominance, traits associated with masculinity, can trigger fear and distrust, making the interaction feel purely sexual or unsafe.

On the other hand, male attraction is tied to the validation of masculinity. When a woman appears overly dominant or self-sufficient, overt control, manipulation, or emotional superiority can provoke resistance rather than attraction on the male side.

Thus, attraction is optimized through balance rather than extremes. This may be the reason why extremely feminine women are not with overtly masculine men, and why overtly masculine men are not with extremely feminine women.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

These types of guys are perceived to be more easily controlled, which assuages their insecurities. Basically less intimidating.

 

[BeExcellent]

These types of guys are perceived to be more easily controlled, which assuages their insecurities. Basically less intimidating.

Perhaps, but untrue. These are men who understand covert and subconscious communication styles of women, thus gaining women's confidence.

These guys often have more female friends than male friends, often with benefits. All because of accessibility.

They are not more easily controlled either. I know men like this....men who can beat women at their own game.

Men who do not understand this are, unsurprisingly, confused by this....but those are men who do not speak the right covert language, and, as we see here in this thread, cannot wrap their manly minds around it.

The Dandy. Read up gentlemen.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Men's perception of the female gaze is that they like Hercules / Schwarzenegger types

Whilst this archetype does appeal to some women it certainly doesn't appeal to all women.

Some women find the notion of the male beefcake to actually be a turn off.

He's often perceived as inarticulate and easily manipulated - very boring for a higher class of woman.

Women beyond slooots are not particularly well stimulated by Visuals alone , they are sexually stimulated by the mind and imagination

They want to get lost in some crazy romance narrative ,

My current GF had a lot of guys orbiting and she was dating a few when I met her

I won because I went in super ****y when I met her, then withdrew all my attention and lead her on a catch me if you can style chase . allowing her to wonder and fantasise about me.

It helped I was also dating other women and didn't really care wether I had her or not ( this is the silver bullet with attracting women )

 

[jhonny9546]

..

I understand the whole point of this post and what the old lady says.

I am just as you describe me (even if my behavior is not feminine, but rather manly).
Many women find this contrast intriguing and when they understand that they can be vulnerable in my presence, then that's when I notice them putting down their weapons and wanting to be led.
They are feminine.

I'm short, but I have a beautiful face, physique, I dress elegantly, and in my gestures there is what the old lady describes.

I attract all types of women, but I especially notice the mental conflict that women much taller than me have "in their mind: I'm attracted to this half-man, but how is that possible?"

So yes, society has its impact, but it depends on a woman's biology and imprinting.
They are not all the same

 

[jhonny9546]

They want to get lost in some crazy romance narrative ,

This adds to the fact that I'm an artist (sculptor), and women are interested because my creating "art" from scratch always takes their imagination to other places, "what next?"

I think that from a woman's perspective, knowing that a man can create something from nothing, be it music, food, buildings, poetry, or drawings, makes her understand that this man has the tools to survive in the world, compared to others who don't.
"He can make something happen or craft something from nowhere"

 

[sevbucmash]

Why do they like these feminine barely in the closet performative men types?

You are exaggerating.

But I still see your point, why pretty boy instead of a ripped boy. It goes back to brain and instincts. There is such thing as Uncanny Valley, it's an instinct, a response in our brains. It is somewhat similar to when you see a snake, but not as pronounced, much much less pronounced. I had a thread about this subject here, but admins decided to remove it, apparently unable to relate to Don Juan topic. Back in the day, hundreds of thousands of years back, there was many human species around. Identifying your own from something else was crucial to survival or being eaten or killed. Thus we developed this instinct. When someone looks or moves or acts similar to your own but not quite, we feel uneasy, uncanny, eerie.

Your hyper masculine gym boy has just enough tension in his body to animate differently and just enough mass to look somewhat human, but not quite. Most women find themselves feeling uneasy around these men, for some reason. They can't help this feeling. It's wired into their brains.

Can you name a period in human evolution when men looked ripped like guerillas?

Many women, myself included, are not drawn to beefcake gym rat types. I most appreciate a fit sleek physique, think of a downhill skier or a swimmer or a soccer player build. Proportionate builds that are muscular & well defined but not overly bulky.

Throughout human evolution we done more reps with lower weights. Endurance over strength. Lifting a lot at one time could result in injury, inability to hunt, and death.

 

[The Duke]

Why do they like these feminine barely in the closet performative men types? I usually see the hyper masculine gym bro guys ugly or fat women lol. Meanwhile, questionably pretty boys like bad bunny and Harry Styles are getting the hotter woman.

After several experiences with gym bro's over the years it is my opinion that many are compensating for what they lack internally. Its like highly attractive women that are vain and externally compensate for whats lacking internally. Its all a cover up for what is lacking inside.

So why do gym bro's get with ugly/fat women? Because women judge men by more than looks and looks is all they got. These men are not highly sought after.

And as BeExcellent pointed out, that a lot of men don't understand is a man that understands covert and subconscious female communication will attract women on that skill alone. It makes women feel comfortable and brings out their confidence and desire to open up(their legs too). A woman wants to feel connected and understood.

Gym bro's are too insecure and in their own head to bring this out in women.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Because such guys are more relatable (from a woman's perspective). Also, women do not have ready-made defences against this type of man.

 

[Barrister]

After several experiences with gym bro's over the years it is my opinion that many are compensating for what they lack internally. Its like highly attractive women that are vain and externally compensate for whats lacking internally. Its all a cover up for what is lacking inside.

So why do gym bro's get with ugly/fat women? Because women judge men by more than looks and looks is all they got. These men are not highly sought after.

And as BeExcellent pointed out, that a lot of men don't understand is a man that understands covert and subconscious female communication will attract women on that skill alone. It makes women feel comfortable and brings out their confidence and desire to open up(their legs too). A woman wants to feel connected and understood.

Gym bro's are too insecure and in their own head to bring this out in women.

Most "gym bros" actually aren't very good looking (I am thinking of the huge dudes who look like they have no life outside of going to the gym 9-10 times a week). Just having big, sculpted arms does not make a guy suddenly stop having an ugly face. He's just a bulky ugly guy instead of a smaller version of the same guy. Yes, being in shape certainly is more attractive than not, but it is an overall small component of the entire equation.

All that said, looks are down the totem pole of importance when it comes to attracting women. Intelligence combined with charm and social grace is powerful. Add in social proof and the man is going to do well even if he is an overall plain looking guy.

 

[Bingo-Player]

After several experiences with gym bro's over the years it is my opinion that many are compensating for what they lack internally. Its like highly attractive women that are vain and externally compensate for whats lacking internally. Its all a cover up for what is lacking inside.

You will usually find the most superficial women with the most jacked 6ft something dudes but it never lasts

The whole attraction between them is built around external validation and how being together enhances that validation ( at least in their own minds) there's literally nothing else

Anyone with any level of introspection or self awareness will eventually find this dynamic tiring

Where as men will put up with the Bimbo because shes visual arm candy he can fvck ,

Women can very rarely tolerate the Himbo character for very long because he offers nothing beyond his physical presence and the odd opportunity to try and make other women jealous.

 

[Rainman4707]

All I can think of is that female attraction is not to masculinity alone, but to controlled masculinity. Women may be drawn to strength and confidence, but excessive hardness, emotional coldness, or dominance, traits associated with masculinity, can trigger fear and distrust, making the interaction feel purely sexual or unsafe.

On the other hand, male attraction is tied to the validation of masculinity. When a woman appears overly dominant or self-sufficient, overt control, manipulation, or emotional superiority can provoke resistance rather than attraction on the male side.

Thus, attraction is optimized through balance rather than extremes. This may be the reason why extremely feminine women are not with overtly masculine men, and why overtly masculine men are not with extremely feminine women.

I see a lot of women attracted the bad boy, drug dealer jailbird type also.

David Deida writes about this in The way of the Superior man.
Sexual polarity centers on the idea that erotic attraction is fueled by the interplay of two opposing energies: the Masculine and the Feminine.
The man has to be masculine and the woman feminine. If he is feminine and she is, attraction won't happen. I agree with this. If she is Masculine and he is, again attraction won't happen.
Just as a battery requires a positive and negative pole to create a current, sexual passion requires a "polarized" difference between partners.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I see a lot of women attracted the bad boy, drug dealer jailbird type also.

David Deida writes about this in The way of the Superior man.
Sexual polarity centers on the idea that erotic attraction is fueled by the interplay of two opposing energies: the Masculine and the Feminine.
The man has to be masculine and the woman feminine. If he is feminine and she is, attraction won't happen. I agree with this. If she is Masculine and he is, again attraction won't happen.
Just as a battery requires a positive and negative pole to create a current, sexual passion requires a "polarized" difference between partners.

Like I said, overt masculinity can become intimidating when it turns emotionally cold, rigid, or overly dominant, creating fear and making a woman feel he is only interested in sex. This has traditionally been offset by a man becoming more feminine: showing emotion, expressing interest in a woman’s inner life, listening, and appearing emotionally available.

Overt femininity can become threatening when it manifests as manipulation, covert control, or excessive emotional dependence. This has traditionally been offset by a woman appearing weak or in need of protection by showing delicacy, reliance on the man’s strengths, and vulnerability to reinforce his sense of masculinity.

The “bad boy” is simply an archetype rooted in symbolism, it is irrelevant to masculinity or femininity.