"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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One of the oddest pick-up attempts I've had...

Effington

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Was out at a bar last week, and found a target, she was dancing with one of her girlfriends. I told my buddy she was cute and he kinda challenged me, he's like, oh yeah, what are you gonna do? Anyway, I just grabbed her hand and spun her around and started dancing with her, and she was very receptive. After about a minute she asked my name and we sat down and started chatting. I started minor kino and things seemed to be fine, we talked for about 5-10 minutes when I felt the conversation was slowing, so I told her I had to go say hi to my buddies on the other side of the bar, but I'd be back later.

Found her about an hour or so later, she was in the same place just chilling with her friends. I gave some smart remark, like, what are you guys still doing here...same spot I left ya. They laughed and she introduced me to her friends, and we chatted for about 10 minutes about whatever, what she was doing this weekend, where her friends are from, etc. I told her she should give me her number, and she was like, hmm...nah.

The weird part was after she said no, she still wanted to keep chatting. She told me the crossroads she lived at and asked where I lived, saying we should hang out again. I was like, uhh, I live north by the lake. I thought it was weird that she essentially shot me down but still wanted to continue the conversation. I left very shortly after that.

Has this type of thing happened to anyone else? She obviously wasn't interested enough to give me her number, but wanted to make idle conversation with a random stranger that would do nothing but waste time?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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bukowski_merit

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hmmmm...

i would guess she has a boyfriend (or a guy she's working on something with)... was she alone when you asked for it or with her friends? why not just ask her to come home with you that night?

if the phone fails, but there's a good chemistry going - i assume a boyfriend is involved and ask for an email (they can be sneaky and do this), or try to set her up for a ONS (not bluntly though).
 

Darth

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San Jose California said:
Fvuck the spin thing rules. The thing where you twirl her cuz it looks like you're testing her elegance in her dancing. That owns.
This is nice.
 

touge

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Yea you would've said it out of context, possibly when you guys were talking about something interesting.

Keep her on the edge, don't just spill it out

she could've had bad experiences in the past with giving her number out, but yea its not that she shot you down, she was still interested just didn't want to relate through the whole phone number thing.
 

MisterMcGee

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I know a girl like this, don't worry. It's her defensiveness kicking in, not her disinterest.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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