"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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On the subject of hugging...

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

krd

Master Don Juan
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I agree that hugging is great. Just make sure you are comfortable doing it or you may screw it up. At this point I am still having a hard time with it, so when I do, it comes across as stiff and awkward. So my only advice would be to not even think about it, just go for it! I can't relly tell you how to get into this mindset, because I find it hard myself. But I know that this is one instance where thinking things through too much can actually be detrimental.
 

jwoz

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I agree with the previous posts that you should just do it. I guess that it ultimately depends on how the two of you have hit it off over the last few dates. It's your third, so I suppose that it hasn't gone that bad so far. I assume that you haven't kissed her goodbye yet?

If it were me, I would hug on the first greeting of the date.
 

Jester

Master Don Juan
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NJ, USA
Yikes! HRMMmmmMMMm YIKES! just yikes!

My situation is a bit odd tho, so all i can say is YIKES!

A certain attention ***** always comments about me not giving her a hug when im leaving or before im about to go. Previously, that has brought me to give her a hug, but last time she said "hes not giving me a hug before he leaves" to some people, i said "yup". Good or bad move? Keep in mind shes an attention ***** AND she has a boyfriend but has said she likes me LOL. Its pathetic i know.

I was thinking next time i was in a similar situation with her, to walk to her with my arms open and then turn away at the last moment. Good idea or no? I'm looking to not fall into the friends zone or to be someone she just uses for attention.

[This message has been edited by Jester (edited 11-16-2001).]
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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BMX

Master Don Juan
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Everett
When I give women hugs, I do not hesitate or put much thought into it. I hug them close to me, not the gay ass-out hugs people like to give now. I bring them in close and I've had women say to me "mmmm, you give good hugs." Sometimes I do throw in a kiss if I feel like it. It's escalating on my behalf, not friendzoning on hers tbh.
 
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