backbreaker said:
That's kinda how i see this, in this sense. Guys who blow money just for the sake of blowing money are no different to me then guys who try to be frugal just to shunt he world and show how much they don't need the **** they are shunning. Both of you are seeking approval, you are just going about it in different ways.
You misunderstand me. I'm not trying to shunt the world or show how little I need something, I truly feel BETTER, FREER the less stuff I have.
Ok, so I want to have a nice house one day. A small one that's enough for me. This is not so I can feel like hot **** for having a house, I want the (relative) safety of my own, paid-for place. The apartment I have right now is too big for me and I made the mistake of buying furniture I thought would be great and useful and which I don't bloody need. I spend most of my weekends at my dad's place anyway and during the week I'm out of the house most of the time or taking care of business on my computer.
So I made a mistake that'll cost me in money when I get rid of the stuff (as soon as I find a smaller apartment.) And you know what? I don't care. Most of the stuff I have is weighing me down, more and more I realize what I truly need to live. I wouldn't want to miss my computer because so much of what I like doing is possible only with it. Apart from that, I want a nice small apartment with a view and if possible, a small garden or a balcony. A bed, a table, a few personal belongings, a few books. This is what I need.
We buy all this stuff and we don't realize that it's there once we have to drag it around. I'm not questioning anyone's right to buy this stuff, seriously, I'm way past even wanting to lecture others on it. What I'm describing here is only my point of view. But how much of your time is spent just taking care of your stuff? I know I spend way too much time taking care of stuff I don't want to take care of. Just the thought of having to drag that heavy-ass couch around for years to come (because I'm not going to buy a new one without a good reason) is enough to depress me. I'm not saying I want to live out of a backpack, but not too far from it.
This is because I haven't settled yet. I know I'm not going to stay where I am today (geographically and professionally), so I'm not getting too cozy. If I do find the place I want to settle down with (possibly with a woman), I probably will get a bit more stuff.
Watch the beginning of Fight Club, the part where he describes his shallow empty life that is made meaningful by all this stuff he's buying. Obviously I'm not suggesting you blow up your apartment and join a fist-fight club (but if you want to, then I suggest you do just that), but watching the movie again the other day really hit home. I'm not going to blow up my apartment, but he's right,our lives are cluttered and that makes us slow, it prevents us from changing things because we feel there'd be too many strings attached, too much to think of, so we stay in our old life.
This world view isn't all-encompassing and it's growing, obviously there will be cases where I will have to revise some points. I'm not yet brave enough to act upon all my desires. I haven't sold all the stuff I don't need because I don't have a new apartment yet, but believe me, when I have a smaller one I will think long and hard about what I truly, absolutely need in it.
Same goes for the job. I'm not too happy at the moment with the day-to-day routine. I'm not at all happy with the fact that I have to ask for permission if I want to take off for a few days or that I can only do that for a limited number of days per year. But at the same time it is clear to me that I shouldn't take a rash decision, yet also try to think clearly about what I want to have.
C-quenced said:
Due to many distractions in my personal life I have been unable to obtain my degree in electrical engineering. Regardless my studies and experiences in this field is one of my top priorities because this is something I have a legitimate passion for. However throughout the past year I have also become more entrepreneurial and business oriented and while it's been a brutal learning experience for me the skies are starting to clear up and I should be able to take it off the ground sometime within the coming months. Just like yourself I am only looking to make the whole of my life comfortable but you also have to be realistic about it because if you want your freedom then you will have to be willing to work and hold yourself responsible for it. When it comes to hard work however do not be afraid of it but also be sure to work efficiently. Be certain that the time and investments you are putting forth are going to work to your favor.
I'm truly impressed that you have been able to make your own way. As of yet I have no entrepreneurial skills and no idea how to go about getting them, save for trying, and I'm still - as pointed out above - not brave enough.
Burroughs said:
Esther Vilar
Here is a list of issues which I recognized in the original book to be men's most significant disadvantages compared to women.
1. Men are conscripted; women are not.
2. Men are sent to fight in wars; women are not.
3. Men retire later than women (even though, due to their lower life-expectancy,
they should have the right to have the right to retire earlier).
4. Men have almost no influence over their reproduction (for males, there is neither
a pill nor abortion - they can only get the children women want them to have).
5. Men support women; women never, or only temporarily, support men.
6. Men work all their lives; women work only temporarily or not at all.
7. Even though men work all their lives, and women work only temporarily or not at
all, on average, men are poorer than women.
8. Men only `borrow' their children; woman can keep them (as men work all their
lives and women do not, men are automatically robbed of their children in cases of separation - with the reasoning that they have to work).
As one can see, if anything, the female position of power has only consolidated. Today a career in the military is also open to women in many countries - but without conscription for all. Many achieved for themselves the right to practice their job for the same number of years as their male colleagues - however, the retirement age was not increased for all of us. And now as before, it does not occur to the underprivileged to fight against this grotesque state of affairs.
Yeah, I read that book. It's a good book and she sees things how they are.
However.
I've found that categorically shunning women hasn't worked for me. Maybe it's because my life is not, as of yet, so great and interesting that I don't... well, need, a woman in it. Possibly that puts me at a great risk. Probably, even. But I've also found that repressing your nature is not very healthy. My nature as a man is to be attracted to women. My answer for now is to screen, screen, screen, minimize the risk. I'll never get it down to zero.
Burroughs, I really respect you, I used to think you were a frustrated nut but I've come around to seeing - truly understanding - the extreme point of view you're advocating.
Perhaps I'm just not strong enough yet to fully live by it.