"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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On a trip - when a girl start ignoring you

RedScorpion

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Hey guys, quick question for you all. I think I have the answer already but want to double check.

I’m on a trip currently and things were seemingly going fairly well with this one girl (nothing happened yet). Sharing drinks, food, lots of banter. However, at one point she started distancing, ignoring (like right directly after I thought we clicked). Basically paying attention to everyone else. Tried reinitiating with her but it’s not the same really. She basically feels like a wall to me. I’m theorizing that she is stopping herself from getting too close to someone that will eventually fly away soon. But I could be wrong about that.

My idea is to reflect her attitude. She’s ignoring me, so I’ll ignore her (without it being too obvious). She’s paying attention to others, so will I. Eventually we’ll go our separate ways and that will be the end of that.

Sound plan? Or any other advice you guys might give?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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simongtown

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What do you mean you're on a "trip" with a girl? Is she your wife? Is she the mother of your children? If not, just ditch her and enjoy the trip. Your interest level in her is higher than her in you (sounds like zero interest actually), so move on.
 

R.U.G.

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If you are not in a relationship and it's fresh, then this is a telltale sign of the future with her. Don't lose your composure. Just mingle with other women. When she sees that you are not playing her game, she'll come over to you to attempt to get your attention again.
 

wifehunter

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Kitty Kitty needs her space.
 

TheMonkeyKing

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The easiest way to gain/regain someone's attention is to withdraw our own; women are experts at this. The worst way is to try to force your attention on someone.

Yes, pull back, act like everything is normal, treat her like one of the gang until she starts escalating.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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RedScorpion

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Thanks guys. Yeah this one is slightly annoying since she’s the guide for the tour. She’s keen on doing her own thing, paying plenty of attention on a couple of the taken guys. Nothing crazy attractive about them (average, conservative, here with wife/gf. No muscle or anything like that). But she’ll address others plenty as well but basically minimal eye contact/addressing me. So basically a complete flip of attention for her towards me, since she was seemingly keen on me just a few days prior. Really the most annoying thing is the major flip - into me quite a bit, and then nothing/ignoring. Seemingly out of nowhere (or maybe something triggered her). I hate these girls so ****ing much.

Yeah it’s a slight bit of a vent. If it was another person on the tour I could just go around and not deal with them. But the guide is always there of course. So dealing with someone in your face always a bit.

Otherwise I’m getting along great with all the other women on the tour (funnily enough). Old or young or whatever. Just a bit more time to be done I guess.
 

simongtown

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She's leading a tour but not paying exclusive attention to you. And you're mad about this? She's working dude. Plus, she's not interested.
 

jaymbrs

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Honestly, she was probably just being nice at first then sensed you wanted something more and realized that she needs to withdraw in order to remain professional for the sake of the trip.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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