"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Older woman then me

The Duke

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I'd say she is interested somewhat, but not interested enough. I don't think pursuing her more aggressively, inviting her over to your place will work.

She likes the attention/validation she gets from you. She isn't ready to break it off where her husband.

I'd keep casual contact with her. Be friendly, firt with her. Let her desire grow some more. If she complains to you about her marriage then change the conversation to something else.

I've worked a few women this way over the years and eventually they became more comfortable with the idea, horny enough, timing was right, and sex happened. Don't let them take up much space in your head. Don't invest in them. Let them chase after you.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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BeExcellent

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Hi ManFrom Italy,
You are quite right to question and ruminate on anyones advice....Socrates thought we should carefully consider all issues,until our beliefs sit on a firm foundation...Indeed,It is quite possible that many here have a completely wrong take on this issue,and your actions have been quite appropriate....The Ladies Marriage seems to be going through a rocky patch,perhaps the last thing she wants is an affair,perhaps just a sympathetic shoulder to lean on someone to be a sounding board as she runs through the issues that are tormenting her....In you,she sees a shy,sensitive Soul,to pour her heart out to...I do.....As Amsterdam says,just take her for Coffee and let things flow.....Life is like a retort in the Chemists Laboratory,you throw the Chemicals in and,If you are wise enough to see it,you may predict,an almost inevitable outcome....Just where is BeExcellent[ when one needs her?
A very kind endorsement @Scaramouche in fact I was attending the wedding of my only son this past weekend, and it was a lovely event indeed.

I concur with your evaluation of our OP's situation. I think if he wishes to pursue this that asking her to coffee or lunch and listening is wise.

Avoid placing any expectation whatsoever on the interaction however. Expectations carry weight and marriage is heavy enough already.

And do not under any circumstances allow yourself to yearn for "more" with such a woman. She is unlikely to leave her spouse and run away with you but sometimes we humans, we entertain a most romantic fantasy along such lines. Don't go there. It is not a high percentage bet even in the most conducive environment.

Marriage can be very heavy. My guess is she wants a bit of emotional relief from those burdens. Do not get attached, the most likely result for you is pain through unrequited emotion.
 
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