"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Older woman then me

manfromitaly

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There is a woman of about 50 who lives near me, she has a second home here and often comes alone to my city (she is married but I think she has some problems with her husband),l.

Every now and then I meet her at the bar, time ago I approached her, I told her that she is a beautiful woman and I asked for her number, but she got embarrassed and told me that we should get to know each other better first.

I saw her again a few more times and we just said hello, this morning I saw her and we exchanged a few words and he told me that this afternoon he will be at the bar and that if I want we can have a coffee.

I told her I'd stop by.

I am much younger but I am very attracted to her.

Some advice?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Clockwerk50

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Try to seal the deal the same day. Get you logistics in place. Once she is gone from the city you are not sure if you will see her again. She probably using you for romance and adventure and maybe her husband is neglecting her.
 

manfromitaly

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I saw her, she was with some elderly ladies in the bar (she's only been in my city for a short time and she doesn't know many people)

I said hello and sat outside, I didn't think it was a good idea to join in, after a while she went out and came over from me and we talked for a bit, I was sitting and she was standing because she was about to go home.

I got an idea about her, she is very reserved, I have to go calmly without rushing, I talked to her a bit about myself to create a bit of comfort,

I think she wants to understand if I am a reliable person or not.

As I imagined with one sentence she made me understand that things with her husband are not going well, shortly after she left, it was useless to ask her for contact or to arrange a appointment, we agreed that we will see each other again at the bar.

I repeat, it's a particular situation, the only thing I can do is move things forward slowly, then if something happens it's fine but I'm certainly not counting on it too much
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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BackInTheGame78

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I saw her, she was with some elderly ladies in the bar (she's only been in my city for a short time and she doesn't know many people)

I said hello and sat outside, I didn't think it was a good idea to join in, after a while she went out and came over from me and we talked for a bit, I was sitting and she was standing because she was about to go home.

I got an idea about her, she is very reserved, I have to go calmly without rushing, I talked to her a bit about myself to create a bit of comfort,

I think she wants to understand if I am a reliable person or not.

As I imagined with one sentence she made me understand that things with her husband are not going well, shortly after she left, it was useless to ask her for contact or to arrange a appointment, we agreed that we will see each other again at the bar.

I repeat, it's a particular situation, the only thing I can do is move things forward slowly, then if something happens it's fine but I'm certainly not counting on it too much
No it isn't...this is just nonsense. A way for you to excuse away your passiveness and you not attempting to make anything happen.

Invite her back to your place for some drinks.

Women who are interested actually act on it, not play silly games, especially at her age
 
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manfromitaly

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No it isn't...this is just nonsense. A way for you to excuse away your passiveness and you not attempting to make anything happen.

Invite her back to your place for some drinks.

Women who are interested actually act on it, not play silly games, especially at her age
I don't know, she seems very reserved, almost shy, she's prudent, in fact the first time I asked her for her number she was embarrassed, I'm of the opinion that not all women are the same and maybe I'm wrong but with a woman like that you need a little more time, she's still married despite things going badly, I'm 100% sure I would have gotten a no if I had asked her something like that
 

BackInTheGame78

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I don't know, she seems very reserved, almost shy, she's prudent, in fact the first time I asked her for her number she was embarrassed, I'm of the opinion that not all women are the same and maybe I'm wrong but with a woman like that you need a little more time, she's still married despite things going badly, I'm 100% sure I would have gotten a no if I had asked her something like that
It's not important if you got a yes or a no. It's important that you tried. At least she will know you have some balls.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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I don't know, she seems very reserved, almost shy, she's prudent, in fact the first time I asked her for her number she was embarrassed, I'm of the opinion that not all women are the same and maybe I'm wrong but with a woman like that you need a little more time, she's still married despite things going badly, I'm 100% sure I would have gotten a no if I had asked her something like that
Why would you come on a forum, asking for advice on how to get sex from this woman, and then argue with the men that are giving you advice?

(Perché verresti su un forum a chiedere consigli su come ottenere sesso da questa donna, e poi litigare con gli uomini che ti stanno dando consigli?)
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

BaronOfHair

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There is a woman of about 50 who lives near me, she has a second home here and often comes alone to my city (she is married but I think she has some problems with her husband),l.

Every now and then I meet her at the bar, time ago I approached her, I told her that she is a beautiful woman and I asked for her number, but she got embarrassed and told me that we should get to know each other better first.

I saw her again a few more times and we just said hello, this morning I saw her and we exchanged a few words and he told me that this afternoon he will be at the bar and that if I want we can have a coffee.

I told her I'd stop by.

I am much younger but I am very attracted to her.

Some advice?
I'll leave this to Benny Hill

 

manfromitaly

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Why would you come on a forum, asking for advice on how to get sex from this woman, and then argue with the men that are giving you advice?

(Perché verresti su un forum a chiedere consigli su come ottenere sesso da questa donna, e poi litigare con gli uomini che ti stanno dando consigli?)
It's not about arguing, I try to explain the situation as best as possible to get the most appropriate advice possible
 

BackInTheGame78

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It's not about arguing, I try to explain the situation as best as possible to get the most appropriate advice possible
I just gave it to you. You seem to think sitting around playing tiddlywinks with her is getting you somewhere but all it is is confirming you are not a man of action and it's killing any attraction she might have for you. You are disappointing her and confirming you are not the man she thought and hoped you might be.

So if you want to waste another 6-12 months spinning your wheels going nowhere, keep up this course of action. If you want something to happen, then you have to act like you want something to happen. Women give you a period of time to show them you will take action and then that window closes and it's too late.

What's going to happen is while you are playing tiddlywinks for 6 more months meeting up with her every so often thinking this is getting you "bonus points" with her, some other dude is going to come along, aggressively go at her and end up banging her on the first or second meetup and it's going to be all over for you.

He will be the man who took bold action and you will be the scared little boy who did nothing and she will assume it's because you are not man enough to do so. All this nonsense you are making up in your head about this and that about her and how she is and how she acts is just that...nonsense. She is a woman and when she is attracted enough to a man all those "rules" you have made up in your own mind that she has that don't actually exist will go out the window.

Women don't want to be with little boys, they want to be with men. My advice is to start acting like one.
 
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Scaramouche

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Hi ManFrom Italy,
You are quite right to question and ruminate on anyones advice....Socrates thought we should carefully consider all issues,until our beliefs sit on a firm foundation...Indeed,It is quite possible that many here have a completely wrong take on this issue,and your actions have been quite appropriate....The Ladies Marriage seems to be going through a rocky patch,perhaps the last thing she wants is an affair,perhaps just a sympathetic shoulder to lean on someone to be a sounding board as she runs through the issues that are tormenting her....In you,she sees a shy,sensitive Soul,to pour her heart out to...I do.....As Amsterdam says,just take her for Coffee and let things flow.....Life is like a retort in the Chemists Laboratory,you throw the Chemicals in and,If you are wise enough to see it,you may predict,an almost inevitable outcome....Just where is BeExcellent[ when one needs her?
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

manfromitaly

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I just gave it to you. You seem to think sitting around playing tiddlywinks with her is getting you somewhere but all it is is confirming you are not a man of action and it's killing any attraction she might have for you. You are disappointing her and confirming you are not the man she thought and hoped you might be.

So if you want to waste another 6-12 months spinning your wheels going nowhere, keep up this course of action. If you want something to happen, then you have to act like you want something to happen. Women give you a period of time to show them you will take action and then that window closes and it's too late.

What's going to happen is while you are playing tiddlywinks for 6 more months meeting up with her every so often thinking this is getting you "bonus points" with her, some other dude is going to come along, aggressively go at her and end up banging her on the first or second meetup and it's going to be all over for you.

He will be the man who took bold action and you will be the scared little boy who did nothing and she will assume it's because you are not man enough to do so. All this nonsense you are making up in your head about this and that about her and how she is and how she acts is just that...nonsense. She is a woman and when she is attracted enough to a man all those "rules" you have made up in your own mind that she has that don't actually exist will go out the window.

Women don't want to be with little boys, they want to be with men. My advice is to start acting like one.
You're right, on certain occasions it's difficult for me to be too aggressive, it's still a married woman, if she were single I would probably be more calm, on the other hand I have nothing to lose, I have to take risks
 

manfromitaly

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Hi ManFrom Italy,
You are quite right to question and ruminate on anyones advice....Socrates thought we should carefully consider all issues,until our beliefs sit on a firm foundation...Indeed,It is quite possible that many here have a completely wrong take on this issue,and your actions have been quite appropriate....The Ladies Marriage seems to be going through a rocky patch,perhaps the last thing she wants is an affair,perhaps just a sympathetic shoulder to lean on someone to be a sounding board as she runs through the issues that are tormenting her....In you,she sees a shy,sensitive Soul,to pour her heart out to...I do.....As Amsterdam says,just take her for Coffee and let things flow.....Life is like a retort in the Chemists Laboratory,you throw the Chemicals in and,If you are wise enough to see it,you may predict,an almost inevitable outcome....Just where is BeExcellent[ when one needs her?
It's this, she's married, I see her as a little embarrassed, instinctively I feel like walking away calmly, I have the impression that by hurrying I'd miss the opportunity if there ever were one, on the other hand it's all new for her, I think she wants to understand if I'm a reliable person also because I will be at least 20 years younger than her
 

Scaramouche

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Hi ManFom Italy,
You are overthinking this....Have that cup of coffee,relax and just let yourself be carried along like a leaf in her stream.
 

Clockwerk50

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Hi ManFom Italy,
You are overthinking this....Have that cup of coffee,relax and just let yourself be carried along like a leaf in her stream.
The woman will put him on the friend zone as soon as she starts babbling and bitching about her husband and the things they do together. Just my thought.

Edit: I guess her talking about other guys would be a sign she is not interested.
 
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manfromitaly

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The woman will put him on the friend zone as soon as she starts babbling and bitching about her husband and the things they do together. Just my thought.

Edit: I guess her talking about other guys would be a sign she is not interested.
She didn't tell me about other guys, she told me that she doesn't like to go back to her hometown and that she prefers to stay here, I'm the one who deduced that the marriage isn't going well, she didn't tell me that
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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