Old fashioned girl

[mrgoodstuff]

That's a tough one since it depends a lot on upbringing, her natural mental state and ofcourse life in general. I don't know I mostly dated younger girls so with over 30 I had few hook ups nothing serious. You probably had a marriage with over 30 girl so you know better for sure.

My good marriages, I married them young under 25 years old. They weren't on a ho warpath. Actually one was a "party" girl at the end of college but she got enough pump and dumps and knew she wanted a solid dude.

Dating on 30 and up, most of them apply systems that literally ensure that you can't have a fully good situation. But like I said last nite I was not in azzhole mode and I was able to see differently. The babe i noticed had a lot less sparkle, but they were more pure. It seemed it would be a pleasant situation with them.

 

[Romanemp22]

My good marriages, I married them young under 25 years old. They weren't on a ho warpath. Actually one was a "party" girl at the end of college but she got enough pump and dumps and knew she wanted a solid dude.

Dating on 30 and up, most of them apply systems that literally ensure that you can't have a fully good situation. But like I said last nite I was not in azzhole mode and I was able to see differently. The babe i noticed had a lot less sparkle, but they were more pure. It seemed it would be a pleasant situation with them.

How did you find those girls you married especially that girl who was pure and not a party type? Did you look specifically in some places or did luck helped you?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

How did you find those girls you married especially that girl who was pure and not a party type? Did you look specifically in some places or did luck helped you?

It was college. One was in a class and liked hanging around me. It didn't take any extra effort on my behalf. The other I met in a study hall 5 yrs later.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

@BeExcellent

We are living in very different times today, and the realities of the situation for men have changed since the sexual revolution and especially since the advent of social media. The old fashioned values you are highlighting may still work for women, but I feel they put men in a bad spot, and I do wonder about their application in the world we currently live in.

I do completely agree with you that most men here want it both ways - a good-girl virgin, yet one willing to sleep with them on the third date. So I want to understand your thoughts on men encountering women who seem to be old fashioned:

How does a man know he will be sexually compatible with a girl if they don't have sex until after he has legally commit to her (IE how does he know she won't allow sex more than once a month and when she does, that she won't just lie on her back like a dead fish and ask him to please hurry up and not make a mess)?

How does a man know that this woman truly likes him, romantically, and is not just stringing him along for attention and/or validation?

How does a man know she isn't asexual?

How does a man know she isn't a lesbian and just hasn't realized it yet?

 

[christie]

you ask good thoughtprovoking questions; I noticed that on another thread that I'm still ruminating on.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

@BeExcellent

We are living in very different times today, and the realities of the situation for men have changed since the sexual revolution and especially since the advent of social media. The old fashioned values you are highlighting may still work for women, but I feel they put men in a bad spot, and I do wonder about their application in the world we currently live in.

I do completely agree with you that most men here want it both ways - a good-girl virgin, yet one willing to sleep with them on the third date. So I want to understand your thoughts on men encountering women who seem to be old fashioned:

How does a man know he will be sexually compatible with a girl if they don't have sex until after he has legally commit to her (IE how does he know she won't allow sex more than once a month and when she does, that she won't just lie on her back like a dead fish and ask him to please hurry up and not make a mess)?

How does a man know that this woman truly likes him, romantically, and is not just stringing him along for attention and/or validation?

How does a man know she isn't asexual?

How does a man know she isn't a lesbian and just hasn't realized it yet?

Alot of them are "lesbians" or on the path to it, if they have done started on that f*ist path. That path is not feeding traditional and natural gender norms at all.

 

[Romanemp22]

Alot of them are "lesbians" or on the path to it, if they have done started on that f*ist path. That path is not feeding traditional and natural gender norms at all.

Yet lesbians are wiling to svck your d1ck always

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yet lesbians are wiling to svck your d1ck always

Weird.

 

[BeExcellent]

@BeExcellent

We are living in very different times today, and the realities of the situation for men have changed since the sexual revolution and especially since the advent of social media. The old fashioned values you are highlighting may still work for women, but I feel they put men in a bad spot, and I do wonder about their application in the world we currently live in.

I do completely agree with you that most men here want it both ways - a good-girl virgin, yet one willing to sleep with them on the third date. So I want to understand your thoughts on men encountering women who seem to be old fashioned:

How does a man know he will be sexually compatible with a girl if they don't have sex until after he has legally commit to her (IE how does he know she won't allow sex more than once a month and when she does, that she won't just lie on her back like a dead fish and ask him to please hurry up and not make a mess)?

How does a man know that this woman truly likes him, romantically, and is not just stringing him along for attention and/or validation?

How does a man know she isn't asexual?

How does a man know she isn't a lesbian and just hasn't realized it yet?

These are legit questions no doubt. Even for myself I’d prefer to know how a man’s sexuality is prior to getting serious...having been married already it’s not like I’m going to suddenly become inexperienced sexually...obviously if connection and chemistry are there that’s wonderful (and I won’t go out with a man without that tension being there) desire as I’ve often stated.

But different people are all over the place in what they enjoy and are comfortable with and it’s important that the sexual interaction is satisfying for both people...so I agree that’s important to know. A freaky guy that wants to swing for example is never going to be happy with a plain vanilla woman, some women are adverse to sex or oral sex, and I get wanting to be sure of sexual compatibility.

I agree times are different but being conservative as a young woman does have its benefits as stated. The tough thing I see is that few young men are patient enough to wait, and most young people are sexually experienced to one degree or another so expect or desire a fulfilling experience. In times past lovers ideally would learn and explore one another together within the security of a committed relationship...and I get that is becoming almost unheard of except in the very youngest cohort.

The second best thing I think is for a man to be the more experienced lover so he is able to guide and mold a woman to his preferences but even that requires patience and investment.

As in most relationship things effective communication becomes paramount.

It’s not an easy problem to solve short of men simply being accepting that women like sex too and if a woman is great in bed she learned that with someone else along the way.

Many of the guys I run with have accepted the idea that women are sexually experienced...especially in my age group (which if I recall you are in your 40s or 50s too...) and they just take it as part of the territory in dating.

So yeah I get it.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

These are legit questions no doubt.

Thanks for the reply. I am curious though, if you have direct answers to my specific questions? I ask because I dated an old-fashioned good girl from a rural area about a year or so ago. 23. One sexual partner ever. Really cute. A lot of mutual interests. Great conversation - like old friends. Went to church 2x per week. Didn't ever use OLD because she wasn't actively looking. Met her at the grocery store on a cold approach. I ended up ending it after three months of non-exclusive dating (though we never discussed exclusivity of course). I wonder what would have happened from time to time but my gut told me then, and still now, that we would have just been friends.

 

[Romanemp22]

Thanks for the reply. I am curious though, if you have direct answers to my specific questions? I ask because I dated an old-fashioned good girl from a rural area about a year or so ago. 23. One sexual partner ever. Really cute. A lot of mutual interests. Great conversation - like old friends. Went to church 2x per week. Didn't ever use OLD because she wasn't actively looking. Met her at the grocery store on a cold approach. I ended up ending it after three months of non-exclusive dating (though we never discussed exclusivity of course). I wonder what would have happened from time to time but my gut told me then, and still now, that we would have just been friends.

What turned you off? Was it the fact that she wasn't a challenge to you or boring? I never had "good" gf like that because until now I was only hooking up with various types of girls mostly slvty ones.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

What turned you off? Was it the fact that she wasn't a challenge to you or boring? I never had "good" gf like that because until now I was only hooking up with various types of girls mostly slvty ones.

Well, obviously we weren't having sex. That's ok though - for a girl I got along well with who has only had one sexual partner, I would wait a good while. But what turned me off was:
1. No tongue with kiss ever, even after 3 months
2. Got the feeling she didn't even like the kissing but did it out of duty because she knew it was expected when dating
3. She had just moved here for school (like 2 weeks before I met her) and had no friends yet. Didn't drink or go out. I had a hunch she might be going through the motions of a PG romance in order to keep me around as a friend because she was lonely.
4. Discussion about sex made her very uncomfortable - again, that's ok because of her experience level - but when I very carefully opened her up about it, I asked her if she ever enjoyed sex with her one partner and ultimately her answer was no. Could that have been because he was a bad lover or wasn't compatible with her? Maybe. Could it be because she is just asexual, doesn't enjoy sex, is a lesbian and hasn't accepted it, or hasn't figured out what makes her hot in a man? Maybe.
5. It simply didn't progress. It was like we were just best friends who talked a lot, hung out a lot, cuddled and kissed without tongues. Strangest dating I've ever done in my adult life. Felt like I was back in middle school.

I enjoyed hanging out with her and had not caught any feelings so it would have been fine for me to keep hanging out with her because I wasn't necessarily "investing" anything - I was just enjoying her company. She didn't make anything difficult, went with the flow, let me lead, and would initiate contact all the time. But I do want romance and there are plenty of other hot girls willing to provide me with that so I chose to focus my time on them instead of her. But most of the other girls have turned out to be......... so yeah, I do sometimes think back to her and wonder what would have happened. I still think it would have been a 90% chance of just ending up as friends though. Just where I felt it was heading. Maybe I'm wrong.

 

[BeExcellent]

I will try to the best of my ability @oldmanofthesea . I’m postulating and extrapolating but I’ll give me best advice...

Q1: How does a man know he will be sexually compatible with a girl if they don't have sex until after he has legally commit to her (IE how does he know she won't allow sex more than once a month and when she does, that she won't just lie on her back like a dead fish and ask him to please hurry up and not make a mess)?

Answer: He can’t know entirely. The best insurance against this is desire. As in mutual desire. A woman’s body cannot lie if she is turned on. Nor can a man’s. Desire drives everything and she should be desirous of him even if she is exercising self control. It also helps to discuss expectations, especially if sex might not be in the immediate offing. The discussion should happen outside the bedroom, not in it.

Q2: How does a man know that this woman truly likes him, romantically, and is not just stringing him along for attention and/or validation?

Answer: Again, desire. Effort. Kindness and caring. Thoughtfulness. Consideration. Physical touch and wanting to please him and care for him. Ask questions like what if I lost everything and it’s just us...watch her expression. Read her responses...

Q3: How does a man know she isn't asexual?

Answer: Desire. If she’s hot and bothered and aroused she is not asexual. Now. Some women, if inexperienced may not really know how to relax and received pleasure...they may feel uncertainty or shame around sex or acute shyness about their body. So here trust in you as the man becomes extremely important...this is where you can lead, guide, reassure.

Q4: How does a man know she isn't a lesbian and just hasn't realized it yet?

Answer: She is desirous of you.

See the theme? Desire. That underpins everything. Desire, trust and communication are the key elements in my experience and estimation.

And as a man it is best you do not put her on a pedestal and just make love to her tenderly. That robs you of the fvck her into submission passion and it robs her too. And if you cannot objectify her enough to fvck her silly? Somebody is eventually going to shop elsewhere to satisfy that primal urge. You will (because my wife won’t do that), or she will once she realizes what truly primal desire is...

I think a great deal of cheating happens for exactly that reason. Desire must be primal and raw in nature. Not entirely...but that element needs to be part of the mix or someone is going to get bored in time...

Your 23 year old woman, for whatever reason did not behave in a desirous manner toward you. Maybe it’s a shame or shyness thing. Her discomfort to discuss it suggests that was perhaps part of it.

Sometimes women need coaxing to create arousal. But her resistance to deep tongue kisses would suggest lack of desire...especially if you as an experienced lover have had positive feedback about your kissing from other women...

Your gut may be spot on.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Good response - thank you.

Answer: Desire. If she’s hot and bothered and aroused she is not asexual. Now. Some women, if inexperienced may not really know how to relax and received pleasure...they may feel uncertainty or shame around sex or acute shyness about their body. So here trust in you as the man becomes extremely important...this is where you can lead, guide, reassure.

This perfectly described the good girl I had experience with - very inexperienced. She didn't know what she was missing so how could she want it? But if she is like that, and you attempt to earn her trust and lead and guide her, and she still won't move forward, then to me, it's a dead-end. Which is what I felt happened.

 

[Romanemp22]

Well, obviously we weren't having sex. That's ok though - for a girl I got along well with who has only had one sexual partner, I would wait a good while. But what turned me off was:
1. No tongue with kiss ever, even after 3 months
2. Got the feeling she didn't even like the kissing but did it out of duty because she knew it was expected when dating
3. She had just moved here for school (like 2 weeks before I met her) and had no friends yet. Didn't drink or go out. I had a hunch she might be going through the motions of a PG romance in order to keep me around as a friend because she was lonely.
4. Discussion about sex made her very uncomfortable - again, that's ok because of her experience level - but when I very carefully opened her up about it, I asked her if she ever enjoyed sex with her one partner and ultimately her answer was no. Could that have been because he was a bad lover or wasn't compatible with her? Maybe. Could it be because she is just asexual, doesn't enjoy sex, is a lesbian and hasn't accepted it, or hasn't figured out what makes her hot in a man? Maybe.
5. It simply didn't progress. It was like we were just best friends who talked a lot, hung out a lot, cuddled and kissed without tongues. Strangest dating I've ever done in my adult life. Felt like I was back in middle school.

I enjoyed hanging out with her and had not caught any feelings so it would have been fine for me to keep hanging out with her because I wasn't necessarily "investing" anything - I was just enjoying her company. She didn't make anything difficult, went with the flow, let me lead, and would initiate contact all the time. But I do want romance and there are plenty of other hot girls willing to provide me with that so I chose to focus my time on them instead of her. But most of the other girls have turned out to be......... so yeah, I do sometimes think back to her and wonder what would have happened. I still think it would have been a 90% chance of just ending up as friends though. Just where I felt it was heading. Maybe I'm wrong.

I believe those kind of girls tend to be submissive to the core. What happened to her after? Did she got married if you heard?

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

She actually sent me some meme thing on instagram and I was just directly cold with her. It was about kids and I said I love kids but now I don't see myself in that life,that's why I always fvck with condom. And she actually said don't talk about sex with me. And I never responded on that . A lot of bullsh1t from her

Rollo is a dweeb but 100% right that you demonstrate. Its not story time.

Block delete and go get hotter younger girls. Then troll on sight.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I believe those kind of girls tend to be submissive to the core. What happened to her after? Did she got married if you heard?

No clue. Had a polite convo with her that this just felt too platonic for me and that I didn't want her to do anything she didn't want to do with me. She said her intent wasn't for it to feel too platonic but we had had the platonic conversation one time before and her actions spoke otherwise. This was only like 1.5 years ago. I haven't reached out to her nor she me. My guess is that when COVID hit and colleges went virtual, she moved back in with her parents in rural farm-land - no sense paying for an expensive apartment in the city when you aren't going to school in-person. I'd guess she isn't dating anyway. She didn't date anyone for the two years between her ex of 5 years and me.

 

[Romanemp22]

Rollo is a dweeb but 100% right that you demonstrate. Its not story time.

Block delete and go get hotter younger girls. Then troll on sight.

Yea I've moved on already, too many sh1t I dont want to deal with.

 

[Romanemp22]

No clue. Had a polite convo with her that this just felt too platonic for me and that I didn't want her to do anything she didn't want to do with me. She said her intent wasn't for it to feel too platonic but we had had the platonic conversation one time before and her actions spoke otherwise. This was only like 1.5 years ago. I haven't reached out to her nor she me. My guess is that when COVID hit and colleges went virtual, she moved back in with her parents in rural farm-land - no sense paying for an expensive apartment in the city when you aren't going to school in-person. I'd guess she isn't dating anyway. She didn't date anyone for the two years between her ex of 5 years and me.

I'm surprised she didn't contacted you meanwhile, especially if she's single.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Yea I've moved on already, too many sh1t I dont want to deal with.

Its open season bud. You want compliance. She falls on place or ****kkk off. Fellas need to be RUTHLESS. Not violent. My patience is on empty. I don't do social media. I am not following or slipping into DMs. She either is following my lead and taking her clothes off or #next! Women are savages out rampaging the streets for her right to murder babies. They will be stoned in other parts of the world. Fellas are supplicating, simping and pandering to hoes.

Take THE hottest girl at 18. She's still a cheese burger or broken condom away from expiration. Real talk. Get accustomed to being on the prowl. Road warrior. Lone wolf. There is always hotter and younger on the come up.