"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Ok it happened... am I ****ed?

marmel75

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No the curtain picking etc was done in the first week of arriving, she is an architect and urban designer and hasn’t real good taste, helped me make my place more homely so I’m really not complaining.

Right so I came home, she mentioned not really remembering much about last night, so I reminded her, she groaned and said “fvck my life” but I told her it’s all good.

This is not too bad, will update on this evening.
Sure she doesn't remember...she was telling all her friends all about it today
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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sazc

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devilkingx2

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Right so I came home, she mentioned not really remembering much about last night, so I reminded her, she groaned and said “fvck my life” but I told her it’s all good.
That sounds pretty worrisome lol
 

17 shots

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Just play the role, then break up after the lease is up if you don't still like her, or you might even actually like her still, and stay with her ... you were already treating her like your girlfriend anyways. All that was missing was the sex
 

Billtx49

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she groaned and said “fvck my life”.
This chick obviously can’t control her own behavior while under the influence. Did you even find her minimally compatible other than drugs before her move in ?
My advice - Do Not knock her up
 
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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A

AJ84

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I really don’t see this ending well for you Murk, despite your intentions of trying to keep this in your frame. It’s so far from that now.
I’m sure she’s a nice enough person but there seems to be a lot going on with the boozing and drugging and not really launching as an adult, and in the long run what affect will that have on your well-being?
Maybe take a weekend holiday away from the situation to clear your head a bit, regroup.
 

Murk

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She’s on the pill so no preg worries. She’s also flying out to Barcelona today until Sunday. I’m going to take this time to seriously think about it all.

AJ is right, the drink and coke have to stop.

I did find this girl compatible before the move in. This is the girl that I was going to monkey branch to from my ex gf before we broke up but I played it wrong and decided to bang randoms for 8 months instead.

She did reiterate last night that she can wait until she moves out to see what happens between us but that she doesn’t wanna see me bringing girls back... so I’m fvcked. I have no option but to be exclusive with her, which isn’t a bad thing in my mind, could just take this experience for what it is for the next few months.

Oh she also asked me if I was jealous when she brought that guy back a few weeks ago, obviously I said no, she seemed apologetic about that. I'm defo smashing something while she's away for 4 days, clear my head.
 
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devilkingx2

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I did find this girl compatible before the move in. This is the girl that I was going to monkey branch to from my ex gf before we broke up but I played it wrong and decided to bang randoms for 8 months instead.
The way you wrote this makes it sound like you make your decisions via magic 8 ball, which is very funny, but probably not what you meant lol
 

Murk

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The way you wrote this makes it sound like you make your decisions via magic 8 ball, which is very funny, but probably not what you meant lol
Well I wanted to go from one relationship to another - then I realised being on my own was cool and had lots of fun this year. I'm already jaded and want a gf. It's funny how the universe works.
 

Soflobro#3

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She’s on the pill so no preg worries. She’s also flying out to Barcelona today until Sunday. I’m going to take this time to seriously think about it all.

AJ is right, the drink and coke have to stop.

I did find this girl compatible before the move in. This is the girl that I was going to monkey branch to from my ex gf before we broke up but I played it wrong and decided to bang randoms for 8 months instead.

She did reiterate last night that she can wait until she moves out to see what happens between us but that she doesn’t wanna see me bringing girls back... so I’m fvcked. I have no option but to be exclusive with her, which isn’t a bad thing in my mind, could just take this experience for what it is for the next few months.

Oh she also asked me if I was jealous when she brought that guy back a few weeks ago, obviously I said no, she seemed apologetic about that. I'm defo smashing something while she's away for 4 days, clear my head.
This is a bad idea. Your fvcked if you catch feelings. Women who don't have substance abuse problems are bad enough as it is.

But we know you're not going to listen, you're probably not going to stop using. I've been living with ans dealing with people in recovery. I knew ao many people who overdosed from herion. I know how addict behavior plays out. I would suggest you quit using everything but weed and stop aeein this girl, but you're my going tp listen.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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sazc

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So if you decide to relationship her right now, she's never moving out.

if you decide to wait until after she's moved out, are you going to be celibate for the next however many months before she moves out?

I'm willing to bet she will extend her time living with you, cuz that's the kind of girl she seems like.

You really weren't thinking with the right head where are you?
Good luck with it all
 

Soflobro#3

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So if you decide to relationship her right now, she's never moving out.

if you decide to wait until after she's moved out, are you going to be celibate for the next however many months before she moves out?

I'm willing to bet she will extend her time living with you, cuz that's the kind of girl she seems like.

You really weren't thinking with the right head where are you?
Good luck with it all
He probably wont even want her to move out. Hes going to want the security of knowning where she is and what shes doing when shes home. Especially because he knows she likes to get fvcked up.
 

Murk

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So if you decide to relationship her right now, she's never moving out.

if you decide to wait until after she's moved out, are you going to be celibate for the next however many months before she moves out?

I'm willing to bet she will extend her time living with you, cuz that's the kind of girl she seems like.

You really weren't thinking with the right head where are you?
Good luck with it all
Her parents have the £400k to wire her and she is in the process of putting bids out (as per mortage broker's advice). She wants to be closer to work, she is definitely moving.

And yeah I can't be celibate until then, she said she can wait but that's lies. I really don't know what to do then. Maybe have a proper chat when she's back?
 

Soflobro#3

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Her parents have the £400k to wire her and she is in the process of putting bids out (as per mortage broker's advice). She wants to be closer to work, she is definitely moving.

And yeah I can't be celibate until then, she said she can wait but that's lies. I really don't know what to do then. Maybe have a proper chat when she's back?
Fvck you should move in with her and live for free. Do it.
 

Murk

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I could just rent out both my rooms and live with her and make serious bank. She text me today that we should stop the mid week drinking so lets see how that pans out.

We can replace that with movies and sex and we would be fine.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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E-Man-Cipated

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You guys are sweet - probably time to start touring the school options for your kids?
 

Murk

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She's just sent me a link to a 4 day break - Northern Lights in Iceland "next year?"

Ok it's happening :(
 

E-Man-Cipated

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She's just sent me a link to a 4 day break - Northern Lights in Iceland "next year?"

Ok it's happening :(
You are free to do whatever you want. You don’t owe anything to anyone.

Don’t get yourself into a long term relationship just to avoid 3 months of pain...
 

Murk

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I haven't even screened her for an LTR. She was a chick I hit on, that became a pretty good friend, who I now lives with.

She (to my knowledge) hasn't had a serious relationship before, never talks about guys or boyfriends. She admitted last night that she has never felt this way before about a guy and doesn't know how to express it. That was in response to me telling her she's very guarded/closed book.

Her never having a serious relationship is a pro, not a con right? I usually prefer women who know what's expected and how to treat a man, but this leaves the door open to mold her into my frame more? She's feisty, but any time I've put my foot down on anything she falls into line (which I really like about her).
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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