Couldn't resist.
1. She’s no wimp. Single moms are tough and independent.
If we wanted that, we'd date other men.
2. She’s already a great mom. (And weren’t you looking for someone who would be a great mother? Look no further!)
She's already a mom. "Great" is presumptuous.
3. She’s incredibly patient, but doesn’t have a lot of tolerance for bad behavior. She’ll be good for you.
Bad behavior like having kids out of wedlock?
4. She doesn’t play games. She doesn’t have time to just fool around. She takes her relationships seriously.
She has no choice, other than spinsterhood.
5. She’ll only keep you around if the relationship is a good thing for both her and her kids. You won’t have to guess if she’s into you.
I don't have to guess if a woman's into me because I'm not a clueless beta. And women don't "keep me around."
6. Single moms are easy to pamper. (They don’t get breaks very often. Hint, hint.)
Childless women get more breaks, meaning more spare time for wild sex.
7. She’s loyal — and is fiercely protective of her little brood.
So protective she risked their futures by conceiving with alpha cads.
8. She can articulate what she wants and needs from a relationship.
Wants: Financial providence, beta male co-motherhood. Needs: Validation of withering attractiveness and poor life choices.
9. Single moms are both practical and fun. There’s no room for diva behavior.
DJs can weed out diva behavior - that's not an issue.
10. She’s no longer a party girl, but a fun night out is still very welcome.
Saturday night: Sweat pants and Haagen-Daaz!
11. She’s selfless. Single moms put others’ needs before their own.
I'll bet that's what she thought when the sperm were swimming upstream. Or when she raped her husband in divorce court.
12. Moms make the best lasagna and give the best back rubs.
I can make lasagna, and asian massage parlors exist.
13. You’ll get to take part in adventures to amusement parks, the zoo and the park. Bonus: You’ll have an excuse to play with toys.
Shoot me now.
14. She’s adaptable. She knows that life doesn’t always go as planned and has learned how to make the best of it.
The c0ck carousel isn't all fun and games; it's Russian Roulette. Funny how women constantly petition the government to fund family planning, yet cannot properly plan their own.
15. Single moms can do it all, but are super-appreciative of a helping hand. Woo her with kindness and acts of service.
Do I even need to bother with this one?