Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Download the pdf I linked you to in my first post of the thread, we are doing week one. Say hi to 50 people in a week is this week's challenge but you also need to see the articles that go with it so download that pdf file.Originally posted by Inquire
count me in, just joined yesterday i think.
but wut are we doin, i read ur posts, but im still lost in a way.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I have the same problem..especially, because I don't have a car myself (I'm 22, but compared to the US it's fairly normal to not have a car at this age if you're going to college and not working already ;-)). Yesterday I bought a bus ticket which'll allow me to go to town every day by buy (even if it takes almost half an hour to get there and to get back, too)....Plus I think you can even walk around in your neighborhood and say hi to some people. It's all about making the effort, I guess, because if you start letting up you can lose your progress quickly (at least I did...).Okay I admit it, I haven't been out for the last 2 days so no HIs, my bad I guess, it sucks living far away from people. At least im going out tommorow night.
I'm doing some sort of untimed bootcamp, too, I guess..because I have some major problems approaching or even saying "Hi" to strangers...before I started I had felt like I could never say hi to a complete stranger (for some silly reason)..now I know I can and I have to work on being able to greet pretty much anybody..if I can do so I'll move on to the conversations..but I wont really follow the exact bootcamp plan. I'm only doing "His" and "conversations". I've never really had a problem asking a girl for her phone number or being afraid of being blown off by a girl if Im already talking to her..my only real problem is that Ive almost never dared approach a girl (at least never on the street, being completely sober)..so Im trying to get as good as possible with the his..working my way up to being able to saying hi to almost any hot chick I see and then I'll start with the conversations by talking to like senior citizens or like in environements where its not a completely cold approach..and finally work my way up to doing conversations with girls..but I dont think the BC should be set in stone..the only really important things to me are that A) you dont cheat yourself (by saying hi only to senior citizens but never saying it to HB9s and HB10s) B) make as much of an effort if you possibly can.Ah well today I also didn't go out . I think I might just do an untimed bootcamp to be honest. I don't have a neighbourhood, there are about 4 houses in my entire road which are empty most of the time, with no bus service... I could bike but there are these massive hills! So it's lift with parents or nothing heh. Anyway im not going to moan about this, im just going to go with what I have and just try when I get the chance.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.