"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
nougat's bootcamp- come in beginners
- Thread starter nougat
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Download the pdf I linked you to in my first post of the thread, we are doing week one. Say hi to 50 people in a week is this week's challenge but you also need to see the articles that go with it so download that pdf file.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
specialed
Don Juan
I'm going out tonight since it's a friends B-day and she is bringing all her friends. woohoo!
I will be making them jealous by saying hello to all the other girls that walk by. I'll also go for some convo since I'm not drinking tonight, I should have my head!
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
I have the same problem..especially, because I don't have a car myself (I'm 22, but compared to the US it's fairly normal to not have a car at this age if you're going to college and not working already ;-)). Yesterday I bought a bus ticket which'll allow me to go to town every day by buy (even if it takes almost half an hour to get there and to get back, too)....Plus I think you can even walk around in your neighborhood and say hi to some people. It's all about making the effort, I guess, because if you start letting up you can lose your progress quickly (at least I did...).
. I think I might just do an untimed bootcamp to be honest. I don't have a neighbourhood, there are about 4 houses in my entire road which are empty most of the time, with no bus service... I could bike but there are these massive hills! So it's lift with parents or nothing heh. Anyway im not going to moan about this, im just going to go with what I have and just try when I get the chance.Ok so I finished off the Hi's today. Reached my 50. But hey guys, those of you who live in areas where its difficult but still moving on, I applaud you for your dedication. Those of you whose determination is slipping, remember whats at stake here gentlemen. It's not just a matter of getting laid, its a matter of having a choice of any woman you want, getting laid alot, having the time of your life, and graduating from being a chump, to someone James Bond might hang out with.
I'm doing some sort of untimed bootcamp, too, I guess..because I have some major problems approaching or even saying "Hi" to strangers...before I started I had felt like I could never say hi to a complete stranger (for some silly reason)..now I know I can and I have to work on being able to greet pretty much anybody..if I can do so I'll move on to the conversations..but I wont really follow the exact bootcamp plan. I'm only doing "His" and "conversations". I've never really had a problem asking a girl for her phone number or being afraid of being blown off by a girl if Im already talking to her..my only real problem is that Ive almost never dared approach a girl (at least never on the street, being completely sober)..so Im trying to get as good as possible with the his..working my way up to being able to saying hi to almost any hot chick I see and then I'll start with the conversations by talking to like senior citizens or like in environements where its not a completely cold approach..and finally work my way up to doing conversations with girls..but I dont think the BC should be set in stone..the only really important things to me are that A) you dont cheat yourself (by saying hi only to senior citizens but never saying it to HB9s and HB10s) B) make as much of an effort if you possibly can.
Btw I talked to some older lady on the weekend for 30seconds or so...wouldnt really call it a cold approach but I can definetly see how Im moving towards this goal....but I still have to get a lot more comfortable about the hi's.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Ok guys, sorry i haven't really been posting this week... nothing too eventful. Not really sure how many "Hi's" i've gotten but im pretty sure that i've reached the required 50. I make eye contact with everyone automatcially now.
Ok so now a field report of last night. So i meet up with my two buddies, and we've heard of this party which we planned to head to. But while we were prepartying we found out that one of my friends neighbors was having a party. So we rolled over to that to start off the night. At first there were like 15-20 dudes and 3 chicks, but a few more showed up in the next half an hour or so. Got to talking to two girls, a 6, and her 7 friend who are just home for the summer
My friend calls me with the directions to the initial party we were gonna go to so we decide to go out. We end up taking those two girls we met. When we got there i made it a point to talk to most of the girls there, fluffed the 6 and 7 too.
Me: So you any good at pool?
HB7: Oh yea! Im on the pool team at my college bla bla.
Me: Pool team?! Cmon, you don't need to lie to kick it!
etc etc
Cops come and break it up around about 11:45, so i put my beer down and almost slipped in the vomit on the front porch. So Me, my two buddies, and the 6 and 7 go back to the neighbor's party. More people were there and i met a few more girls. Fluffed HB8, but it didn't really go anywhere. Met another 7 (23 yr old), and her 6.5 friend, teased them about how they were making up their jobs.
The original 6 and 7 were both 19 are living with their parents for the summer. I tried to get them to stay but they said they couldn't not go home that night.
So i talked to the 23yr old HB7 for a bit and #closed.
Me: You know im turning 21 in a couple weeks. That means that you're gonna have to take me out and by me drinks.
HB7: Oh definitely!! Here's my number.
Ok now for a little analysis (sorry if this post is getting really long, but i just want to make sure i learn from this).
That first party i didn't really know anyone but i stll was able to talk to whoever and flirt with and carry on some good conversations with the girls there. The #close was ok, but ill get a lot of girl's numbers at parties but never really call them. I might call this girl.
But i talked to my buddy this morning and he told me that he ended up boning the HB7 that i #closed. Im not jealous or anything, but it makes me think that i'm not agressive enough when it comes to sex sometimes. Sure i initiated some kino, but i never really, as the gunwitch method states, got her to say "no."
I think that one of my problems is that i don't put myself in a position where i can get rejected. I'm pretty sure that if i had just tried to progress from the conversation to something more physical i could have. I really have no problem talking with girls at parties and flirting and stuff, but i am not being sexual enough with them.
Anyways, at least i've identified an issue that i will just have to work at. It is something that i'm gonna keep in mind for the future.
As for week 2, i am going to be going on a cruise from monday-friday, so this will give me a good chance to work on the conversations with strangers. Im sure ill get a lot of approaches in.