Noticing an interesting trend on initial dates

[BackInTheGame78]

Have had this happen quite a few times now where I will be out on an initial date and we will be sitting next to each other at the bar talking. At first she isn't really giving any indications to me of interest, I will continue playing it cool, spreading out, leaning back...some small Kino like grabbing her hand/wrist and asking about a bracelet, etc...

At some point, maybe 20-30 mins in, I will notice her turn her entire body to face me, usually ending with our legs/knees touching. Obviously this is a pretty good IOI, and then she will usually start Kino on me...

Just interested as to why the nonchlantness at first even tho she ends up being into me? Is it a desperation test? As in seeing how I will respond? Something else?

Just had it happen again last night...ended date with a pretty strong makeout after she was very touchy feely on the walk to her car...

Wondering if maybe my calm, relaxed demeanor has them more guarded? Just interested in the dynamics going on here...

 

[6stringer]

You know, I've had this happen to me on a few recent dates now that you mention it, and each time I scored, if not that night, soon after.
I don't know why either.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You know, I've had this happen to me on a few recent dates now that you mention it, and each time I scored, if not that night, soon after.
I don't know why either.

Yes, that's happened with two of them, this would be the 3rd...

It's kind of weird...almost like they want me to declare interest first, and then when I don't they have to do it...

 

[6stringer]

Maybe they are just honestly sussing someone out.. Like they are laying back to see what you are like and what you do?
Or it could be that being laid back and not trying too hard to get to know her raises attraction levels?
I'm not sure, but I thought about it some more and it's been happening on a certain level for a while now, I just hadn't really put much thought into it.

Works for me though, so no complaint here!

 

[marmel75]

Maybe she is wanting to see if you are congruent with what she thinks about you before displaying interest? Perhaps she is seeing if you get nervous or it throws you off if she displays nothing at first?

 

[zekko]

Most likely it just takes her a little while to get comfortable with you.

It's like sticking her toe in the water before jumping in.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Most likely it just takes her a little while to get comfortable with you.

It's like sticking her toe in the water before jumping in.

That's a good thought as well...

However, it does seem a little weird considering she would have to already decided she liked me to some degree by coming out on the date with me in the first place instead of flaking...

Either way, it doesn't phase me at all anymore...I used to get worried if I didn't see signs of interest, and start doing heavier Kino, but I think that came off as a little strong on some of the women, although it did work, but not for the long term...this method seem to work much better for getting long term bangs for me...

 

[Atom Smasher]

Women know that when they emotionally invest in a guy that it's hard for them to detach, so they need to get a feel for whether or not to put themselves in a vulnerable position. It's simply self-preservation.