"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Not sure if I should contact her?

V

Vikman

Don Juan
Joined
May 25, 2007
Messages
66
Reaction score
0
I met a girl this weekend at a conference. She is very nice and I thought we really clicked. We spent hours talking. The big problem: We live 7 hours apart. Plus, pending certain schedules, we might not see each other at these conferences anymore.

Before I left, she handed me her email, aim and phone number. Should I really contact her? I like her, but I'm concerned that I'll never see her.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

T

TheBaconator

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 28, 2008
Messages
325
Reaction score
7
Location
NYC
Vikman said:
I met a girl this weekend at a conference. She is very nice and I thought we really clicked. We spent hours talking. The big problem: We live 7 hours apart. Plus, pending certain schedules, we might not see each other at these conferences anymore.

Before I left, she handed me her email, aim and phone number. Should I really contact her? I like her, but I'm concerned that I'll never see her.
Click to expand...

What do you have to be concerned about? If you contact her you may end up seing her, and if not no big deal.
 
W

WesCottII

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 6, 2004
Messages
1,349
Reaction score
11
Location
Nottingham
It is what you make it.

You're in control of wether YOU see her, not some mystical force.

If nothing comes from it, you've got a pivot 7 hours away, and it's practice in talking to women.

You can never have enough contacts.
 
M

Mr. Me

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 19, 2007
Messages
1,356
Reaction score
84
She lives seven hours away. Any time you spend talking to her on the phone or writing an email is time used for WHAT reason? That time spent you could've been using to meet and talk to local women who you can date regularly.

Also, consider what your goal would be in communicating with her? All that time you'll spend on contacting her will lead to... WHAT? Seeing her ONCE in a while? In the meantime, she'll be crossing paths with local guys who'd be more than happy to get with her, and she sure isn't going to sit home alone waiting for some guy who she hardly ever sees who lives seven hours away. So what's the point? You wanna get involved with someone who you'll see once in a while, maybe, when you could've met someone locally? It's just not practical.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
Top