Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Not sure how to be happy as I get older

Stephen89

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 24, 2016
Messages
355
Reaction score
91
I'm 33 and I have to accept as I get older I won't get the attention i got in my 20s.

I went to amusement parks, and many chances of befriending women etc and I get jealous of younger males with groups of women.

I have a stable job, I'll inherit this house and as I get older my finances will be good.

I do have a few female friends however they have their own family, lives.

When I was young, I had a lot going on for me and a lot to look forward to. Forums, sports practice, watching sports, video games, backyard cricket, forums, college etc.

Possibly their could be some venture opportunities, self employment opportunities as I get older.

Im passionate about life, watch horror stuff etc. I have another cousin who I watch this stuff.

I'll travel, however underneath I wish to be in my 20s.

However I'm a sort of group person and I sort of always envisioned myself and get jealous of younger males having a fun time with females at the cinema and experiencing life.

I'm a group person and maybe a should join a private paid membership club or something or nightlife etc.

I'm friendly and get on well with people, i know I'll have male friends.

I just feel very sad.
 
Last edited:

jaymbrs

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 27, 2017
Messages
1,994
Reaction score
1,995
Age
37
You’re not alone. Growing older and apart from your friends is unfortunately common especially if you don’t go the traditional route of marrying early and starting a family. I find that over time you just get used to it. Just don’t wait too long otherwise you’ll end up a depressed older man like my friend who is about to hit 50. He partied his ass off til his 40s then it all came crashing down. Females are no longer interested in him and he has a genuine hatred for women now.
 

Pierce Manhammer

Moderator
Joined
Jun 2, 2021
Messages
4,552
Reaction score
5,462
Location
PRC
Seriously? 33 and you’re feeling old? Your 30’s should be your salad days man! Still young enough to pull 20-something’s without much of an issue, you should be well established in your career and have some disposable income. You’re also a target for women your age, and beyond.

Some day you’ll look back at your 30’s and realize all that you had going on.
 

Dr.Suave

Moderator
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
3,596
Reaction score
3,971
Bro 33 is nothing. @LucianoM is older than me and he posted the pic of a hot 18 year old he pulled this year. You could also find new friends who are still single.
 

Jor-El

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 7, 2020
Messages
321
Reaction score
379
Location
UK
I get it...but if you are feeling sad now your (young..) youth is over,well,what ya gonna do assuming you live to be 85 ? Gotta find new reasons to be cheerful or you are going to live out the rest of your days in misery....iv no answers really,but,remember,the young uns you see today,well,there old age will come,there`s no escape
 

corrector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
9,036
Reaction score
3,447

I was 21 years old when this song came out about youth. I did do allot of walking and exploring the town during that time when I was studying for R.E. There is just so much potential and possibilities and hope during these times. I always remember the 90s fondly. I turned 33 2009. That was a second-youth with me. Took up biking, swimming lessons, travelled to Israel, Trinidad twice and got a ex-gf and ex-wife well into my 30s. It's only after 2019 (ie 43 years old) it started feeling like the beginning of the end of that youth.

You should still have some more mileage at 33, as I consider that still a very young age.
 

manfrombelow

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 28, 2021
Messages
1,755
Reaction score
2,246
Age
34
Hey OP, I'm the same age as you, and trust me I know exactly what you're talking about.

It sounds like you're single now?
 

BillyPilgrim

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
4,524
Reaction score
3,548
The curse of 33 strikes again.
 

Stephen89

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 24, 2016
Messages
355
Reaction score
91
Thanks for all the comment guys.

I am single right now, I'm very confident I'll be in a ltr. And have children.

I was attractive.

I imagined it would be an extension to my 20s which going into my 30s which are house parties, etc.

The stuff that makes me happy, cricket has gone boring, nothing good about it now and not the game it used to be over 10 years ago, I was mad passionate about in the 90s, 2000s. This 20 over cricket is akin to have soccer 20 mins futsal, who likes that where there is no finesse.

I enjoy watching movies, horror stuff, reading etc, I might go back to uni to do a masters in comp sci in my mid 30s. That could be interesting.

I could still fit into my local community.

As I said there will be venture, self employment opportunities in the future.

I often romanticise the past when I was in early school, college, just being young, looked forward to those international cricket tournaments on TV which doesn't happen now, backyard cricket, many other stuff.

As I said, I'm a group person, maybe I need to go on meet ups, join clubs, network with people.
 

Stanley

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 6, 2022
Messages
1,130
Reaction score
1,324
I often romanticise the past when I was in early school, college, just being young, looked forward to those international cricket tournaments on TV which doesn't happen now, backyard cricket, many other stuff.

As I said, I'm a group person, maybe I need to go on meet ups, join clubs, network with people.
Brother I get you. When I was only 23 I was having thoughts like yours. They only sought to **** up my worldview.

People would tell me i'm young, but it didn't cut through at the time. At 25 I know I am young and at 33 I know you are also young. I too focused on the past and many of the missed opportunities, it was unpleasant. Do not be incongruent with your core values. Your anxiety, sadness comes from a place of internal lack, real or not. Your subconscious is screaming at you and it surfaced in your thoughts and mood. Become the person you want to be. Do the things you want to do. Tell societies 'expectations' to **** right off, they only seek to pacify you and keep you from your potential.

Build your relationships, garner a strong social circle, stay on your purpose and enjoy living in the moment. Make yourself priority number one, become disciplined and understand what it is you want to accomplish. Follow your passions and do what you want to do for yourself. Don't allow a victim mindset to take hold of you, that is slippery slope and often leads men to depression. Kick that shid to the curb and leave it there. Undertake extreme accountability and grow! Kick the sadness and anxiety in the ass, it does not serve you aside from giving you motivation to grind. I like David Goggins approach to self deprecation. He believes there are two core voices in your head, one that serves you and one that lessens and belittles you. Let that voice of obstinance overtake your doubtful inner monologue. Fear is a cage and being in a state of discomfort when used correctly can be a catalyst for growth. Do not doubt yourself. Make a plan and start doing it. It isn't cliche that this coincides with new years; the time of year is irrelevant to undertaking personal growth.

Depression is rooted in the past and anxiety in the future. Consider therapy if you think your are genuinely depressed. It helped me tremendously. Finding a good therapist is difficult, but it has been one of the best decisions i've made for my mental well being. Can't recommend it enough. It is not 'beta' and anyone who tells you otherwise only seeks to bring you down...crab mentality is sometimes here.

I've recently taken a liking to Bedros Keuilian over on youtube. He (imo) has some great takes and has many videos I'd consider worthwhile. I'll link one below if you're interested.

 

kavi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 2, 2022
Messages
726
Reaction score
624
Age
39
OP is depressed due to living an a system of atomization that causes loneliness, boredom, lack of meaning etc. Humans are social creatures and the current state of the world is greater atomization which is problematic. Self-Improvement, suck it up, grow up etc is not the solution to this. You can make it more bearable by throwing yourself into work, money, fitness, relationships etc but it is not a real solution.

It is not helped by men thinking a relationship or nuclear family set up is the solution. The only solution is the building of communities.

I was in the same place as OP a few years ago. I remembered my best times was when I was young in school, had friends and a community to belong too. I remembered around 35 that my best times where when I was 12 years old and I organised a local soccer meetup where lots of my local friends and relatives came and every week we played soccer. It was like a community friend group thing.

Knowing at 35 that was my biggest personal achievement and happiness is what caused me to go down the path of community building, hoping to get back that feeling of 'connectedness' and community.
 

Stephen89

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 24, 2016
Messages
355
Reaction score
91
I was thinking, maybe I could build a backyard cricket team with my pals and I could join meet ups etc.
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
7,993
Reaction score
4,490
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
By "group person," I'm going to assume you mean "extrovert?"

Loneliness is not a big deal to introverts (like myself). But I imagine it's a lot tougher for extroverts.

Notwithstanding, I think it's way too early to worry about being "old" at 33.
 
Last edited:

Machine10033

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 29, 2017
Messages
787
Reaction score
1,090
Age
42
You will always feel sad and unfulfilled at any age if you have no purpose. When we are younger society literally pre programs us with that purpose school: from 5-22 years old we are in a cycle of self improvement for the purpose of eventually finishing our education and go into the real world.

At some point it’s on you to find your purpose and what makes you tick. At 33 no one gives a sh!t if your sad because no one pays attention to you anymore. Go get your purpose, strive to improve every moment your breathing and in time people will begin to notice you again.

Ask yourself why is no one paying attention to me and begin to fix that.
 
Top