Not letting feedback from women affect self worth..

[FloggingDavid]

I find it odd. But I will often do okay with HB8’s, but occasionally fumble with an HB6. That isn’t to say I get every hotter woman, or that I never score with the HB6, but is this just part of the game? How do you not let rejection of getting dumped affect your ego?

(History: I have never been bad with women, but I was thoroughly blue pulled until recently)

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I find it odd. But I will often do okay with HB8’s, but occasionally fumble with an HB6. That isn’t to say I get every hotter woman, or that I never score with the HB6, but is this just part of the game? How do you not let rejection of getting dumped affect your ego?

(History: I have never been bad with women, but I was thoroughly blue pulled until recently)

Keeping a "girlfriend" around ( means your spending time and fvcking at will) will make "rejection" with others a non-issue.

 

[lost_blackbird]

How do you not let rejection of getting dumped affect your ego?

I don't have one of those, it died a great many years ago if indeed there ever really was one there to start with.
My mental image of myself is not good at all, even though my eyes can clearly see that I'm in amazing shape for
my age, above average looking, articulate, solvent and with plenty of skills and abilities, my friends regularly tell
me as much, but then they would wouldn't they, that's what friends do. Getting the old brain to believe that is and
has always been an unwinnable battle. I am a people pleaser and will go way too far to help another but struggle
with helping myself. I hinge my worth on the beliefs of others and will bend over backwards for even a complete
stranger if I feel I might increase my worth in their eyes. I'm even self aware enough to realise this isn't healthy or
even remotely a DJ mindset yet I can't stop myself. I find myself doing this simp sh1t all the time with guys and girls
just to try and get some, any sense of acceptance. Aspergers is a b1tch!

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Its something you get over with time, its not a pleasant experience but your confidence ultimately needs to rise above all the comments

 

[Serenity]

It's because of your expectations and how you value a woman relative to yourself. Say you consider yourself 7/10, you expect the HB6 to want you because she's below you and the HB8 to lose interest because you are below her. How much it affects your ego comes down to what you think of yourself in relation to a woman.

Rejection doesn't affect me much in general anymore, I dumped my ego and found a whole other perspective on it. If a woman doesn't want me then I immediately lose my attraction to her, the woman wanting me is one of the most important factors for my attraction to her. I am good enough by my own standards, I don't need to win over every woman to prove it. That's what people with an ego does, they do it because they don't assume they're worthy so they need to prove to themselves and sometimes others that they're worthy.

Being hurt by rejection comes from being insecure about ones own worth.

 

[samspade]

How do you not let rejection of getting dumped affect your ego?

I assume by "feedback" you mean just plain rejection and not verbal criticism.

Someone once told me: Rejection isn't real. She's not rejecting you but the circumstances....and it isn't really about you, it's about her. A girl could have a million reasons to say no.

Therefore her reasons, to you, should be irrelevant. You're just two bodies in each others' orbits for a while, til you're not. Sex might happen or it might not.

As for the ego...I recommend taking the proper steps to truly and unconditionally love yourself. I know that sounds silly. For years I thought I did, but only over the last few did I begin to become accepting of who I was and what I want in life. For me it took effort to drown out the noise - the feedback - of others. Now I couldn't care less if someone is attracted to me or not...and I certainly don't care if they know I'm attracted to them. I'm very comfortable with myself.

 

[lost_blackbird]

Being hurt by rejection comes from being insecure about ones own worth.

Bingo!!

 

[Lynx nkaf]

If a woman doesn't want me then I immediately lose my attraction to her, the woman wanting me is one of the most important factors for my attraction to her.

I keep thinking of this and rereading this.

If a mate doesn't want me and shows this by starting interest in others, I immediately lose attraction.

The mate wanting me is one of the most important factors for my attraction to them.

Thanks for writing my thoughts, lol. I feel more normal now that I have this proof someone else thinks like this.

 

[Kotaix]

You also need to take into account that not all women will think you are attractive, there is a lot more subjectivity to women's attraction levels than there is in men's attraction too. Just like you don't find some "hot" women attractive that everyone else thinks are hot. For example, I don't much care for Natalie Portman even if she is objectively pretty.

Just because you think a woman is hot doesn't mean she has any duty to reciprocate. This is where the ego gets hurt because it doesn't get what it wants. Forcing something to work because your ego might get bruised, especially if the proper chemistry isn't there, is a recipe doomed to failure.

This is all fine in theory, but there is always that one girl that lights your fire and makes you forget about everything. I just had that happen a few weeks ago while I was away from home, and I still have trouble with her coming back into my mind

 

[LuckyStrike88]

I find it odd. But I will often do okay with HB8’s, but occasionally fumble with an HB6. That isn’t to say I get every hotter woman, or that I never score with the HB6, but is this just part of the game? How do you not let rejection of getting dumped affect your ego?

(History: I have never been bad with women, but I was thoroughly blue pulled until recently)

You should not put yourself in a situation to really get "rejected" if you just date a woman and take it slow and see where it goes you really can't get rejected. Only when being too eager and all in too quick can she really reject you and affect your ego. See such a rejection as humiliating and put your selfrespect above your lust.

 

[NSX-R]

I’m considered attractive i have a mindset like every woman out there is attracted to me and i make myself believe it . In reality there have been some women who didn’t find me attractive. What i did ? Nothing , i just kept looking my business. I like to use a quote from Sean Connerys James Bond in my head whenever this happens and that’s the “you can’t win them all”

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I’m considered attractive i have a mindset like every woman out there is attracted to me and i make myself believe it . In reality there have been some women who didn’t find me attractive. What i did ? Nothing , i just kept looking my business. I like to use a quote from Sean Connerys James Bond in my head whenever this happens and that’s the “you can’t win them all”

Never waste time on a babe who doesn't desire you. So you'll find others consider you handsome but you don't get them horny.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I find it odd. But I will often do okay with HB8’s, but occasionally fumble with an HB6. That isn’t to say I get every hotter woman, or that I never score with the HB6, but is this just part of the game? How do you not let rejection of getting dumped affect your ego?

(History: I have never been bad with women, but I was thoroughly blue pulled until recently)

If a 5 year old kid decided they didn't want to play a game with you would it have any affect on you?

You should view yourself as superior to them so being "rejected" by someone beneath you isn't even worth you giving it the time of day.

 

[Gentleman]

I find it odd. But I will often do okay with HB8’s, but occasionally fumble with an HB6. That isn’t to say I get every hotter woman, or that I never score with the HB6, but is this just part of the game? How do you not let rejection of getting dumped affect your ego?

Something to consider is that hotter women get hit on less. An HB6 gets hit on constantly by guys because they are perceived as more 'attainable' and this inflates their ego. An HB8 cause (average) guys to not approach because of the 'out-of-my-league' factor.

 

[samspade]

Something to consider is that hotter women get hit on less. An HB6 gets hit on constantly by guys because they are perceived as more 'attainable' and this inflates their ego. An HB8 cause (average) guys to not approach because of the 'out-of-my-league' factor.

True. And if you're a high value man, women won't send all the obvious IOIs guys talk about here. I think the "only deal with women who are interested" idea should take into account that everything is interest until she says no (and I mean NO, not attempts to disqualify you). Otherwise you'll leave a lot of fun women on the table.

 

[Tilex]

Read this thread:

Practising the art of pick-up on ugly girls first?

would it make sense for the not so experienced ones between us to practice picking up girls on the ugly ones first? I feel like I would be more comfortable at first talking to ugly girls because you'd feel more confident in front of them and you'd have a higher chance of getting a yes right? I...

www.sosuave.net

Do not hit on ugly or below average women!
They will distort your mind of the reality you live in.
Believe it or not, ugly women are the ones that play the most games.

I learned that the hard way. People always think the ugly ones are easier, but it's really the exact opposite. They all have a f*cking chip on their shoulder.

 

[Tilex]

You should not put yourself in a situation to really get "rejected" if you just date a woman and take it slow and see where it goes you really can't get rejected. Only when being too eager and all in too quick can she really reject you and affect your ego. See such a rejection as humiliating and put your selfrespect above your lust.

^^^
This is feminine advice
Take it slow and see where it goes?

Why would you torture yourself like that?
"Taking is slow" is the quickest path to the friend zone.
Why waste anymore time with someone that's not sexually interested in you?
Investing time with someone that's just using you for attention could be given to someone else.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

^^^
This is feminine advice
Take it slow and see where it goes?

Why would you torture yourself like that?
"Taking is slow" is the quickest path to the friend zone.
Why waste anymore time with someone that's not sexually interested in you?
Investing time with someone that's just using you for attention could be given to someone else.

It is! That attention doesn't need to be put into anything other person. It can be directed towards your goals. If a woman does not bring energy and desire to you she shouldn't be on your mind.

 

[Romanemp22]

I don't have one of those, it died a great many years ago if indeed there ever really was one there to start with.
My mental image of myself is not good at all, even though my eyes can clearly see that I'm in amazing shape for
my age, above average looking, articulate, solvent and with plenty of skills and abilities, my friends regularly tell
me as much, but then they would wouldn't they, that's what friends do. Getting the old brain to believe that is and
has always been an unwinnable battle. I am a people pleaser and will go way too far to help another but struggle
with helping myself. I hinge my worth on the beliefs of others and will bend over backwards for even a complete
stranger if I feel I might increase my worth in their eyes. I'm even self aware enough to realise this isn't healthy or
even remotely a DJ mindset yet I can't stop myself. I find myself doing this simp sh1t all the time with guys and girls
just to try and get some, any sense of acceptance. Aspergers is a b1tch!

Man up, stop working so hard to please people, let people please you

 

[LuckyStrike88]

^^^
This is feminine advice
Take it slow and see where it goes?

It seems you're looking at "taking it slow" in a negative way.

Why would you torture yourself like that?

Why would it be torture? Why the rush, a man should have more important things to do than "closing" some woman asap.

"Taking is slow" is the quickest path to the friend zone.

No. Behaving in a certain way like for instance being needy is the quickest path to the friendzone.

Why waste anymore time with someone that's not sexually interested in you?

Why would you even want to determine if she is interested that quickly. Being "all in" from the start and tortured untill she validates you isn't the way. It takes some time and a couple dates with her to see if YOU are interested aswell.

Investing time with someone that's just using you for attention could be given to someone else.

Agreed if that's the case. But as i said "date a woman and take it slow" does mean that you are dating, getting to know eachother. There's certainly nothing wrong about that.

If anything if we look at the OP's question "How do you not let rejection of getting dumped affect your ego?" it probably is an issue of wanting validation too quickly probably acting like that aswell, and getting rejected. As to dating a woman, taking it slow, and doing some validating of your own, can't really get you rejected in such a way.