Not everyone can be alpha. Just accept that you're a beta.

[MrJibbles]

For all you recovering AFCs who just read the Game and a few Gunwitch threads, are tipsy off a temporary confidence-buzz, and think you're going to be a playboy now, just think again. Sure, you can change by not being so passive and not letting women walk over you, but, ultimately, your personality will STILL be the same.

Some men were just meant to be "nice guys." Not everyone can be the charming, charismatic alpha that women are naturally drawn to. Some guys just have a personality that emotionally turns on women, while others are too sensitive/analytical/timid to really attract most women. I fall under the latter category. If you even begin to think you really do too, just accept it. Accept yourself. Not everyone can have the most attractive women. Stop fighting your natural tendencies. Settle for what you were meant to deserve in life. That doesn't mean at least try to go after what you want, but realize that your fantasy of becoming some popular super-g pimp even though you're really a geek is your ego talking, not reality.

After months and months of trying to be someone I'm not, I've finally realized that, deep down, I'm shy, awkward, and introverted. I'm not attractive to the majority of women, even though I'm good looking. After months of alcoholism and benzodiazepene (Klonopin) use, I became extremely disinhibited, aggressive, and ultra-confident around girls. I would go to parties, become the life of the party, the center of attention, and girls would flash me IOIs left and right. I was extremely assured of myself, and it showed. Women wanted me, people challenged me, and there was no stopping me.

Now after a few weeks of quitting drinking and benzos, my normal personality has been restored. I am socially-awkward, withdrawn, and intellectually-sensitive. I do not appear or behave "alpha" anymore. People who were used to the old me were confused as to why I was now "different", but now have accepted it, and now treat me as the actual "nice guy" that I am. Women no longer respond sexually to me anymore. Even if I try to flirt, women see it as slightly charming in a dorky and awkward sort of way, give me that fake smile, and instinctively know I'm not alpha. It is disappointing, I admit, and I miss the old charming me, but the substance dependency really had to stop.


Look at this video of Neil Strauss on Jimmy Kimmel. Sure, the dude can pull gimmicks to get dumb club slvts, but ultimately he is just jumping through hoops women set up for men to artificially score pvssy. You can still tell the dude is a geeky "nice guy" deep down inside. His methods have changed, but really has always been the same person.

The rumours are true: A good 90% of women are attracted to 10% of men. If you're not in the lucky 10% of alphas (probably most of you guys, because you wouldn't be on this site if you really were), which I believe are born not made, then just accept that you're never going to be in this 10%. Your canned openers and scripted banter lines are lame. You're not fooling anyone.

 

[backseatjuan]

In every wolf pack there is alpha wolf and beta wolves. Eventually beta wolves leave and start their own pack, they become alpha. You are not born alpha or beta, these are just social roles, and every alpha male used to be a beta. To become alpha you have to take that social position - meaning knowing psychology, mode 1 communication, respecting established power, etc. You'll become alpha if you act like alpha, i.e. keep on keeping on.

 

[NobodyCares1]

you actually can become alpha... it just takes a freaking lot of effort and time... I know... I've been the most betaish beta... not saying that now I am completely alpha but I'm definitely on my way to becoming one...

 

[Bible_Belt]

Betas still get laid, too. Often they marry hot women as well. And plenty of alphas end up in prison.

Wanting what you don't have is beta - like this self-pitying thread. Seeing the value in what you do have is alpha. Your value as a person is exactly the same regardless - the alpha/beta distinction comes from how you view yourself. The booze and pills didn't make you fake it to other people - they made you fake it to yourself. If you can have the same self-image while sober, then you would magically become the "alpha" that you think you can never be.

 

[SeymourCake]

You bring up a point. Alphas wouldn't be on this forum in the first place.

However, I do believe a person can change through more and more experience. The more experience you go through, the more confidence you have.

 

[PapiChulo]

I think people over think all this on here. Alpha male refers to one's social status, nothing else. Stop emitating and get something real. It's a subjective phenomena too: in jail, the badest guys is the a-male, in everyday's life it is a fit guy with money, career or fame.

 

[Mike32ct]

Pity stuff aside, there is a lot of truth to the OP's post. There are guys that are very bright and decent to slightly good looking but they still hardly attract women. The sad part is there isn't anything wrong with these guys.

If you don't fit a certain looks and personality profile, it can be quite difficult. Trying to be THAT (10%) GUY that you aren't is a Herculean effort.

Bible Belt is correct that "betas" get laid. But keep in mind that they do it via a social circle, not the bar/club.

So if you are the beta type, you have a few options:

1. If you have a sizeable social circle, just work with that and forget cold approaching. Only go out if your group goes out.

2. If you don't have a social circle, use day or night cold approach game but have a very very thick skin. (I've done this. It can work but it's exhausting and emotionally draining. It's the Herculean effort I talked about.)

3. Get involved in some hobbies/activites to try to build a social circle.

4. Forget about women.

 

[bigneil]

To say that "nobody Alpha is on the forum" is like saying "I wish I were Better, but nobody Better is on the forum."

Alpha is a relative term (I don't mean Uncle Leon).

Here's what will happen when you reach optimal health and you hit the bar scene:

You're are at your favorite restaurant looking great. All the girls are checking you out but most are on dates. The HB8 owners wife won't talk to you because she was insulted by something you said. There is an older HB7 woman at the bar who you made out with once but who is trouble. There is an HB7 bartender you know and wants to run away with you but she's got a kid. There is an adorable HB9 waitress, age 19, who you spoke to once before and you get great body language but you're old enough to be her dad. You meet a couple of women and one is married and the other one is fat. You start getting bad vibes once the fat one realizes you like her friend. So you go across the street and see the most gorgeous waitress but last week you found out about her lesbian lover and she's mad at you.

You see a couple you know, and the girl (an HB8 who you went on one date with) is kicking your foot under the table as the guy tells you they just got engaged (she is shaking her head "no" as he says it).

So you hit the third bar where your HB9 dream girl works. But the men in the city form a protective ring around her once they see her making eyes at you. Turns out that was her last night and she's in law school now. So you make out with another pretty hot HB7 but never call her because the bartender was hotter.

 

[Purefilth]

To say that "nobody Alpha is on the forum" is like saying "I wish I were Better, but nobody Better is on the forum."

Alpha is a relative term (I don't mean Uncle Leon).

Here's what will happen when you reach optimal health and you hit the bar scene:

You're are the bar looking great. All the girls are checking you out but most are on dates. The owners wife won't talk to you because she was insulted by something you said. There is an older woman at the bar who you made out with once but who is trouble. There is a bartender you know and wants to run away with you but she's got a kid. There is an adorable waitress, age 19, and you get great body language but you're old enough to be her dad. You meet a couple of women and one is married and the other one is fat. You start getting bad vibes once the fat one realizes you like her friend. So you go across the street and see the most gorgeous waitress but last week you found out about her lesbian lover and she's mad at you.

So you hit the third bar where your dream girl works. But the men in the city form a protective ring around her once they see her making eyes at you. Turns out that was her last night and she's in law school now. So you make out with another pretty hot one but never called her.

lol, lot of truth here:crackup:

 

[Solomon]

To say that "nobody Alpha is on the forum" is like saying "I wish I were Better, but nobody Better is on the forum."

Alpha is a relative term (I don't mean Uncle Leon).

Here's what will happen when you reach optimal health and you hit the bar scene:

You're are at your favorite restaurant looking great. All the girls are checking you out but most are on dates. The HB8 owners wife won't talk to you because she was insulted by something you said. There is an older HB7 woman at the bar who you made out with once but who is trouble. There is an HB7 bartender you know and wants to run away with you but she's got a kid. There is an adorable HB9 waitress, age 19, who you spoke to once before and you get great body language but you're old enough to be her dad. You meet a couple of women and one is married and the other one is fat. You start getting bad vibes once the fat one realizes you like her friend. So you go across the street and see the most gorgeous waitress but last week you found out about her lesbian lover and she's mad at you.

You see a couple you know, and the girl (an HB8 who you went on one date with) is kicking your foot under the table as the guy tells you they just got engaged (she is shaking her head "no" as he says it).

So you hit the third bar where your HB9 dream girl works. But the men in the city form a protective ring around her once they see her making eyes at you. Turns out that was her last night and she's in law school now. So you make out with another pretty hot HB7 but never call her because the bartender was hotter.

ROFLLLLLLLL @ this geezer right here

I mean really BigNeil you never miss an opportunity to DHV huh?

This whole alpha/beta nonsense is really what is messing a lot of you guys up. In the community, read a couple alpha blogs with no merit run up on broads and get shut down, then cry and call all women *****s

Think I'm making it up? I could posts threads on so called self-proclamied alpha guys who I have met off this site in real life

and BigNeil fits in that category

ALpha what? alpha deeze nuts

:kick:

 

[FairShake]

Since I am a charge nurse and fire chief I have to be the alpha dog at times. Tell people what to do, dress them down when they fvck up, and generally not be liked. Alot of pressure and not for me. If I didn't have to make they money or wasn't committed to having a great fire company it wouldn't be worth the bother.

I guess I prefer to be beta. I prefer to be nerdy, have close, longtime friends, bang nerd and hippie/hipster chicks, play bluegrass, and smile. I know a few alphas and they are stressed to the gills. Oh, and they can never dominate me. Too smart and to "don't give a fvck." That stresses them even more!

 

[zekko]

I think if you were able to achieve an attractive personality with the use of drugs, that personality must be in you somewhere. But it could be buried deeply, and as Mike32ct said, it can take a herculean effort to bring it out.

I think every guy is different. For some, achieving this kind of success is easy. For others, it is harder, depending on their upbringing, their personality, their circumstances, where they live, what their environment is, any number of factors. I have no doubt for some guys it is extremely difficult.

While I think most guys can effect change if they are determined enough, the effort may not be worth it to some. They may not be motivated enough to change themselves into something they're not, just so they can get laid. Maybe they just don't care that much about being a full on player. Maybe they'd rather just be satisfied with the girl they get in their social circle, than to turn their whole life upside down just so they can put a few more notches on their bedpost. Most betas have success with women on some level.

 

[Mike32ct]

Exactly. It's sort of like being an introvert. You are capable of being outgoing if you really want to but it's not easy to get into that state. Once you are in that state, you can only tolerate it for a certain amount of time. Then you go back to being quiet to "recharge."

Because of this, I'll admit that I'm far from consistent. My "normal" personality is laid back with maybe one or two friends. I only switch to hardcore "game mode" when im traveling (vacation sex rocks lol) or when I go out SPECIFICALLY to sarge. (But it requires hard work and plenty of warming up.). I have no interest in being the life of the party in my normal life.

Do I limit my success turning it on and off? Sure, but it's a tradeoff I accept.

 

[JohnChops]

I think its not about alpha and beta anymore. Its just about improving yourself to your full potential and to never stop improving. Yeah betas get married but who cares. They get used like no other, why would you want that? On another note betas get gorgeous nut case girls who have been chewed up and spit back out by dudes who ****ed her once and didn't want anything to do with her aka emotionally unstable women .

Yeah you can argue about alpha and beta but I see no point in it. If your healthy, have a good outlook on life and doing well for yourself (ie getting and going for what you want in your life) then in my eyes your doing fine. Fvck alpha and beta. I'm me.

 

[cordoncordon]

To say that "nobody Alpha is on the forum" is like saying "I wish I were Better, but nobody Better is on the forum."

Alpha is a relative term (I don't mean Uncle Leon).

Here's what will happen when you reach optimal health and you hit the bar scene:

You're are at your favorite restaurant looking great. All the girls are checking you out but most are on dates. The HB8 owners wife won't talk to you because she was insulted by something you said. There is an older HB7 woman at the bar who you made out with once but who is trouble. There is an HB7 bartender you know and wants to run away with you but she's got a kid. There is an adorable HB9 waitress, age 19, who you spoke to once before and you get great body language but you're old enough to be her dad. You meet a couple of women and one is married and the other one is fat. You start getting bad vibes once the fat one realizes you like her friend. So you go across the street and see the most gorgeous waitress but last week you found out about her lesbian lover and she's mad at you.

You see a couple you know, and the girl (an HB8 who you went on one date with) is kicking your foot under the table as the guy tells you they just got engaged (she is shaking her head "no" as he says it).

So you hit the third bar where your HB9 dream girl works. But the men in the city form a protective ring around her once they see her making eyes at you. Turns out that was her last night and she's in law school now. So you make out with another pretty hot HB7 but never call her because the bartender was hotter.

Delusional people gonna delusion.

 

[Cremasta]

Don't get caught in the trap of thinking that being alpha means you can do everything perfectly. Being alpha means lots of things, but one of them is finding out where your natural abilities lie and then being fantastic at them.

To use a sporting analogy... Roger Federer was No1 in the world in Tennis for God knows how many years. It doesn't mean that he was going to be No1 in the world in Formula 1, Golf or Heavyweight boxing.

You were half right. Definitely don't fight your natural tendencies, but don't just 'settle' for them either. Develop them into something better and make them work for you.

 

[Jeremiah]

Mr. Jibbles -

You say you gave up after months and months of trying to become alpha, but are you being honest with yourself? Did you put real effort into it? Also, gaming girls while your on a booze and pills binge is not going to improve your skills. If you game sober everyday for a significant period of time there is no way you won't see positive results.

 

[marmel75]

IMHO, this post doesn't really mean much because if you went out to the bar/club and went and talked to 50 hot chicks you would almost be guarenteed to bang one of them. It always ends up coming down to a numbers game in the end, but some guys are much better at getting a result with talking to many fewer girls.

If you talk to enough girls in a night, you will almost assuredly get laid unless you are a total creep/loser type of dude...you will find a girl who is drunk enough, horny enough, mad at boyfriend enough, thinks you are cute enough, etc...the problem is if it took a guy 49 rejections to get laid, most guys don't have the stomach to do it....

Think about it in terms of telemarketing. Your success rate is usually very low to begin with, except for a few really good ones who kick @ss. However, even the WORST telemarketer in the world would be able to get a sale if they called enough people. It just depends on if they can not get discouraged by having to go through that many people first...most can't and quit...

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Here's something else I've discovered: a lot of times, the so-called "Alpha" males are actually jealous of those who are non-alpha. Ironically, they feel this way because the non-Alpha male is usually one who is able to be friends with a LOT of females - including the girl they may be dating at the moment. Alphas aren't really good at having a female as "just a friend" because they can't comprehend why a guy would just hang with a girl without trying to get with her.

This is where the alpha-male usually slips up: he starts showing signs of jealousy, decreases the attraction level in the girl, and leaves her going off to the non-Alpha male for comfort - and trust, when this happens, it's usually the best time for the non-Alpha male to score

 

[Mike32ct]

Marmel, I fully support your post and agree, but there is one thing that doesn't get talked about...

It's difficult in practice to even come close to 50 approaches in one night.

Let's say there are 40 women at the bar or smaller club.

Maybe 12 are already talking to guys or with a date.

The rest might be in groups of two or three (or much more), so one failed approach with that group ruins your chances with that group and possibly adjacent groups of women that saw you get shot down.

You might realistically only get 5 or 6 approaches max at a bar of 40 women before you "sarged out" the venue. The ideal is a very very large club where most of your approaches won't be seen.

Even multi-pub crawl might only afford a guy 20 approaches on a good night.

So yes, I FULLY support the numbers game and use it. But finding ENOUGH targets without over-sarging the venue (and creeping them out lol) is a challenge.